To slow down on my clearing credit card debt quest?

[Onlyrainbows]

We've got just below £4k in credit card debt. Can't remember how much there was originally but I think it was around £7-8k at the start of this year. The debt is down to my husband overspending over the years and a few months of redundancy last year (my end). We now have a decent joint income and live a fairly comfortable life, however I'm always stressing out that I want to clear them before the 0% ends (one is first of January 2023 and the other one is in a year or so). However, I'm always stressing that they need to be cleared and get a tad annoyed that I never get to "enjoy" my money, because the priority is always to clear the cards.

Well I didn't give him a chance, it was either putting all of his salary in the joint account or he had to leave (well I guess that was his choice he had to make). But you know, I have so/so health. I'm under investigation for cancer and have a rare chronic condition that means I'll always be tired! Yet, in still the one that works long hours and has to manage the budget, yet I can't just go and spend without guilt because of the credit cards. I think I make enough money to say "sod it, I'll just buy a bottle of nice champagne" (or whatever).

Prioritise getting rid of debt or it will just grow. You don't want to waste your earnings on interest

He lied to you for four years. He created £8k worth of debt, and then only agreed that he'd put all of his income into the joint account when you threatened to leave if he didn't... and now he's oblivious to the debt.

I'm not surprised you feel resentful, even without the cancer investigations and ill health on top.

Can he get a second job? There has to be something he can do. Right now I can't see how he's not essentially waiting around for your very high salary to pay his debt off...

We did think of the idea of a second job, but it gets complicated because he wouldn't be able to see his other kids (or I would have to do the extra childcare) and I'd rather he helps me with that.

Haven't RTFT but can you pass the debt onto a new 0% interest card so you'll have an extra 2 years to clear it?

That's basically my plan rested

I’m not judging the person who said ‘only £4K’ but it would take me 4.5 months to earn that 😂😭

But why do you 'have to' manage the debt? What does he say to you when you say 'You ran up the debt, you deal with it'? Or when you tell him that you'll help him set up a separate account so that the repayments are fair to you both?

Why isn't he listening to how you feel about this?

We also went on holiday and spent £3-4k on it (which didn't end up on a credit card).

But something else did as a result.

Just clear it.

He now gives me ALL of his money. Setting up a separate account for him does nothing.

Has he contacted his creditors, or are all the debts in both your names?

No, not really. The debt was already there when we went on holiday, so I could have used that to pay the cards, but it didn't increase the balance.

Even without credit card debt I can’t imagine being on your salary and buying gadgets and expensive champagne while having no savings for a rainy day, especially in the current climate. Dipping into your children’s money shouldn’t be an option and it’s not nearly enough anyway. It’s not a matter of “if” something will come up, it’s “when.” Home or car repairs, health issues that need attention sooner than the NHS can provide, an issue with one of your children, or a million other things. If you are taking $4K holidays when you don’t have a cushion for that stuff you are absolutely living beyond your means. I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night.

Yep I'm with Red and Pestor, I don't think as a couple you've had your 'lightbulb moment to live as frugally and sensibly as you can. While the debt might have been necessary and no-ones "fault" there's still massive sacrifices that need making to get back on track. £4k on a holiday is ludicrous when you're £4k in debt.

Thinking £500 is enough of an emergency fund seems out of kilter with a £4k holiday lifestyle too. I've always been risk averse and very boring and sensible but I'd have those figures the other way round. £500 holiday and £4k emergency fund, at least until I knew I was completely financially stable again.

You do need to sort out your resentment toward your DH but buying an Apple Watch or a blender isn’t going to help that.

I think the biggest alarm bell is that you say "Well going on a £4k holiday didn't ADD to the debt". No. But it could have cleared it, and then you would be free NOW. I really do think you'll struggle in future if you carry on with this frame of mind.

If you hadn't gone away on holiday (or at least had gone on a budget one), that debt would now be at least halved.

I mean it was a holiday, but I also went to visited family (who had never met the toddler) when to get to be seen by specialists for a second opinion of all my health issues. So it was a holiday of sorts, but not entirely one.

Do you have savings for the next rainy day? How is the rest of your financial planning? - big costs such pension, mortgage overpayments or even if you plan to support the dc driving lessons/uni?

These all need to be balanced with the lifestyle you can afford.

I also needed to go to the lawyers over there to sort out some stuff too! Again, I don't have to carry the burden for something that would have been prevented if my husband had been a better person.

I have property abroad worth about £500k (which I know is not at lot) but that's enough in case anything went wrong again. The plan was (if I couldn't find another job) to sell one of those properties off and pay off the mortgage.

Your issue is that your husband disrespects you, and you resent him.

Money is the symptom, not the problem. Once you look the problem in the eye, it'll be easier to figure out what to do.

I'm very practical I think it's 100% a money issue.

Well I think owning a second property worth half a million is quite a lot!