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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not attend dc year 6 leavers assembly

44 replies

ChangingFaces39 · 21/07/2022 06:27

School decided to send a text out yesterday at 2pm to let us know year 6 leavers asssemby will be today at 9 am. I work at the hospital and have patients booked in for appointments so can’t make it.
i feel pretty bad that I can’t go, will I be the only parent who isn’t there?

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 21/07/2022 06:28

There'll be loads of people in the same position as you.
Is there no grandparent or second parent who could attend?

Original poster
ChangingFaces39 · 21/07/2022 06:30

Dads working away and grandparents would struggle to get there

OP posts:
PeanutButterOnToad · 21/07/2022 06:32

That is a shocker on the part of the school, I would imagine that a lot of parents will be in a similar situation so your child won't be the only one without a parent there but that doesn't stop you feeling crap! Could anyone else go instead? We live overseas and I have attended friends' kids' assemblies, concerts etc. and they have done the same for me in the absence of family.

parrotonmyshoulder · 21/07/2022 06:40

I’ve never been to any events like that for my children. I’m a teacher and cannot take time out of school for those things. My children have always been aware of this and the reasons for it. Your child will know that you have a committed job that you can’t leave for day time events. It’s only your child that matters here.

eitak22 · 21/07/2022 06:42

You wont be the only one, i cant nelieve your school would text so late and expect people to be able to make it!! We published our date months ago so parenta could try and book time off if they wanted.

Any friends who can take pictures (if allowed)? Would the school video it?

BusyMum47 · 21/07/2022 06:45

Sounds ridiculously disorganised of the school but surely you were expecting something to be happening on their last day, so it can't be that much of a shock to have it confirmed?

Pinkandpurplehairedlady · 21/07/2022 06:47

I couldn’t get to my DS’s yesterday and one of the parents videod it for me. Could you ask someone to do the same? I doubt you’ll be the only one not there.

AllFreeOwls · 21/07/2022 06:51

There's no way you'll be the only one not there with that sort notice.

Original poster
ChangingFaces39 · 21/07/2022 06:54

@BusyMum47 unfortunately, I need at least 2 weeks notice in work as I have clinics, I couldn’t book the whole week off “just in case” as I have to save my annual leave for school holidays. 😓

i could get a friends mum to video it for me.

OP posts:
bjjgirl · 21/07/2022 06:55

My dds one was yesterday with 2 weeks notice there were one of two parents who couldn't make it, we filmed it and popped it on our chat group and his best friends mum gave him a big hug etc, as they were upset at leaving,

You can't be there for everything and he won't remember or care in a year.

Ragwort · 21/07/2022 06:59

Of course you won't be the only DP that's not there, how on earth can the school expect full attendance with so little notice.
I did go to my DS's leaver's ceremony - the most tedious, dull two hours of my life.
My DH couldn't go due to working, I don't think he, or my DS, gave it a second thought.
I know it's easy to say now, but my DS is 21, a confident, independent young man at Uni and all this angst over leaving ceremonies, sports days, nativity plays etc etc is just not worth worrying about ... I was a SAHM for years so did go along dutifully to all the events but so what, comparing my DS to his friends whose DPs couldn't go to events there is zero difference ... it's all just guilt inducing to working DPs.

Original poster
ChangingFaces39 · 21/07/2022 07:01

Thank you @Ragwort that has made me
feel better. Ds doesn’t seem to mind, he knows I’m not able to go

OP posts:
Ontomatopea · 21/07/2022 07:01

BusyMum47 · 21/07/2022 06:45

Sounds ridiculously disorganised of the school but surely you were expecting something to be happening on their last day, so it can't be that much of a shock to have it confirmed?

Is this a thing? Inviting the parents? I certainly wouldn't have expected it. I'm sure when I was young I just had an assembly for the kids and a nice day of fun activities/tidying up. Parents weren't involved at all.

Ontomatopea · 21/07/2022 07:04

Anyway OP. You absolutely won't be the only one who can't make it if anyone else works. If by some weird chance all the other kids have a SAHP who can attend then your child will understand that you as a working parent can't just drop work like that unless it's an emergancy.

BlueMumDays · 21/07/2022 07:04

I don't think kids care about these things as much as parents do. The assembly is primarily for the kids, the audience is a bonus.

Same for sports day tbh - kids enjoy actually DOING sports day, it's not primarily a spectator sport (I've never been able to go to sports days because I'm a teacher, but I did manage to make one this year. I've been feeling guilty for years, but honestly, my kid gave me one quick wave, then just got in with the races!)

Ragwort · 21/07/2022 07:07

Changing - my DS actually said it me 'you know mum, you don't have to come to everything' Grin . Looking back I was 'that mum' who attended every event, joined the PTA, listened to reading etc etc ! Fortunately he then went on to a secondary school with zero expectation of parental involvement....

Outoutoutshout · 21/07/2022 07:32

I'd imagine this has been put on a newsletter or letter before this point. You probably missed it.

Original poster
ChangingFaces39 · 21/07/2022 07:34

@Outoutoutshout no, not mentioned anywhere. On group message with parents, who all agree this was the first they had heard about it.

OP posts:
MoveBitch · 21/07/2022 07:37

Outoutoutshout · 21/07/2022 07:32

I'd imagine this has been put on a newsletter or letter before this point. You probably missed it.

Yup, probably. Or it's on the school calendar on their website (I learnt early to check that!)

Either way, it's too late now and your DC won't be the only one

WTF475878237NC · 21/07/2022 07:39

If it's the last day of term for year 6 isn't it obvious they'd do something?

PuttingDownRoots · 21/07/2022 07:40

@Ontomatopea leavers assembly was a thing in the nineties when I left primary school...

Sounds like they forgot to tell the parents, I think schools have got a bit out of practice at inviting parents the last couple of years.

Original poster
ChangingFaces39 · 21/07/2022 07:41

WTF475878237NC · 21/07/2022 07:39

If it's the last day of term for year 6 isn't it obvious they'd do something?

It’s not the last day, they have another week.

OP posts:
TheTurn0fTheScrew · 21/07/2022 07:42

Our school did similarly - app message on Tuesday for an assembly today. Fortunately I'd booked annual leave guessing there might be something today. I did however miss the final if a sports tournament, and an event at my other kid's high school in the past month due to short notice. It's very frustrating but the DC assure me that more kids don't have a parent there than do.

NoSquirrels · 21/07/2022 07:43

That’s really shirt notice. OTOTH, I’m surprised none of the kids mentioned it to you, or none of the parents enquired before now when the leavers service is.

Either way it’ll be be fine. ask school if they can video it or provide the slideshow (if they do one).

ZenNudist · 21/07/2022 07:45

I didn't go to leavers mass. I have a job. I did 2 sports day and a play plus pick up and drop off on last day so he could take photos with friends rather than drop in breakfast club. Ds didn't mind.

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