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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not attend dc year 6 leavers assembly

44 replies

ChangingFaces39 · 21/07/2022 06:27

School decided to send a text out yesterday at 2pm to let us know year 6 leavers asssemby will be today at 9 am. I work at the hospital and have patients booked in for appointments so can’t make it.
i feel pretty bad that I can’t go, will I be the only parent who isn’t there?

OP posts:
Ontomatopea · 21/07/2022 07:46

PuttingDownRoots · 21/07/2022 07:40

@Ontomatopea leavers assembly was a thing in the nineties when I left primary school...

Sounds like they forgot to tell the parents, I think schools have got a bit out of practice at inviting parents the last couple of years.

Oh! I must have been odd one out.

Anyway OP. Don't sweat it.

redskyatnight · 21/07/2022 07:55

Ontomatopea · 21/07/2022 07:01

Is this a thing? Inviting the parents? I certainly wouldn't have expected it. I'm sure when I was young I just had an assembly for the kids and a nice day of fun activities/tidying up. Parents weren't involved at all.

Year 6 leavers' assembly is a big thing, yes. But it may not have happened for the last 2 years so I guess parents are not so aware of it. It normally would be the one assembly that parents would try to get to if they couldn't get to any others.

OP, in your circumstances, I'd designate another parent who your DC knows well/likes to go up and congratulate them at the end and take photos etc (assuming this is part of the assembly).

Jennybeans401 · 21/07/2022 07:58

Our school does this too, short notice for most things because the majority of mums are SAHM. It really sucks when you are a working parent and can't just take time off the next day. I would send a grandparent in your place and get someone to video the service. It's really unfair of the school though.

erinaceus · 21/07/2022 08:14

Can you let a friend's parent who is attending know and ask that they give an extra clap / cheer for DC on your behalf, and as someone upthread posted perhaps a hug after? And let your DC know that someone is looking out for them? You might also want to let the school know that on this occasion notice is unreasonably short.

millymae · 21/07/2022 08:24

I wouldn't worry OP. As others have said you won't be the only parent not there. Take the schools short notice as an indication that they don't really want or see the need for guests to attend. They can't not know that those that work can't just take time off at a drop of the hat - the vast majority of those that organise them are working parents themselves. I'd like to think that they would have enough sense to make sure that for the really important events enough notice is given

DappledThings · 21/07/2022 08:34

Ontomatopea · 21/07/2022 07:46

Oh! I must have been odd one out.

Anyway OP. Don't sweat it.

Wasn't a thing when I left primary in the 90s round our way. I've only become aware of the idea since mine started school from parents with older children.

Still seems a bit weird to me but with enough notice I'll dutifully turn up in 5 years!

neverbeenskiing · 21/07/2022 08:45

surely you were expecting something to be happening on their last day, so it can't be that much of a shock to have it confirmed?

Some schools have leavers assemblies/events on the last day, but many have them earlier in the last week, some have them the week before. Are working parents supposed to book a week or even two weeks annual leave so they can be available at next to no notice in case the school decide to text? Most working parents need to save their AL to cover school holidays and many have to book time off weeks in advance.

WinterMusings · 21/07/2022 08:48

WTF475878237NC · 21/07/2022 07:39

If it's the last day of term for year 6 isn't it obvious they'd do something?

these days they usually do something for the Y6 leavers, but not necessarily the last day, so what are working parents supposed to do? Book the whole week off, just to be sure they can attend an assembly??

I don't think so!!

@ChangingFaces39 it's ridiculous to be such short notice! It's nice to attend these things & some DC care more than others. But those with parents who work, especially jobs where you can't just shuffle your work load around last minute, understand that! can you arrange anything with a few if his friends to celebrate the end of primary & moving up to secondary?!

Newgirls · 21/07/2022 08:49

ask someone to record it and watch it with your child so it’s a shared moment

Echobelly · 21/07/2022 08:56

DH didn't make it to DD's one due to work - I didn't make it to DS' yesterday as I have COVID. It was unreasonably short notice, so you definitely won't be the only parent not there.

Someone filmed DS' bit for me yesterday and honestly that was the only section that interested me, so it's fine.

lljkk · 21/07/2022 09:01

Just explain why to your child & move on.
I found the leaver's assemblies pretty daft. I can barely remember any moment of them (4 DC).

Jules912 · 21/07/2022 09:05

I thought our school was bad at giving notice but they usually manage a couple of weeks (we did get something with 2 days notice this week but that's because it got postponed as the teacher was off with Covid last week).
I can usually shuffle my work around as I work part time so quite often take pictures for the other mum's who can't make it. Could you get one of the other parents to do that?

Tiani4 · 21/07/2022 09:06

School decided to send a text out yesterday at 2pm to let us know year 6 leavers asssemby will be today at 9 am.

Not surprised you couldn't do it OP
No one working that day in health , social care , police force, fire service, law, retail or anyone with booked in meetings or others relying on them at work, could have attended at that short notice. I wouldn't even sweat it.

The only people able to go will be SAHPs (if allowed to take younger ones with them and often they aren't!) and those who happen not to be working at that time.

Same goes for the rearranged sports days that you'd taken original time off for, and all the other last minute things schools spring on you!

It's strange to have the leavers assembly one week before school ends, ours was on the last day for Yr6. They went round singing g each other's school shirts so sharpies were needed and I had half day off as school finished at lunchtime anyway. I can't remember the leavers assembly. It's really just for the DCs to say bye to their teachers and classmates, not really for parents

bbqhulahoop · 21/07/2022 09:10

I'm not going to mine either OP. I've just started a new job and can't get the time off approved 😕 It sucks but it's sadly part of being a working parent isn't it. I hope your DC isn't as disappointed as mine x

ChangingFaces39 · 21/07/2022 16:18

Well I feel really bad. He said he was the only one there with no parent watching. He’s pretty tearful about it. I’m going to email school and just ask for more notice in future

OP posts:
Newgirls · 21/07/2022 16:58

Watch it together on a recording? He might just be tearful about the day and all that entails so pls don’t take it all on yourself

ChangingFaces39 · 21/07/2022 17:07

@Newgirls ah yes he might be tearful because of the day, I didn’t think of that thank you it has made me feel a little bit better

OP posts:
PumpkinPie2016 · 21/07/2022 17:16

That's ridiculously short notice - I wouldn't have been able to go either.

It's probably the day/end of primary that's made him tearful.

If it helps any, I am mid 30s now and honestly couldn't tell you which school events my parents could/couldn't attend (they certainly couldn't come to all).

Hothammock · 22/07/2022 12:43

My son's school changed the day and time of the assembly too with one day notice. Luckily for me I was able to attend, but then it took 2.5 hours!!! Schools often don't have much concept of other jobs and family commitments. I hope you get some photos or videos from friends.

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