AIBU in feeling let down by work?

[Snowflakewater]

Me and someone else in the department left at the same time they’d been there 3 years longer than me. I’d only been there for a year. So I completely understand how much they will be missed (please don’t misconstrue this I genuinely liked that employee and I was so happy for them they truly deserve it)

In the end I felt deflated because it seemed the speeches just felt less sincere for me and I was in their shadow. He had a lovely heartfelt speech along the lines of “you were brilliant we’ll miss you so much you’re so loved etc etc and you were an asset to us anything we needed you were there for us please come back to us if you don’t like the new place. If we ever needed you you always helped us and nothing was too much of an ask”

I got “thanks for all your help you worked really hard here and we know it hasn’t always been easy thank you for the help and good luck” ( I know it’s because I wasn’t there long)

It just seemed the way it was said wasn’t as sincere but I feel like I worked so hard to do the best for everyone. Later my manager was crying with the other staff member and said “yeah you picked a shit day to leave to be honest” almost saying, the other person is more important today you won’t get thr attention. The head also stated I. Their farewell “snowflakewater is now leaving as they came in to cover for x employee” almost framing it like I left because my time was up, but they offered me an extension In January and I declined so I felt there was some sense of annoyance on their part. Others who had been there the same time as me but left for other reasons got some kinder words and also “please do return and see us if you don’t like it” I never had that? But when the contract was being offered I was seen as “ a backbone to the team”

I may not be perfect but that did hurt. I gave a lot to this place and always tried my hardest and in return I just feel I may aswell not have been there.

The head then hugged the colleage and wished them well whereas just tapped my arm and said “good luck”. In all honesty I feel it was because I turned down the job extension a few months ago that the head just turned slightly funny on me but I just really felt like I wasn’t looked upon fondly at all.

I’m definitely feeling deflated today.

I was told that my contract was to be extended and then with 72 hours to the end of term, I was told I wouldn’t be returning.

I got a “Groovee is leaving us after a temporary contract and best wishes.” In a staff email.

Every other member of staff got a card signed by the whole school, and the money donated and a gushing paragraph in the end of term newsletter. I’d been there longer than most of them.

I’m in a much better job now with a better school staff support. Meanwhile none of my colleagues I worked with are there anymore having all moved on.

I know I know m it’s just hoe it felt for me

How did you feel?

I was heartbroken. It took me a good year to get over it. I went on supply to my current setting then on to a setting that numerous friends worked in and my confidence grew and I got my current role. I realise now it was exactly what I needed to be where I am now, it just could have been done in a less toxic way. I view management as shit there hence their high turnover of staff now.

That’s such a shame :( I hope you’re doing great now

I left a school after teaching there for five years and being on the leadership team. Another member of staff, who had been at the school one year, left at the end of the same term. I got made a big fuss of in the last assembly but the other staff member just got a gift and a short thank you speech.

I'd have been a bit miffed if they'd been given the same level of thanks! They were respected and the speech from the head made sure they knew that, but I was a long-serving teacher and leader, who'd done a lot of work in the running of the school, clubs, mentoring student teachers, preparing for a SIAMS inspection etc. Doesn't that deserve a little more recognition?

Clearly ypu made the right choice by not extending and leaving. Think of it as a lucky escape. As long as they give a decent reference I wouldn't worry about it. You're onto better things.

The nature of teaching is that people leave at the same time. We had a load of presentations yesterday: the part time mat cover got a lot less "fuss" than the person retiring after 3 decades. That's how it is.
You really need to try to stop second guessing everything. It's doing you no good at all.

No I think they should have a fuss! They deserve a fuss for being there longer. I just didn’t appreciate that I was solely acknowledged. People who worked there for less time than me got a better sentiment than that. However I was very upset after something that happened at the school and I had no support from the head so maybe it was expected because after it I visibly looked fed up

I think it’s the face that people who had been there for a similar amount of time as me got a better farewell. Although I looked visibly fed up after something big happened and stopped being a people pleaser so j think that was partly why I just was acknowledged

But you didn't mention people who'd been there a similar amount of time, you mentioned someone who had been there 3 years to your 1. You were annoyed as you said in the OP "the speeches just felt less sincere for me and I was in their shadow".

So you're changing the narrative to garner sympathy.

10 people left. I promise I don’t need sympathy. I think it’s hard having a speech after someone’s given more time so I suppose it was bound to be that way.

id been there similar times as others who also left. But tbh it’s a new day I can’t be bothered to overthink it anymore it’s exhausting

Me and someone else in the department left at the same time they’d been there 3 years longer than me

I’m definitely feeling deflated today.

From your OP. A differing story throughout the thread and a line at the end of your OP that suggests you want sympathy.

You sound exhausting tbh.

Think of it another way, the other person might have felt a bit put out if they made as much fuss over someone who had only been there for 1 year as them after 4 years 🤷‍♀️

Honestly I completely agree i wanted them to have a huge fuss because they were so dedicated and kind and generous. However people who were there the equivalent had a better few words from the head than me

Life goes on. I just left a role after 9.5 years with not much fanfare, I worked very hard and was well liked. C’est la vie. The thanks was the payslip.

I’m gonna try and be more like you!

It's clear from your posts that you didn't like the school and don't think much of the leadership. It will also have been clear to your colleagues since you have been "visibly fed up" at work. Surely under those circumstances a gushing speech about how wonderful your time at the school has been and how positive your working relationships are with everybody would have come across as insincere? They acknowledged your hard work and wished you well, so I don't think it's right to say they've been "unprofessional". When someone makes it very obvious that they are miserable in a job leaves people don't tend to be sad to see them go to be honest.

Take the comments about you to heart - the nice ones, and try not to compare.

you probably wouldn't have if they'd left 6 months before, it's just comparison, the thief of joy.

Very true. It wasn’t a good fit for me and I declined an extension because of personal reasons and suddenly I was the worst person and was ignored by the head for a while. Af first they praised me for my hard work then suddenly nothing and not even a hi. Just walked past me, they became increasingly agitated with others and it often felt really tense to be in the same room and I was scared to say much for a while. So I’m many ways I think I just had to go I didn’t like feeling like that

@Snowflakewater Sorry I think I sounded a bit flippant. I felt a bit like you did but then thought sod it. Onwards and upwards 😊❤️

Not at all! I appreciate your opinion