To walk out ? Not fair on the nhs ?

[Mulleryogurt]

Hi mumsnet,

I don’t post on here , just look for advice for my nephews but I thought I’d give this a go.

Im I’m hospital , I had a procedure this afternoon and because I live alone , had to stay in as there was no one to stay with me.

I want to walk out . I feel so bad , this bed could be given to someone else .
I feel absolutely fine and I’m just fed up. I haven’t eaten in over 48hrs because I had no food at home yesterday and I couldn’t eat for the procedure. I’m so hungry but no one knows if I’m allowed to eat or not now . I’d rather go home and be hungry . I’m also very emotional and I’m not sure why . I haven’t got anything to eat at home but at least I’ll be in my own space .

is it unfair to self discharge? Will they even let me since they’ve made me stay in ?

You're probably emotional because you are hungry, away from your home comforts, and stressed, all of which is very understandable. Plus having to fast on the hottest day of the year yesterday sounds horrible, sympathies.

Self discharging against medical advice is always an option, unless you've been sectioned. It's a hospital, not a prison.

Why don't the staff know if you can eat or not? That's bizarre that it wasn't handed over or written in your notes. Hope you feel better soon.

They can't stop you, assuming you're a competent adult.

Whether it's a good idea depends entirely on what you've had done and how much care you need. It's probably sensible to stay, not least in case you need any follow up or drugs on discharge. But I know how you're feeling - in a similar situation I gave my dog's name as my responsible adult. They needed a name, they didn't ask for details, I went home and was fine.

If you've had sedation or GA then don't drive, though - you will be impaired and, if anything happens, your insurance will wash their hands of you.

I keep asking and they said they aren’t sure if it’s just fluids or a soft diet . Still haven’t got clarification.
I was going to walk home . I’m not on a section but I have been on one before . Will that matter ? I’m honestly fine and would rather just be hungry in my own bed having a good cry to be honest

Press your buzzer and ask for something to eat. There are risks to sedation/whatever procedure you have had so they recommend you stay in overnight. Do not worry about taking up a bed, if they didn't think it was safer to stay they wouldn't have kept you in. You can of course discharge against medical advice but realistically how are you getting home at this time? And would you feel safe going away home yourself? Doctors who have trained for years have told you its not safe for you to be at home tonight on your own. The nurses will be in to check your obs tonight then once over night then in the morning, you'll see the doc am then be discharged home.

You'll be an easy patient for the nurses because your obs will most likely be fine, you'll be fit and well for the morning. They will be delighted to have you stay tonight.

If you're an adult with capacity you're entitled to make decisions about your healthcare, even if they're really stupid or put you at risk of harm. So you're entitled to self-discharge, even if it puts you at risk.

Is it a good idea? Depends on what you have had done.

They can only keep you in if:

1. They assess you as lacking capacity and are doing so on a best interest basis.


2. Your mental health is sufficiently unwell now (rather than historically) that you meet the criteria for sectioning.

From what you're saying it doesn't sound like those apply. So, yes, if you want to get up and walk home you can. Is it a good idea? Only you can weigh up those risks.

It is a really really really bad idea to leave hospital at this time of night and walk home when you don't have any food in the house. Speak to the nurse, insist on something to eat, try to sleep and then if you need to, arrange to go home in the morning.

I have asked for something to eat but they keep saying they need clarification.

it won’t really make a difference about food at home , I don’t have anything and won’t be able to get anything tomorrow anyways.

its only a 30 min walk . I do have capacity . I’m not in a good place mentally but they don’t know that . I’m just so worried they’ll say no . However, it is just one night . I might just have to suck it up .

Why is it you're in hospital at the moment? Why can't you get food tomorrow? Are you short of money?

It was just for a really minor procedure, I would’ve been able to go home if there was someone to be with me due to meds I was given. Even if I had the money for a taxi , they wouldn’t let me due to the meds.
I can’t afford food right now. I just want to go home .

This does sound hard for you.

But in truth it sounds as if it will be better if at least you can get a meal out of the hospital before you leave?

You have been in for a reason, you are as deserving of a bed, and care, as anyone else. Try and sleep until they can decide what you can eat?

Head under sheet, some breathing exercises and sleep?

Tomorrow is a new day, breakfast is always a good start, and you won’t have any nagging doubts that you haven’t been declared fit and well.

Oh bless you. Hope you're doing okay.
It's nearly 11pm. You don't want to be walking the streets at this time on your own.

You've nearly done the night. Before you know it the sun will be up and you can go home.

Without outing yourself if you're in Hampshire I'd be happy to help you with food. You can't go hungry.

Please please tell them that you had nothing before you came in and have no food at home.

Stay where you are, seriously.
You aren't fine otherwise you wouldn't have a hospital bed and you don't sound fine and that's probably because you need some food. Ring for a nurse now and tell them you want to go home you feel so bad and see what they say.

Thank you, that is true. At least here I guess I’ll be able to get some breakfast- someone by then would know what I can and can’t have I hope.
thank you so much for the offer but I’m not in Hampshire.
they know it’s been a while since I’ve eaten but I’m too embarrassed to tell them I have nothing at home.
all I honestly have in my fridge is some cheese, I don’t even mind eating that on its own . It’s better than nothing

Try and stay in hospital and get something to eat. Then think about how you can get some food at home, like using a food bank locally?
Don't feel embarrassed but maybe mention to one of the nurses you haven't eaten for a while.
Hope you feel better soon

Thank you,
I looked into a food bank and spoke to someone from citizens advice who was very abrupt. Said I don’t meet the criteria and the nearest food bank doesn’t deliver so if I did and had no money to get there , I would have to walk two hours. Must be a strict criteria to use them. I do work , very little hours , I’m not even sure it counts as work.

it’s so stressful. I’ve been an emotional wreck all week . I’ve applied for every job that I can possibly do as my current job can’t give me the hours.

Please don't be too proud to say that you have no food. Hopefully you will feel better after some breakfast.

Can you get to a food bank tomorrow?

Cross posted

Were you sedated for your procedure OP?
if so then that’s why you need to stay in for 24 hours, you are not using a bed that someone else could use, you are using a bed that you genuinely have every right to be using.
It’s yours.
as for the eating, keep pushing for them to check for you, it’s not fair for them to leave you hungry

Yes I had GA for it . Honestly all I want to do is cry and I feel like I’m bothering the staff by asking about food now , especially at this time .

I’ve decided I’m going to sleep it out . I’m not in a good state of mind right now to be walking home this late . Hopefully I get to go first thing tomorrow

I hope you manage to sleep. Sounds like a very rough time for you. X

It should say on your operation note if you can't eat. However if you were meant to go home as a daycase, then you can eat.

You wouldn't be sent home not being able to eat as you wouldn't meet the criteria for being a daycase

Crikey if they aren't sure whether and what you can eat, ask them to find out.

If you don't have a bean then stay until the morning as at least they ought to give you breakfast.

@Mulleryogurt

I'm sorry the food bank idea didn't work but I've just had a quick Google. Have you tried a community food service? This appears to be a free service where you are given a nutritious meal and you don't need a referral or voucher. That could be a start.

foodcycle.org.uk/community-meals/

I'm unsure where you are but perhaps you could look online for your area?

www.sofea.uk.com/about/our-mission/

I'm unsure of your age this service is for young adults. Again you'd need to look up your own area.

And also community fridges which everyone can access I think

www.hubbub.org.uk/the-community-fridge

Also, you might get help from Age Concern (sorry I don't know your age) but, thinking back to the beginning of lockdown in March 2020 when I couldn't get any online food deliveries for my elderly mother (and I couldn't keep bothering her kind neighbours) and I couldn't get to her, I contacted her local Age Concern who provided mixed boxes of foods, staples like bread, milk, cheese,fruit and veg plus some ready meals) until I could get her set up with supermarket deliveries. Perhaps that might help?

Also are you claiming all the benefits you are entitled to? Check www.entitledto.co.uk

Good luck OP. I hope, after a bit breakfast in the morning at the hospital, you manage to get help from one of these services. I hope things look better in the morning. 🌹