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Original poster

How to tell sports coach that my son is leaving?

105 replies

cheesecakeandtrifle · 20/07/2022 21:03

My son (aged 5) has been a member of a sports group for the last 18 months or so.
Never any issues until recently when a new boy joined and started causing endless bother for most of the other boys... Not sure what the situation is with the new boys (whether he's possibly neurodivergent or has special needs) but he's a damn nuisance tbh. Constant name-calling to the other boys, pushing them and generally making a show of himself.
I'm aware that at least 2 other parents have complained to the coach about him.
For the last couple of weeks my son has said he wants to leave the group because of this boy.
My son isn't physically scared of the boy (my son excels at karate and isn't shy about defending himself against bullies if necessary), but he just seems to find the boy draining and a damn nuisance.
He's asked me to tell the coach that he wants to leave, but how can I word my email in a diplomatic way? Obviously the coach is aware of this boy being a nuisance (due to 2 previous complaints), but I don't want to come accross nasty, although I do think it's important to leave the coach know the true reason for my son leaving (instead of making excuses like being too busy/tired etc to attend).
Any idea on how to word the email?

OP posts:
853ax · 20/07/2022 21:36

Is this in the karate class or another activity ?

Hellocatshome · 20/07/2022 21:39

cheesecakeandtrifle · 20/07/2022 21:32

Karate coach encourages his pupils to defend themselves against any physical attack by bullies.... Whole idea why most of the learners are there! Put it this way, I did karate throughout my childhood into my early adult years and never had any trouble with bullies IYSWIM :) Karate is a fantastic means of self-defence, discipline and character-building. I'm really glad all 4 of my kids enjoy it so much. Long may they continue <3

Show quote history

Yes my son very much enjoyed karate (black belt by 9 as it happens not that it matters) his coach would be appalled if he used karate outside if the dojo unless in serious danger of serious harm, as I was led to believe is usual practice. If your sons use karate for some minor childish event like a push in the lunch queue I think you will find yourself in for a rude awakening. The fact they used an official karate move will not hold any sway with the school disciplinary team.

dancinfeet · 20/07/2022 21:44

is it the karate class your child is leaving or another sports activity that he attends?
I run a dance school and would 100% want to know if the behaviour of a certain child was causing me to lose customers.

Original poster
cheesecakeandtrifle · 20/07/2022 21:45

britneyisfree · 20/07/2022 21:22

This is outing op. Get it taken down.

I instantly knew who you were, not many five year olds as talented as yours. And as for the 13 year old? Jackie Chan, watch your back!Wink

Knew who I am? That's amazing... Prize if you can give my child's first initial and initial of the are we live in ;) Haha

OP posts:
LarkspurLane · 20/07/2022 21:46

cheesecakeandtrifle · 20/07/2022 21:03

My son (aged 5) has been a member of a sports group for the last 18 months or so.
Never any issues until recently when a new boy joined and started causing endless bother for most of the other boys... Not sure what the situation is with the new boys (whether he's possibly neurodivergent or has special needs) but he's a damn nuisance tbh. Constant name-calling to the other boys, pushing them and generally making a show of himself.
I'm aware that at least 2 other parents have complained to the coach about him.
For the last couple of weeks my son has said he wants to leave the group because of this boy.
My son isn't physically scared of the boy (my son excels at karate and isn't shy about defending himself against bullies if necessary), but he just seems to find the boy draining and a damn nuisance.
He's asked me to tell the coach that he wants to leave, but how can I word my email in a diplomatic way? Obviously the coach is aware of this boy being a nuisance (due to 2 previous complaints), but I don't want to come accross nasty, although I do think it's important to leave the coach know the true reason for my son leaving (instead of making excuses like being too busy/tired etc to attend).
Any idea on how to word the email?

Are the bullies in his karate lessons or elsewhere? I think as has been said above, a five year old should not be using karate against other children outside of karate lessons.
If your child is this good, surely the coach won't want him to leave?
Or is this another club, not karate?

Original poster
cheesecakeandtrifle · 20/07/2022 21:51

dancinfeet · 20/07/2022 21:44

is it the karate class your child is leaving or another sports activity that he attends?
I run a dance school and would 100% want to know if the behaviour of a certain child was causing me to lose customers.

Hi dancinfeet, thanks for your reply..Yours is one of the more sensible, constructive replies. Not sure why so many people have an issue with a little boy being good at karate and confident in self-defence tbh.
No it's not the karate class he wants to leave (he absolutely loves that class).. It's another sports activity he attends. Was enjoying this other sports activity until recently when this new boy joined and started causing strife for most of the other kids in the class.
All the coach's precious time (bearing in mind the sessions are only 1 hour long) is currently being consumed by dealing with this disruptive kid.
Coach is already aware of the other kid being a nuisance too, other parents have complained.
Not sure why so many posters on here think I've being unreasonable or precious etc.
I just pay a lot of money for the sessions... Paying for my son to be coached. Not for him to watch in frustration as the coach spends most of every lesson dealing with this other kid's appaling and disruptive behavior.

OP posts:
CoolAir · 20/07/2022 21:51

Just email the coach and tell him your son is not really enjoying it any more as he finds the class gets disrupted too often by behaviour of others Therefore he will be leaving at the end of term

Original poster
cheesecakeandtrifle · 20/07/2022 21:56

LarkspurLane · 20/07/2022 21:46

Are the bullies in his karate lessons or elsewhere? I think as has been said above, a five year old should not be using karate against other children outside of karate lessons.
If your child is this good, surely the coach won't want him to leave?
Or is this another club, not karate?

Show quote history

It's another club for a different activity.

OP posts:
surreygirl1987 · 20/07/2022 21:57

This is hilarious. If you / your son want to leave, just say you're leaving and when your last day will be. Do you expect anyone to care?

Georgeskitchen · 20/07/2022 22:01

Are you not talking to the other parents? Are they happy with the behaviour of one child spoiling it for everyone else?
The coach needs to grow a pair and tell this child's parents not to bring the child unless his behaviour improves

Dotcheck · 20/07/2022 22:03

Karate is a fantastic means of self-defence, discipline and character-building

Except for the ‘damn nuisance’ child who isn’t allowed the opportunity to develop discipline.

allboysherebutme · 20/07/2022 22:09

I'd tell him the truth sorry we are leaving because my son finds the new child draining, he's not enjoying the group anymore because of him keep causing problems
Kind regards.

pimlicoanna · 21/07/2022 10:59

I'd you want to tell him just say what you said in your post. Otherwise just say he's stopping . It's not a big drama.

PeekAtYou · 21/07/2022 11:06

You are overthinking this. You don't need to say why
Just say that your son will be leaving the team effectively immediately and best of luck with future matches.
If you want to tell the coach why them call him. Tell them that the behaviour of another player has meant that he no longer enjoys the sessions.

Plumbear2 · 21/07/2022 11:14

All the dojos my kids have been to tell them never to use their moves outside of the dojo. Yes karate build confidence for the kids to stand up for themselves but the rules still insist that they are not to use their skills away from the dojo. You could be encouraging your child to get into trouble with the school and dojo.

Hoppinggreen · 21/07/2022 11:18

I think OP is hoping that Mr Miyagi apologises, offers to throw the disruptive boy out and begs her son to stay due to his incredible talent

WhatsErFace2020 · 21/07/2022 11:26

So this Isent even a karate class but another sport! Very odd, you needed to bring up DS’s Daniel San status or is this a regular thing for you...in school when the teacher comments on his reading abilities do you regale them with his most recent magnificent Crane move.

Just leave them group and tell the coach why in a polite way 🤷🏼‍♀️ Please do try not to bring up Karate with the coach either, I doubt he GAF.

Icanstillrecallourlastsummer · 21/07/2022 11:30

Can't believe you are happy to encourage your child to use martial arts on other children. I thought that was super against the ethos of the whole thing. Worrying really.

Anyway just say "dear coach, my little streetfighter won't be continuing next year [as he is off to start a vigilante campaign against 5 year old bullies using his newly acquired martial arts skills] , thanks for everything you have done these last 18 months. Thanks."

LateAF · 21/07/2022 11:36

cheesecakeandtrifle · 20/07/2022 21:56

It's another club for a different activity.

Show quote history

Then what is the relevance of the karate? Why mention it at all? Not even once but in detail in multiple posts. Really weird.

Do what most parents do and fire off a quick email that you child will no longer be attending the club but has enjoyed his time there.

iklboo · 21/07/2022 11:41

Then what is the relevance of the karate? Why mention it at all? Not even once but in detail in multiple posts. Really weird.

Not so humble brag.

NerrSnerr · 21/07/2022 11:44

He is 5. Just tell the coach he is leaving. I don't think most sports coaches expect to have the same children from age 4 to their 18th birthdays! The coach will get over it.

If on the absolute off chance you are being serious I'd move karate clubs. Small children should not be taught to use karate against bullies and no serious dojo would encourage this.

Eunorition · 21/07/2022 11:50

The coach will not care. It's a club for five year olds. It's glorified daycare. He won't care about leavers or the naughty kid. Just quit and don't think any more of it.

Quartz2208 · 21/07/2022 11:52

massively overthinking - just say that it no longer works and your son wont be returning

FlipFlops4Me · 21/07/2022 11:52

I don't understand why people are being rude about a young lad's achievements. My son got his junior black belt at 10 - I was very proud. Other kids in his club attained the same grade after the same number of years of training three or four times a week. It reflects their determination and ability to focus, so why are you knocking it?

NameChangeNameShange · 21/07/2022 11:52

This

The coach will not care. It's a club for five year olds. It's glorified daycare. He won't care about leavers or the naughty kid. Just quit and don't think any more of it.

Genuinely at 5 most clubs are a merry go round of leavers and joiners. Leave politely, find another club or another activity. Maybe your 5 year old just really wasn't that into the activity and this is a handy excuse. But know that annoying kid (who probably isn't that annoying he's just - you know - 5) may join that too.