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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband job offer

58 replies

PettyMare · 19/07/2022 20:44

Aibu to not want Husband to take a new job for 4k less than his current job?
He was interviewed for a new role (head hunted so didn't apply as such) salary discussions were around 50k which would be a pay rise, but they've come back today with an offer of 40k with an annual bonus of 5k at the end of the year.

With both our salaries we're comfortable, this was the first year in many where we've had an overseas holiday, but with the cost of living squeeze I just don't think ge should even consider a drop like that. I guess with bonus included, his salary for the year would break even but surely bonuses are extra and not considered part of the basic salary package?

OP posts:
PearPickingPorky · 19/07/2022 20:47

Unless he's desperate to leave his current job, then no way would I move for a headhunted job for a 5k salary drop.

He just needs to say "sorry, no, I can't move jobs for a lower salary in the middle of a cost of living crisis". They might increase their offer (but I'd be pissed off if they did and tried to low-ball him for a role they headhunted him for).

Zone2NorthLondon · 19/07/2022 20:48

Why would you seek to curtail his career development and happiness
if he’s willing to move jobs he’s obviously up for a change, you need to support that. If you’re bothered about the slight salary drop maybe you do some overtime or get a different better paid job. The pack will likely balance out and potentially overall package will increase

TooMinty · 19/07/2022 20:49

I wouldn't count the bonus, it's not guaranteed. Does he really hate his current role? Or is this new job something he has always dreamed of doing? If yes to either of those then maybe you should chat about how to make it work. If it's a similar role for less money then seems daft.

TooMinty · 19/07/2022 20:51

Or if there's something else really good about the new job that would balance it out - e.g. much shorter commute so he can have better work life balance

Original poster
PettyMare · 19/07/2022 20:53

I am in health care, I work full time and have always been the higher wage earner in the family. I don't particularly love my job but recognise i can't just do something else as we have always been dependent on my salary.

OP posts:
Bluevelvetsofa · 19/07/2022 20:55

It would depend on how likely he is to get the proposed bonuses, what career progression is likely and whether he wants to do that job.

Zone2NorthLondon · 19/07/2022 20:57

In healthcare you could work extra agency or bank to make up the £5000 shortfall until he’s established and probably earning more

Butterfly44 · 19/07/2022 20:58

Sometimes it's more than just money. What does it offer for progression, job satisfaction, etc? I dropped 10k for a new job but it was the best decision in hindsight. Better place, prospects and now I'm back up to where I was and due to go higher.

Discovereads · 19/07/2022 21:01

You only mention the money, which is about the same with bonus, a little less without bonus. This means you haven’t said why he is interested in this job? Money is only one factor. Need the rest of the story to give an opinion on BU or not.

Original poster
PettyMare · 19/07/2022 21:12

The role is similar to his current position. He isn't unhappy in his current job and didn't go looking for something new - they approached him via an ex colleague. No career progression as far as we can tell, and no salary progression beyond standard cost of living in the future.

OP posts:
MadameCholetsDirtySecret · 19/07/2022 21:18

Assuming he has been over 2 years in his current role, why would he give up his enhanced employee protection for a job paying less, especially as he isn't unhappy.

IssaBaby · 19/07/2022 21:19

If he looked specifically and there was a chance to climb the ladder then its worth it.

If he was headhunted with no ladder climbing on the horizon...then fck no.

FitAt50 · 19/07/2022 21:20

My husband is a deputy head on £57k a year. Back in January he told me he really hated his job and wanted to leave teaching. I totally supported him and told him we would manage if he left teaching and got a normal job. He leaves on Friday and is new role is a £20k pay drop. I love my husband and want him to be happy. If he is not happy he should take the new job. If he is happy he should stay with his current role.

OooErr · 19/07/2022 21:20

PettyMare · 19/07/2022 21:12

The role is similar to his current position. He isn't unhappy in his current job and didn't go looking for something new - they approached him via an ex colleague. No career progression as far as we can tell, and no salary progression beyond standard cost of living in the future.

So why would he want to take it?
Am I being thick or is there something I’m missing?

OooErr · 19/07/2022 21:20

Also ‘headhunted’ doesn’t meant anything. I’ve also been ‘headhunted’ for positions paying less than half my salary../

Original poster
PettyMare · 19/07/2022 21:23

Zone2NorthLondon · 19/07/2022 20:57

In healthcare you could work extra agency or bank to make up the £5000 shortfall until he’s established and probably earning more

I'm not prepared to do this. I'm full time over 5 days. Tax and pension will significantly reduce my take home pay for any extra hours I work.

OP posts:
SeasonFinale · 19/07/2022 21:25

It is time for him to have a direct discussion with the company. What is likely to happen by way of a raise? Is it phrased this way because other people his level are on that salary and therefore he has to be brought in at that level but it can be adjusted next time there is a raise (hence the bonus).

Bypass the agent and get him to speak to someone at the company and preferably not HR either.

jackstini · 19/07/2022 21:31

He needs to be honest with them
Say he wasn't looking, has no reason to leave his current position and would certainly not look to move into an unknown entity with a salary cut

Does he want to work there, are they particularly top in his field, lots of future prospects, easier commute...?

WinterMusings · 19/07/2022 21:37

He'd be mad to take it.

salary drop
no career progression
similar job

less security.

why is he even considering. If it's his ego due to being 'head hunted' then he needs to drop the ego & open his eyes.

Solasum · 19/07/2022 21:41

He should make a counter offer.

Kite22 · 19/07/2022 21:41

Surely if they came to seek him out, then that means they specifically want him / his skills ? So doesn't that mean he has the upper hand ?

Your situation is entirely different @FitAt50 - your dh hated his job.
OP's husband is quite happy in his. Surely there has to be an incentive to move, and, for me, a pay cut isn't a great incentive. Hmm

maryanne22 · 19/07/2022 21:53

F

Shedcity · 19/07/2022 21:55

Why would he? If it’s almost the same role but less money and he’s not unhappy where he is? What are they offering that’s even making this a consideration
and is that worth a few grand or no?

Zone2NorthLondon · 19/07/2022 22:30

You could earn more,You’re not prepared to. Ok. And you want your DP to decline a post. So far it is all about you, your wants needs,preference. Is there any give to accommodate what he wants? He of course can accept on condition they increase his wage.

OooErr · 19/07/2022 22:36

Zone2NorthLondon · 19/07/2022 22:30

You could earn more,You’re not prepared to. Ok. And you want your DP to decline a post. So far it is all about you, your wants needs,preference. Is there any give to accommodate what he wants? He of course can accept on condition they increase his wage.

Well if they increased his wage there wouldn’t even be a thread, would there? 🙄