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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend's taken baby to the beach today!

258 replies

ItsTheHumidity21 · 19/07/2022 11:58

I just seen my friend post a photo on social media of her and her baby at the beach. AIBU to think she is irresponsible for doing that? She's in a hotter part of the country in the south east. The beach actually looked empty in the background which you would think might have said something to her.

I guess I'm on the other extreme. I'm a worrier about my children (I have a toddler and baby) and we're inside with windows closed, curtains drawn, fans on, ice lollies out and Disney films on. Just makes me anxious and kind of angry that someone could do that to their baby.

OP posts:
Angelinflipflops · 19/07/2022 13:50

I sgree, the name calling is awful

sunglassesonthetable · 19/07/2022 13:50

Tbh I've been on beaches on very hot days on the continent and believe me they have been packed with locals. And small children.

sunglassesonthetable · 19/07/2022 13:52

Right through the middle of the day. Just like the joker British.

Original poster
ItsTheHumidity21 · 19/07/2022 13:52

ThreeLittleDots · 19/07/2022 13:13

On the beach in the shade is likely to be cooler than sitting with curtains drawn

^Seeking shade can reduce UV exposure, but not entirely. That’s because UVB rays, the segment of ultraviolet light most harmful to skin, can strike indirectly, by bouncing off UV-reflective surfaces such as sand...

The degree of protection in a shady area varies with the nature of the materials or structures providing the shade, and with the degree of cloud cover. Beach umbrellas, for example, may be less helpful than one might think. Even if the umbrella is made of a high-SPF (sun protection factor) fabric, UV rays can reflect off sand and water at low angles to reach the area under the umbrella.

A 2003 study found that the amount of UV light reaching someone under an umbrella can be up to 84 percent of the level in the full sun^

blog.dana-farber.org/insight/2018/05/staying-shade-prevent-sunburn/

@ThreeLittleDots yes, I have read something similar to this.

I am cautious about my children's exposure to high uv levels on exceptionally hot, sunny days like today. Keeping my children inside during the hottest part of the day with curtains/windows closed (to stop hot air coming in) and letting them watch a film with an ice lolly seems to make me an awful parent on mumsnet. Oh well, I guess I asked for it posting in the first place.

OP posts:
Dozycuntlaters · 19/07/2022 13:53

@Viviennemary
In the hottest psrt of Greece babies are kept indoors most of the time during a heatwave Yes but the temps here is not a heatwave according to Greece is it, just normal summer weather.

The judginess of this thread is astounding. Presumably OP you don't have the balls to say anything to your "friend" about it, would rather just gossip about her anonymously. If you want to stay in with closed curtains hiding from the sun then that's totally your right but your "friend is not doing anything wrong by taking her baby to the beach where there will be a breeze, she can cool her off in the sea and she will I am sure be wearing adequate sun clothing/hat/suncream.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 19/07/2022 13:53

WillMcAvoy · 19/07/2022 12:45

yes, in Med countries people stay inside all day and never see the sun. WTF are you talking about? What rot!

Show quote history

Who said that? I didn't.

FrancescaContini · 19/07/2022 13:53

Your friend is absolutely bonkers.

TheDogsMother · 19/07/2022 13:54

You guys do know it's not 40 degrees on the coast, right? 🙄

Not everywhere. I'm 15 miles inland from the coast and its 34 degrees here currently, that coast is currently 30 and has lovely sea breezes. Also being able to paddle about is really cooling.

Tigofigo · 19/07/2022 13:54

It might be cooler on South coast, but on the North Norfolk coast it's 37 degrees and Margate 34, so depends what you call south east.

sunglassesonthetable · 19/07/2022 13:54

I am cautious about my children's exposure to high uv levels on exceptionally hot, sunny days like today. Keeping my children inside during the hottest part of the day with curtains/windows closed (to stop hot air coming in) and letting them watch a film with an ice lolly seems to make me an awful parent on mumsnet. Oh well, I guess I asked for it posting in the first place.

Don't think that makes you a bad parent.

But judging your friend on the basis of one picture seems to be the problem.

Original poster
ItsTheHumidity21 · 19/07/2022 13:55

phishy · 19/07/2022 13:48

But you also don't say 'please don't call my friend a fucking idiot.' You are lapping it up.

Show quote history

@phishy I didn't actually see the comment of whoever said that. That is out of order.

OP posts:
Roselilly36 · 19/07/2022 13:56

Yes UV will be high, the coastal breeze catches a lot of people out, that end up very badly sunburned. Babies can’t regulate their temperature. The heat is so intense, the shade isn’t offering any relief at all. Risk of heatstroke. Dehydration. Very young babies skin should not be exposed to the sun, at all. Very foolish.

creekal · 19/07/2022 13:56

When it’s 38 degrees in other countries people do stay indoors actually. The UK looks like a land of idiots, again.

In hot countries where it often reaches 38, do people stay indoors EVERY day? No, they go out, although yes, sometimes choose to stay in. A one off beach trip if fine🙄

creekal · 19/07/2022 13:57

There is a novelty to hot weather here. In hot countries people may stay in because they can see it anyway. Doesn't mean they lock themselves in the dark, placating their kids with ice lollies for eternity.

ThreeLittleDots · 19/07/2022 14:01

Keeping my children inside during the hottest part of the day with curtains/windows closed (to stop hot air coming in) and letting them watch a film with an ice lolly seems to make me an awful parent on mumsnet

Only ignorant people would attack your choice. You're absolutely doing the safest thing.

Herejustforthisone · 19/07/2022 14:04

I’m in the same area. It’s hot as fuck but there’s quite a stiff breeze on the shore. With shade, sunscreen, plenty of hydration and that breeze, it’s probably a pretty great place to be. And definitely no different to taking a kid to a beach on holiday in a hot clime…

So, s’not your business. Enjoy your day inside.

Tubs11 · 19/07/2022 14:05

The funny thing is that neither the op nor her friend are wrong when it comes to finding ways to keep their kids cool. What's wrong here is the name calling and unnecessary judgement. Yes, people don't take the necessary precautions when out and about in extreme heat and that can be dangerous BUT most parents of young children make sensible decisions when it comes to keeping their children cool and safe

HouseInTheHills · 19/07/2022 14:05

I couldn’t think of anything worse but I hate hot weather. Leave her to it, the baby will likely be fine, most parents do a decent enough job to keep their kids safe, even if it isn’t what we would do.

I do/have done things that other parents think are terrible on here, like too much screen time, giving them pop, not giving them covid vaccine, late bedtimes sometimes. You can’t interfere really.

minou123 · 19/07/2022 14:06

ItsTheHumidity21 · 19/07/2022 13:52

@ThreeLittleDots yes, I have read something similar to this.

I am cautious about my children's exposure to high uv levels on exceptionally hot, sunny days like today. Keeping my children inside during the hottest part of the day with curtains/windows closed (to stop hot air coming in) and letting them watch a film with an ice lolly seems to make me an awful parent on mumsnet. Oh well, I guess I asked for it posting in the first place.

Show quote history

But you don't know that's what your friend has done. For all you know she was at the beach in the morning and has come home, for the hottest part of the day.

You've left out, or dont know, important details of what your friend has done.
You've riled up posters, who have then jumped to judgement (some have called her awful names)
If you drip feed that she is still at the beach, I don't think I'll believe you.

No-one has called you an awful parent.
Some posters have said they could just as easily judge you for the decisions you make. It's not nice, is it?

gogohmm · 19/07/2022 14:07

Mine loved in the USA at that age. It was hotter than these temperatures for months. People do need to get a grip. It's hot for the U.K. but humans cope with far hotter

sunglassesonthetable · 19/07/2022 14:10

The funny thing is that neither the op nor her friend are wrong when it comes to finding ways to keep their kids cool. What's wrong here is the name calling and unnecessary judgement. Yes, people don't take the necessary precautions when out and about in extreme heat and that can be dangerous BUT most parents of young children make sensible decisions when it comes to keeping their children cool and safe
👆 yes

When it’s 38 degrees in other countries people do stay indoors actually. The UK looks like a land of idiots, again.

You know folk in hot countries spend the day at the beach too sometimes. Even on the hottest days. Ever been to the beach on a Sunday in Greece?

lavenderfine · 19/07/2022 14:11

I'm outside in the garden with my 5 month old, she's asleep in her pram under a gazebo in the shade with a damp muslin cover on her and a pram fan attached. We've been out both days because DS 3 has been splashing in a paddling pool, neither of them have been exposed to direct sunlight basically at all, both slathered in suncream and cooler out here in the breeze and in the water than they would be inside. If the baby is in a beach tent in the shade I don't really see the difference, I wouldn't do it simply because I wouldn't be able to shade myself properly, but if she has shade for the baby I don't see the difference in keeping her indoors tbh

Hardbackwriter · 19/07/2022 14:12

I am cautious about my children's exposure to high uv levels on exceptionally hot, sunny days like today. Keeping my children inside during the hottest part of the day with curtains/windows closed (to stop hot air coming in) and letting them watch a film with an ice lolly seems to make me an awful parent on mumsnet. Oh well, I guess I asked for it posting in the first place.

I don't have the slightest problem with your choices today (but I don't with your friend's either) but I do think that you have to expect some criticism in return when you start a thread just to snipe at someone else's parenting.

My main objection to your post is the way that you present being 'anxious' and 'a worrier' as if it's a mark of your excellence as a parent - I see this all over MN and I think it's a really toxic message. Children do not benefit from anxious parents.

Duttercup · 19/07/2022 14:14

seems to make me an awful parent on mumsnet. Oh well, I guess I asked for it posting in the first place.

Well, you literally posted this in the hope that people would come and call your 'friend' an awful mum so...🤷

butterflied · 19/07/2022 14:15

This is Covid 2020 thread redux.