Sending covid positive children to me

[SammySueTwo]

More is ExH being U.

Children stay with each parent on set days of the week. 2 of 4 have tested positive whilst staying with their dad.
Given I am CEV I asked if days could be swapped so the children come to me after 5 days - ExH said I was being unreasonable and he will be bringing the children over as no legal requirement to isolate. He is right on that point.
I am still concerned. I will eventually catch covid but this feels like an unnecessary risk.

I don't know, really.

Can he easily keep them with him, or does he have to work etc?

Both WFH. They are teens.

I think yabu

Sorry also think yabu, what would you have done if they had tested positive while with you? How old as teens? Old enough to manage at home without you?

I think that as you're CEV, he's being totally unreasonable and I'm not surprised you're upset.

Could you isolate them in their rooms for a few days as they get back? DH is CEV so when I got covid earlier this month I isolated in our bedroom for 10 days and he didn't pick it up.

YABU, even at the height of the pandemic children could move freely between parental households. If you and their father were together you’d have no option

That’s pretty mean of him. How often does he ask for favours?

He’s being a prick.

whilst people can not isolate and while children have always been allowed to move between houses when positive it doesn’t mean they should - especially when there’s a CEV parent involved.

Sadly it’s a story I’ve heard several times. Just do your best to keep yourself safe from them. As they are teens, if they’re well in themselves, have then be as self sufficient as possible.

YANBU - I think that many people forget how truly vulnerable some people are. For some people it really is risking their life - and if you haven't got to, why should you? Your ex is a selfish idiot.

But they’re not together so that’s a stupid comparison.

Yabu

Yanbu. Good luck to him explaining why their mother is dead because he couldn't rearrange childcare for a few days.

Only a very few conditions now qualify some as CEV - are you actually CEV, or just CV? A lot of people are claiming they are CEV based on very out of date early guidance, but who wouldn't now be considered CEV. Have you been fully vaccinated? If so this should reduce your risk considerably.

If they're teens then I think YABU. They can easily isolate from you and don't need hands on care.

Actually, my CEV friend moved out when one of her children had it. She knows she probably won't beat the cancer anyway, but wants to be around for her children for as long as possible.

www.gov.uk/government/publications/guidance-on-shielding-and-protecting-extremely-vulnerable-persons-from-covid-19/guidance-on-shielding-and-protecting-extremely-vulnerable-persons-from-covid-19 hopefully this will give you some reassurance

YANBU. He may not be under any legal obligation, but I think if he had any human decency and the wherewithal to do so, he would keep the DC with him, given that you are CEV.

Current guidance:www.nhs.uk/conditions/coronavirus-covid-19/people-at-higher-risk/who-is-at-high-risk-from-coronavirus/

He's being extremely selfish imo. I understand why your worried OP but if its any reassurance when my 2 children had it in Oct I didn't catch it despite not isolating.

I did have it in March and was OK despite being vulnerable. Floored for a couple of days but OK. When DH had it just a couple of weeks ago I didn't get a positive test but was unwell for a few days and a nurse who saw me for something else said she suspected I did have it despite the negative test and again I was OK.

The decent thing to do would be for him to help protect you. People have forgotten how to be decent human beings and consider others x

I wrote despite far too many times in that paragraph!

If they're teens, they don't need childcare so I think he is being unreasonable - unless he's not going to be around. Even if my ex wasn't CEV or even CV, I'd like to think I wouldn't send our children to them to risk passing it on. Just seems courteous really.

Good point - I'm immune suppressed due to medication so I don't know what that actually means now. I am eligible for anti-virals or was - as I believe they are giving up on those. Pre 2020 I was advised to avoid illness as much as possible and contact the GP if I had been in contact with things like chicken pox and with the slightest sign of an infection.

I'm definitely on that list for 2 reasons.

Have you been invited for a fourth vaccination? If so you are CEV or over 75!