Sending covid positive children to me

[SammySueTwo]

More is ExH being U.

Children stay with each parent on set days of the week. 2 of 4 have tested positive whilst staying with their dad.
Given I am CEV I asked if days could be swapped so the children come to me after 5 days - ExH said I was being unreasonable and he will be bringing the children over as no legal requirement to isolate. He is right on that point.
I am still concerned. I will eventually catch covid but this feels like an unnecessary risk.

Christ, does it matter!

I don't think you are being unreasonable. We had an agreement that if anyone in any household tested positive DSDs would stay where they are to prevent unnecessary transmission. It seems like a no-brainer to me and none of us are vulnerable. Why spread covid between houses when you don't need to?

If you and their father were together you’d have no option

But they are not together so there is an option.

Some lovely emotional blackmail there!

If it makes you feel any better my parents are CEV. My dad has emphysema (probably more like pulmonary fibrosis) and my mum takes steroids for a rare auto immune condition. Both caught covid and were ok.

Vaccinations make very little difference to many people who are cev, particularly those with a blood cancer. There are those of us who have had 5 vaccinations and still not acquired any antibodies.

Just say no.

Good God, honestly, some people are really quite thick.

YANBU @SammySueTwo I think people replying here might be missing the fact that you are clinically extremely vulnerable.
I know people who are generally not vulnerable at all, are careful, fully vaccinated who were very ill recently with Covid. Not hospitalised, but very unwell. It is outrageous to knowingly put you in harm’s way like this, especially given that the healthcare system is on it’s knees.
The minimum legal requirement is not what you or your ex should go by, you should go by how comfortable anyone in this situation would feel if you got extremely ill in this situation, because it’s more than possible. It’s unfair to you, but also DC who would have to carry the guilt of infecting you if you did get sick.

When did they get it?

Dramatic much. As teenagers they can take sensible precautions in the house to lessen the risk.

But they aren’t together so your point is irrelevant.

what if OP gets it and is poorly for a couple of weeks and unable to look after them? It could easily be prevented

They’re not missing it. They’re actively downplaying it and in some cases deliberately questioning it.

To the people voting YABU, think about it this person is vulnerable. Yes legally there are no restrictions and the person who posted could catch it just by going to a local shop etc but there are people who are still very vulnerable to covid and it's not a good decision for them to be near positive people. Have some empathy for others.

I agree with you OP. I don't really see why everyone always thinks this is unreasonable when it comes up, especially if the children are teens so probably don't even need that much input from their dad to stay a few extra days.

I think it makes complete sense to confine covid to one household where possible.

You're probably right, I was opting for less depressing interpretation of the responses. If people truly understand that OP is clinically extremely vulnerable, and what that means, then I think it is immoral and appalling to suggest taking covid positive children, who could stay elsewhere, into their home is the right thing to do.This attitude is borderline eugenic, and ableist and while it is often too common on MN, I hope anyone clinically vulnerable reading this thread knows that there are plenty of us who think their safety is worth any inconvenience to people lucky enough to not have to worry it.

Op if you are immune compromised then you are at the highest risk of any CEV person. Make sure you have an anti viral PCR kit. They are still using anti vitals if you test positive. And stand firm with your ex tbf as teen I would tell them directly to stay at their dads.

It’s a very common attitude amongst many on MN.

There are many wonderful people who do care about others, but there are also a good number of incredibly selfish people who think that those who are CEV don’t matter.

I had a thread a while back about someone knowingly and deliberately exposing my CEV DD to chicken pox. The number of people who clearly would have done similar if it’s suited them and their children was very telling about the ableist attitudes of many.

Thank you for the replies. In the end I compromised and only had those that had tested positive more than 5 days ago. I did say no - but Ex-H is so patronising and difficult that I had to give in.
Having immune issues is an absolute pain and very lonely. I haven't been to a pub/party/indoors with more than one friend in years now. It's not a case of playing the martyr.

My husband is CEV and when my teenager caught covid we isolated her in her room. Brought up meals, drinks ect. There was wipes in the bathroom for her to wipe over surfaces after use. None of us caught it from her.

Completely unreasonable of him to say no. Long covid is awful and you don't want to risk catching it and dying if you don't have to. He's a dick.

Yes. It's awful! More othering of those who aren't 100% healthy.

Please don't assume that being triple vaccinated will help much. Me and my two daughters have recently tested positive, despite taking precautions, and this latest variant has knocked us for six. In fact everyone I know who has caught it recently has had it bad, despite being fully vaccinated.