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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Am I a bad mum?

32 replies

Sallycorriander · 18/07/2022 21:36

Because I haven't let my dc out in the garden in paddling pools tonight? Every person I know on social media seems to have been straight in the pool after school but to my knowledge the advice was to try and stay out of the sun if possible. Dc were knackered after school and for once I was actually happy for them to sit in a dark room and look at screens. Also have a small baby and absolutely could not be bothered to sit out in the sweltering heat with her too. It's been a really long, boring, sweaty day for us but it seems like everyone else has been enjoying it...

OP posts:

Somethingsnappy · 18/07/2022 21:40

You're not a bad mum, but neither are they. Playing in water in the shade is one way of keeping cool. As is staying indoors.

TweeBee · 18/07/2022 21:40

You did what you thought was best and your DC were happy, nothing wrong with that.
My two went in paddling pool in the shade after school to cool down, I got fed up of them being loud and not listening to me and shouted so I certainly wasn't enjoying it!

AnneLovesGilbert · 18/07/2022 21:43

We don’t have a paddling pool. DD turned watering the garden into a hilarious game so I’m not feeling bad. If we didn’t have a garden, as millions of people don’t and we didn’t before, I wouldn’t feel bad. Everyone’s doing their best.

Original poster

Sallycorriander · 18/07/2022 21:43

I suppose I feel guilty because I just could not be bothered with filling the pool and emptying the pool and cleaning up grass. This heat has absolutely done me in today. The baby has been irritable all day and I haven't been able to go anywhere with her, I can't wait for it to pass. So probably feel a bit bad that others have been having so much fun 🙈

OP posts:

TeapotTitties · 18/07/2022 21:43

Oh come on OP really? 🙄

CanaryShoulderedThorn · 18/07/2022 21:48

Step away from social media, it's not real.

neverbeenskiing · 18/07/2022 21:48

You're being very hard on yourself! You have a small baby and other DC to look after, no wonder you weren't up for blowing up a paddling pool and faffing around in the sweltering heat at the end of a long day. If it makes you feel any better my DC weren't out in the paddling pool either. They came home knackered and irritable, I could tell they needed downtime so they watched a film, had tea and then had a cool bath before bed. Definitely not social media worthy but they're safe and happy so who cares?

coffeecupsandfairylights · 18/07/2022 21:48

No, but neither are they for letting their kids play in the pool 🤷🏻‍♀️

Bethany7 · 18/07/2022 21:50

I did exact same as you O.P! Everything is exhausting in this heat and my chn were so grumpy when I collected them and I felt they needed quiet screen time.

Glitterblue · 19/07/2022 03:53

Mine was texting me on the way home saying she was going to die of heatstroke (it's a 30 minute walk) so she was inside all evening and had a cool bath.

PeanutButterOnToad · 19/07/2022 04:01

You guys are not used to this heat and housing reflects that. Do whatever works for you and your family to keep cool and safe, whatever choice you make you are not a bad mum. The people posting all the fun videos won’t be posting the clear up after when they are knackered too.

LiquidLuck · 19/07/2022 06:14

It was still 37 degrees at 6pm here and 34 at 9pm so very location specific. No way I’d be doing that.

TinaTubster · 19/07/2022 06:18

Nothing wrong with paddling pools in heat. This is what goes on in the Ozzie summer all summer. Without being rude if you spent less time looking at paddling pools on social media then maybe you would have more time to set up the paddling pool and “clean the grass” (of water?)

TinaTubster · 19/07/2022 06:19

@PeanutButterOnToad

What clear up? What am I missing? You just dump the water out and deinflate the pool, it’s not hard. What is there to clear up? Water on the grass?

Speedweed · 19/07/2022 06:43

Yes, you're a terrible mother. It always starts with not being bothered to sort out a paddling pool, and from there it's a steady downward slope to the day you find yourself in the public gallery watching your adult children receive whole life sentences for the torture and murder of some helpless creature. All avoidable, if only you'd been a good mother and provided a paddling pool.

Today, you know you face a serious choice - between setting up the paddling pool, and calling social services to take them into care.

Choose wisely, OP.

LiquidLuck · 19/07/2022 06:44

BTW there are water shortages so not really that ‘cool’ to be posting pictures on social of filling a padding pool.

AtrociousCircumstance · 19/07/2022 06:48

Look at it like this: you can either be completely compliant and spoon fed and capitulated and let what you see on social media determine how you experience your life, and how much pressure you put on yourself. Or you can make your own decisions and live your life according to your own judgement and wishes.

You made a decision. It was a perfectly
good one. Stop hand wringing about what you’re seeing ‘everyone else’ do. You’re good

CoffeeLover90 · 19/07/2022 06:52

Sallycorriander · 18/07/2022 21:43

This made me so sad for you. Please don't feel bad. Some of us don't cope with the heat well at all. I can only imagine how hard it must be, running round after kids and a newborn. My 3 YO DS stayed in most of the day yesterday. I didn't fill his sand pit or his pool, I didn't want to encourage him to stay out long. He had plenty other things to play with but after less than an hour he went inside and asked for duggee and juice (thank god cos I was dying) I could hear kids playing out all day up until about 8pm. Good for them, but we are ginger and we've had enough.

TessBeth · 19/07/2022 06:58

Oh come on.

You know this doesn’t make you a bad parent. Other people letting their kids play in paddling pools aren’t bad parents.

if something this minor makes you think you are a bad parent, you should probably look into getting some professional help.

Mally100 · 19/07/2022 07:04

Step away from SM and use your own common sense when making judgements.

Louise0701 · 19/07/2022 07:06

@CanaryShoulderedThorn children playing in a paddling pool isn’t really? Oh come on now.

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 19/07/2022 07:09

I didn't let my toddler out yesterday. It was too hot. Went to air conditioned soft play then air conditioned supermarket then played inside. He kept asking but I said no

Also 32 weeks pregnant and not coping with the heat!

lollipoprainbow · 19/07/2022 07:13

We don't have a garden at all just a stifling flat, that makes me feel guilty.

SD1978 · 19/07/2022 07:30

Nope, but neither are they. We had a splash around, had it set up,under the gazebo. Kids had a blast. You didn't want to, didn't, and sat in the house. Your choice, and doesn't mean the families who did set it up are wrong. The advise not to go out wasn't really for the garden, but 'out out'.

CheeseandBeetrootSandwiches · 19/07/2022 07:45

We have stayed indoors. But today I'm running a few errands very early this morning...After that, I'm staying indoors again. DD has school this morning but is coming home at lunchtime and will probably stay in too.

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