Am I a bad mum?

[Sallycorriander]

Because I haven't let my dc out in the garden in paddling pools tonight? Every person I know on social media seems to have been straight in the pool after school but to my knowledge the advice was to try and stay out of the sun if possible. Dc were knackered after school and for once I was actually happy for them to sit in a dark room and look at screens. Also have a small baby and absolutely could not be bothered to sit out in the sweltering heat with her too. It's been a really long, boring, sweaty day for us but it seems like everyone else has been enjoying it...

Thank you all. Obviously I realise that choosing not to set up a paddling pool on one occasion doesn't make me a bad parent, that was a bit melodramatic. I think I'm just feeling all of the mum guilt lately due to having a newborn and not being able to do as much as I'm used to for older dc. Yesterday it was mostly a case of not being bothered if I'm being totally truthful. I didn't want to blow up the paddling pool or sit outside in the baking heat supervising. I just didn't. And that's the feeling that makes me feel shit. Especially when you see everyone else's kids having a whale of a time. But you're right, social media isn't real life and I shouldn't let it determine my own choices.

You made the right choice and you are allowed to prioritise your needs sometimes OP! Especially in extreme heat. With a toddler and a newborn the pressure on you is immense so don’t Betsy’s yourself for opportunities to make your life easier - seek them out whenever you can.

Lol berate yourself…not sure who Betsy is!

Do what you know to be best for your children. Prioritise your children. If you learn different, do different.

Forget everyone else. Assess what they do, use what you like, lose what you don't.

You're not a bad parent. You're a learning parent, just like we all are.

Protip: Prioritise your child in every situation, respond to your child in every situation, and all will become clear.

I think you might have to apply a bit of lateral thinking Louise.
Obviously the photos are real, in the sense that the kids were in the pool, but that only gives the OP a tiny snapshot of their lives.
The same DC might be fed crap for dinner every night, might have witnessed adults having a row earlier, might have awful parents who treat them poorly.
What I'm trying to say, and what I'm sure most posters understood, is that the OP shouldn't judge her skills as a mother against social media posts.

Glad you are having a better day OP. 😊

@CanaryShoulderedThorn perhaps. There are also those of us who are capable of allowing children to enjoy nice weather in their gardens and also proving a good meal and stable home life. It’s not a huge reach.
To insinuate that “it’s for social media” it’s laughable. It’s children in a paddling pool, they’re not sky planing to an island in the Maldives for a month.