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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Teacher telling dd5 not to come to school

46 replies

ponyclub1980 · 18/07/2022 21:32

So school in West Midlands sent a letter out last week to parents to school is optional for the 2 day heatwave. They reassured in the letter to if they had to go they would just be putting a film on & supplying ice lollies. We had no choice but to send dd5 as we both have work & she's never really suffered with the heat so have no real concerns. Today she has come out of school saying her teacher has said they should stay at home tomorrow with their grown up as it is going to be hotter than today and school will be really boring as they're not allowed outside. I know this has come from the teacher as my daughter doesn't use the words she has come out with & other parents have said their child has said the same. Aibu to be really annoyed about this? It's as though the teacher has tried to manipulate 4 & 5 year olds to stay at home. My dd5 has gone to bed in tears as I've had to tell her she has to go.

OP posts:

safetylastday · 18/07/2022 21:34

Well you don’t know what was actually said do you…

How successful do you think the teacher thought they’d be in this endeavour because she surely knows parents work and therefore can’t just keep their kids at home for fun

kitcat15 · 18/07/2022 21:37

I expect something has got lost in translation here …..the teacher will be well aware that parents work….I don’t think you can rely on an accurate account of the discussion from your 5 year old

Sally872 · 18/07/2022 21:38

Teacher may have explained why it was ice lollies and movies, or why class mates off rather than saying it to encourage dd to stay off. Without the context i would gove benefit of the doubt.

AlohaMolly · 18/07/2022 21:39

I work in a school and I can think of at least two teachers that would say versions of the above!

luxxlisbon · 18/07/2022 21:43

I honestly doubly a teacher tried to manipulate 4 and 5 year olds. I really wouldn’t take a 5 year olds interpretation as gospel.
It could easily be that another kid was told they were allowed to stay home and your DD is reciting that info.
The teacher has no idea who will be in tomorrow, they will have to go in anyway so it really doesn’t make much difference how many kids will stay home.

Topgub · 18/07/2022 21:45

Yanbu

Can you phone the school tom to discuss?

buckeejit · 18/07/2022 21:49

Yanbu - near Christmas during covid when schools were back, my dad teacher said 'who thinks they'll be allowed to stay home tomorrow?' And asked the children to raise their hands

Obv she was concerned about catching it & ruining her break but she really pressured the children

itrytomakemyway · 18/07/2022 21:49

If I had 30 plus overheated kids in a tiny, poorly ventilated classroom I would be encouraging all those who could do so to stay at home as well.

Go ahead. Complain to the school. Make that poor teacher's miserable end to the school year even more miserable.

peppapigisanob · 18/07/2022 22:06

I doubt what your daughter said is 100% accurate, but even so I couldn't get even the slightest bit pissed off with this.

I wouldn't dream of calling the school to 'discuss'

Discuss what? That she told the kids it would be better for them to stay at home tomorrow. (Well.. she's right.)
She knows not everyone can just get off work and get child care. This is absolutely not the hill I'd choose to die on.

Topgub · 18/07/2022 22:12

@peppapigisanob

To discuss why a teacher thought it was appropriate to tell a 5 yo they shouldn't be at school

If they know not everyone just take the day off then why say anything, even if it was appropriate to do (it's not)

MajorCarolDanvers · 18/07/2022 22:24

You can't really on a 5 year old to accurately relay that kind of message.

Check with the teacher about what was actually said.

gogohmm · 18/07/2022 22:29

@peppapigisanob

Parents need to work, families can be complicated, it's simply not appropriate to mention staying at home to a child.

I would have sent mine in (they are adults) and they turned up walking through snow every winter unless the school fully closed. We had temps over 30, they went to school

Holly60 · 18/07/2022 22:37

buckeejit · 18/07/2022 21:49

Yanbu - near Christmas during covid when schools were back, my dad teacher said 'who thinks they'll be allowed to stay home tomorrow?' And asked the children to raise their hands

Obv she was concerned about catching it & ruining her break but she really pressured the children

Actually she wanted to know how many kids were likely to be in the next day so she could work out what activities/resources she would need.

TheOrigRights · 18/07/2022 22:37

itrytomakemyway · 18/07/2022 21:49

If I had 30 plus overheated kids in a tiny, poorly ventilated classroom I would be encouraging all those who could do so to stay at home as well.

Go ahead. Complain to the school. Make that poor teacher's miserable end to the school year even more miserable.

Even 5 year olds? Too young to really understand why their mate can stay home but they can't?
Honestly, working parents feel shitty enough as it is about not being a present parent at school. The last thing they need is for their class teacher to reinforce it.
An email from the teacher or the head would be better.

HarrietSchulenberg · 18/07/2022 22:39

30 4-5yos cooped up indoors must have been a horrible day for all concerned. It's quite possible that the teacher did say something like this to the class, especially if they were getting restless. Can't say I'd blame her.

Wheelz46 · 18/07/2022 22:40

Perhaps the children who were there asked where all the other children were and teacher explained why they weren't there. The children in school may have misunderstood what the teacher was saying.

Topgub · 18/07/2022 22:41

Why does everyone keep saying 30 kids cooped up in these threads like every clas has 30 kids and every classroom is a tiny oven?

Not every class has 30 at its max and lots won't be in

maddiemookins16mum · 18/07/2022 22:41

With things like this there’ll be three versions, what your DD thinks/heard, what the teacher said/suggested and the truth.

OrOrchids · 18/07/2022 22:41

YANBU, it is manipulative, not a good look for a teacher. The school will have communicated expectations to families, no need for select work shy teachers to be putting ideas in their heads. Not a good look.

Tell your dc that sometimes you ahem to do something you don't want but that when she gets home she gets to have ice lollies and paddling pools.

Merryoldgoat · 18/07/2022 22:44

AlohaMolly · 18/07/2022 21:39

I work in a school and I can think of at least two teachers that would say versions of the above!

Me too - why do so many people act like teachers are never wrong or unthinking?

Tohaveandtohold · 18/07/2022 22:48

School in the midlands and my child is 9 and has said something similar. She definitely didn’t make it up.
The school has said school was optional and it’s up to parents and there was 8 children in her class today however at 10, the school was already sending emails telling parents to come and take their kids if they can be cared for at home. Around 11, they sent another email saying the after school club is closed and around 1, they sent another email saying the children are safer at home and it’s preferable for parents to keep their children at home tomorrow.
If the school can send 3 emails to parents, I have no reason than to believe that the teacher said that.

Topgub · 18/07/2022 22:50

@Tohaveandtohold

What was the temp where you are today?

Why would children be safer at home?

KilmordenCastle · 18/07/2022 22:53

Topgub · 18/07/2022 21:45

Yanbu

Can you phone the school tom to discuss?

To discuss what?

Do people actually harass their dc's schools about shit like this? It's such a non event, nothing more than an eye roll is necessary. God I would hate to be a teacher.

tacoxx · 18/07/2022 22:56

My kids were at school today and it was 38 here. They both said they had a brilliant day, made smoothies and did coding and lots of fun stuff! Did pick them up at 2 though Think that sounds a bit shit tbh and id be annoyed too

Original poster

ponyclub1980 · 18/07/2022 22:56

Just to clarify a few points I'm confident the word boring was used as other children have told their parents the same term. And grown up is not a term my dd would use but one I know the teacher uses so I'm confident she hasn't twisted the words.

For those saying there were 30 in today there were 18 & the classroom is in the shade with a canopy out front my dd said she was actually quite cool in there.

@TheOrigRights couldn't have said it better the mom guilt for a working parent is bad enough without dealing with the tears I've had tonight because the teachers mis sold her the dream!

OP posts:

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