Eating the leftovers

[Spudlover]

I’m fully prepared to be told I’m a controlling weirdo.

We had people over yesterday, did a BBQ and have lots of salad and rolls left, a couple chicken breasts etc.

DH decided for lunch that he was going to open a new loaf of bread and a tin of mackerel and have mackerel on toast.

I asked him if he could wait until tomorrow for that and help me eat the leftovers so I wasn’t eating it alone for days and it gets used, I can’t bear food waste.

He didn’t want to, sulked a bit before saying fine, I’ll just eat what you want me to eat. I’m ultra mean now apparently because I pointed out I think of food from an entire household perspective and he only thinks about what he wants to shovel in his gob at any given point.

AIBU?

I’m lucky, my husband is a human dustbin. He will eat practically anything put in front of him and be thankful for it.

Who do you think is going to do it then? The husbands who eat whatever they want without a second thought to what needs eating first?

My whole post was about women NOT martyring themselves to do all this shit so it’s a fair assumption that women shouldn’t be responsible for it.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Given that the OP and subsequent posters were talking about how they seem to be the only ones in the house who take responsibility for minimising food waste, and in OP’s case for generally buying and sorting the food, I cannot see how these men are going to suddenly step up and start freezing bananas if the woman doesn’t eat them.

I agree they should. But realistically they won’t. And I don’t think it’s fair to blame women/call them martyrs for the fact that they pick up the slack. Women aren’t to blame for men being lazy.

Yes YABU

I won't be told what I can and can't eat. However, I abhor food waste and don't consider myself so important that I get to eat whatever I like whilst other people deal with the scraps, so I wouldn't need to be told in the first place. YANBU.

@Spudlover i don't blame you for asking him to use the fresh food first. Tins can be kept for ages. HE was the one who created 'excess food' & said 'it'll all get eaten' so why can't he take his share of eating it?

I wouldn't like to be told what to eat, but I'm not a stupid selfish idiot & would use the food that's going to past it's best first!

Ask him how he thinks 'it'll all get eaten' if he's not eating it.

@darlingdodo

I agree with you op, hate food waste, and it's always women, the mothers, wives, partners who end up eating the banana that's going black, the dregs of the cereal packet, the broken biscuits, because the other feckers in the family open the new packet before the older stuff is finished.

No one is forcing the women to eat food they don't want to. They are welcome to throw it out.

And more to the point, if they had eaten it sooner, it wouldn't be black or rotten.

Where did you buy this magical chicken which can feed more than one person for FOUR DAYS!?

@Snoozer11 the ubiquitous literally the max if Mumsnet chicken.

It was an Aldi extra large one, there is only me and dh and I am having afternoon tea tomorrow so won't have much. So not magic at all.

So you'd just throw it away then? That's a great attitude - not.

Eating food that isn’t nice to eat is no one’s job. If you’re regularly getting black bananas and you don’t use them in some way, buy fewer bananas?

I don't care what my DH eats. It's up to him.

I think there has to be some give and take. If I make something I know DH doesn't like as much as I do, I expect to handle the leftovers myself (including freezing them, when possible), and he'll use up anything he cooks that I don't like.

But if there's another meal or two of leftovers of something we both eat, I'd be annoyed if he refused to join me in using them up. Exceptions made in the case of someone feeling ill and needing to eat something different, but if they regularly just fancy other food and leave me to eat the same leftovers for days, I'd find that annoying. I like leftovers, but some things do get dull after the second or third time.

I'd change how much I prepared, if it was happening too often, or just tell him, "We're having X tonight" (rather than asking or giving him a chance to come up with something else he wants to eat instead), possibly changing it or augmenting it slightly to make it feel like a different dish.

I’m intrigued by how many of the posters on this thread appear to be the sole provider of household food. DH and I both shop and cook. He more than me. Are we really that unusual? Most of the couples I know share cooking to some extent.

We plan evening meals together. I cook more because I like cooking more. Lunches are sorted separately. We add what we want to the list and it gets delivered, or bought by whoever has more time.

To be honest, it's better the food from the bbq is used up first.

Not unusual at all, we're exactly the same!

Food waste is wrong and unethical. Some people are too selfish though to see it and cry 'controlling'.

Nailed it! And at least 80% of the relationship threads with it.

I hate food waste and have three young kids. Sometimes all I want is a meal with proper boundaries, instead of one padded out with half a box of raisins, a sweaty babybel and the tired bit of a banana.

It never seems to enter my husband's mind - all excess straight in the bin. I almost envy him the obliviousness.

I agree that wasting food is wrong. Adults should make their own choices not to waste food rather than policing what other grown ups are eating.

But then would the best way to prevent that type of food waste not be to sit down together and do some meal planning and then buy less food? If you’re regularly forcing yourself to eat raising and baby bel that you don’t want, maybe time to cut back on buying those products rather than sit eating them and feeling resentful.

Some adults need policing.

Some adults need policing.

I wouldn’t be in a relationship with someone who policed what I was eating. I also wouldn’t be in a relationship with someone who wouldn’t be involved with meal planning and cooking though.