Eating the leftovers

[Spudlover]

I’m fully prepared to be told I’m a controlling weirdo.

We had people over yesterday, did a BBQ and have lots of salad and rolls left, a couple chicken breasts etc.

DH decided for lunch that he was going to open a new loaf of bread and a tin of mackerel and have mackerel on toast.

I asked him if he could wait until tomorrow for that and help me eat the leftovers so I wasn’t eating it alone for days and it gets used, I can’t bear food waste.

He didn’t want to, sulked a bit before saying fine, I’ll just eat what you want me to eat. I’m ultra mean now apparently because I pointed out I think of food from an entire household perspective and he only thinks about what he wants to shovel in his gob at any given point.

AIBU?

So you think the food might cause vomiting but you're perfectly happy for your family to eat it?

Literally this. If my DH told me what to eat and not to eat when I wanted because he wanted to use up something in the fridge, I'd be telling him politely to bugger off! You overbought the bbq food, if you cared that much you should have eaten it tomorrow too and let him eat what he wanted.

Good Lord there's a lot of pandering to men on this thread. The OP is apparently responsible for how much food was bought, how much waste, freezing, cooking, currying the left overs?

Where is her husband in all this? We have a huge problem with food waste in this country, and a cost of living crisis/energy crisis that is about to bite us right on the balls. I don't think it's too much to ask that 50% of a partnership puts his own desires to one side for a moment to help keep down costs and waste in a household.

I think this is the crux of it actually. It’s more the division of labour, and that the fact he doesn’t ever need to think about food other than what he wants, right at that time.

I do end up eating the leftovers so they don’t go to waste but I am not telling him what he can and can’t eat. He can and does eat what he likes, I just wanted him to finish some of it off. We always have cans of fish in and he eats it several times a week.

Its time for him to do a bit of the food labour.

It’s most certainly not just the women in this house eating the bloody dregs like a martyr - we both hate food waste but it’s not something I’d personally go out of my way to eat the crap while the ‘man of the house’ gets to eat the best of everything.

It's the OP doing the pandering....not others if you read what she said.

He doesn’t think about it, he just gets food presented to him and I am the one who does all the thinking, planning etc and not getting to eat what I want.

Yes I am, I am guilty of having taken it over because I’m a good cook and like to eat healthily. DH not so much, but it needs to change.

PP isn’t wrong though. I have been told on this very thread I am over buying, not planning properly etc.

It seems childish to me to turn your nose up at perfectly nice food that needs eating up or it'll be wasted because you fancy something else instead that could be eaten whenever. It's very difficult to respond to your adult partner doing something childish in a way that doesn't seem in some way controlling.

It’s not childish. We all have preferences. The food isn’t automatically getting binned if it isn’t eaten today.

Cold meat from the bbq could have gone straight into the freezer or reused for a different dish. I'm not a lover of leftovers and I'd probably make fresh but I would do something with the leftovers for another day.

And I would definitely not eat what dh told me to!

We had a lovely salad yesterday with left over chicken souvlaki done on the bbq the night before. It was delicious and not wasteful. Why should it be something to avoid?

Yanbu! I can't believe the replies actually. I love leftovers and we bbq a couple of times a week and always do extra.

Surely also it is just common sense to eat the food that goes out of date first? Which would be in this case the left over bbq food?

Yesterday we did a spatchcock chicken that will last till Wednesday in various guises.

I'm not talking about a bbq where people can maul and food gets left out . I hate people touching food. We chill it asap.

Also my DH would just eat what I had decided we were having. Thankfully he is largely unfussy and very grateful that I feed him!

Sure we all have preferences — if it's known that he hates chicken then I wouldn't expect him to eat the chicken. But I would be surprised at other adults in my household ignoring still-good food that needs eating soon in favour of eating food that will last much longer. From a kid I'd expect "Ew leftovers!" or "But I had that yesterday!" or "But I want my fishy!" but adults in my family have an awareness that food costs money and food thrown away is money thrown away, without anyone having to mention it to them or control them.

It’s two chicken breasts that need eating up, not some giant mound of food. Surely fine tomorrow in a sandwich or cooked? It didn’t have to be eaten today?

MN chicken style, I have just made chicken risotto for the kids from chicken roasted on Saturday and there’s more left which will get eaten another day. No one will die.

I don't think you're unreasonable food waste isn't the best. But you probably would have had an easier time repurposing the meal for dinner lol.

I wouldn't want to be told what to eat by another adult so I do think you're being a bit controlling.

You don't have that much left - bread will freeze (or keep for a while if stored correctly), and the chicken can go in sandwiches or in pasta or with the salad. Salad will last another couple of days if stored correctly, too.

I think it's a lot of fuss over nothing, tbh. You eat what you want, let him have what he wants.

It's not childish to prefer something different to leftovers, FGS. He's an adult, why can't he eat what he fancies?!

sometimes women are our own worst enemy FGS. No need to be such absolute martyrs and eat the black bananas and dregs of old crap. Put the bananas in the freezer for smoothies, put the old cereal in the new cereal box etc etc. So many ways around food waste than just eating the almost-mouldy stuff ourselves

why should the woman be responsible for freezing the bananas etc? Whichever way you cut it, the burden falls on the woman to avoid the food waste, if not by eating the older stuff herself then by working out what to do with it.

Where did I say in my post that women should do it?

My husband makes banana bread with grim bananas. I don’t get involved.

From a kid I'd expect "Ew leftovers!" or "But I had that yesterday!" or "But I want my fishy!" but adults in my family have an awareness that food costs money and food thrown away is money thrown away, without anyone having to mention it to them or control them.

Just what I would've said. Also, the word controlling is thrown about here way too loosely, get a grip, people.

Nothing wrong with your request. Your husband is weird. We always eat leftovers first.

Individually the chicken I couldn't get too fussed over. Nor the salad.
What would infuriate me would be opening more bread when there's older bread that needs eating. That's selfish entitlement. "I can have the nice new bread and you can have the old stuff".
Plus opening tins when there is any fresh stuff that needs eating.