This isn't a thread to boast/advertise I genuinely wanted to share something that has worked for me (that I'm still getting my head around!) and give a bit of hope for people in a similar position.
I'm early 40s, short (5ft 2) and a naturally petite frame, ie narrow shoulders and hips, small bust. I've never been significantly overweight, but as I've got older my weight has crept up and not in a particularly healthy way - it mainly goes on my stomach, I'm more of an apple than an hourglass. Because of my frame I fitted into small clothes sizes but I didn't feel great.
I would despair when I did calorie counting as all the calculators would tell me my maintenance was around 1500-1600 and to lose weight I had to be aiming for 1200-1350. I like my food. Living off that many calories turns you into the type of person who orders side dishes as mains, or eats half a banana, or lives permanently keto, or skips meals. There's no wriggle room on that level of calories in the long term.
I have done weight training on and off, but after listening to a podcast about why women should eat more when lifting, I realised that every time I've been into fitness I've also tried to eat healthily/cut out junk, which means every time I've been cutting calories at the same time.
So, this year I started weight training consistently and tried to eat the same as usual. I got stronger. My appetite increased. I didn't calorie count. I look a bit more 'toned' (not keen on that word, but what I mean is you wouldn't look at me and think I lift weights unless you look closely) I am wearing a larger clothes size on top because my arms/shoulders are a bit bigger but that's about it.
So after doing this for 6 months I started tracking my food, focusing on keeping my protein high but trying to guesstimate cutting calories a bit to try and get a bit leaner, ie keep the muscle but lose a bit of fat.
I started off aiming at 1800 calories and I lost weight too quickly, I've had to up it to 1950 and I am likely to go back up again soon.
I never thought that I could get to a point where I need 2000 calories a day. I am not a natural athlete, I was a scrawny kid, I'm short, I'm female, I'm over 40.
As a teenager in the 90s with all the heroin chic/deprivation being in fashion, this is a revelation. I feel better, my posture is better, I sleep better AND I can eat a slice of cake without having to skip a meal.
I know there's a weights section on here but just wanted to shout from the rooftops that eating 1300 calories forever isn't the only option!