To wonder why people get wasted at work events?

[elzober]

On more than one occasion at work parties or nights out, I've seen people who are brand new in the company get completely blind drunk then proceed to embarass themselves/ vomit loads/ not turn up for work the next day. On a couple of occasions this has led to people getting sacked.

This happened again at a work party tonight. One individual who joined a few weeks ago and has been trying to make a good impression and present themselves as a serious contender for future leadership positions, got completely off their face. Everyone was commenting about the state of this person and the HR lady had to help them get home to 'ensure they still had a job in the morning'.

By all means have a few drinks and enjoy the night but why get so pissed at a work event when you're still getting to know people and make a good impression? If you want to get that wrecked, do it with your friends...AIBU?

It's not just new people either. Sometimes it's established people in a company who just decide to go wild and get completely off their heads and do something inappropriate. Like the manager who went out with all the junior staff and started grinding and dirty dancing with one of them (neither were single at the time).

Maybe I'm missing sth here as not a massive drinker but why do people do this? It's so embarrassing to watch

I have never been to a work event, simply because I am someone who drinks excessively due to nerves. I am teetotal at home, but that's where I'm comfortable so it's fine. In social situations I have a glass or 2 of wine and feel so much more confident that I end up drinking too much. Obviously it would all end up going horribly wrong which is why I avoid it in the first place!

Nerves.

I do agree with you, op. I’ve known all sorts of awful stuff happen as a result of people drinking too much at work events, from throwing up on a client to getting the sack for criminal damage. It’s such a bad idea. These days I’m strictly soft drinks at anything worky and I’ve noticed that lots of people are the same.

I'm on a masters course and we are trying to organise a social. I have picked an alcohol free restaurant as some of the muslim students simply won't attend if there is alcohol.

you make a really good point there @Northernsoullover in fact our much-maligned Civil Service Diversity and Inclusion/Unconscious Bias training does make that very point that managers should be careful about the social events they organise to ensure you aren't excluding people

going down the pub may where Muslims who are strict about staying away from an environment where alcohol is serve, may not be the best most inclusive choice. Ditto offering free alcohol (not that it would be relevant for my CS Dept, but for Industry/Private Sector it would be).

Eventually someone who has drunk too much at a work do and come to harm will sue an employer and win, maybe for an unfair dismissal or something else arising as a consequence of being plastered free at employers expense. Then employers will stop with the bucketloads of free booze, it's dangerous as people's judgement can be so impaired by alcohol.

We don't have these free boozy evenings at work. Sometimes I go for a meal with a client and we may have a bottle of wine for the table but no-one gets drunk.

At Christmas parties, the food is usually covered but the drinks are not. We are not encouraged to get drunk at all infact my boss takes a very dim view of us getting drunk infront of our direct teams.

There is still always someone who goes too far. We had one guy take coke in the bathroom and squared up to our MD.

I agree with you OP.

It's none of your business what other people do. If you dont like it, don't go or don't associate with the drunks while there.

I've done this three times. The first, I was young and stupid in my first job at a Christmas party. It ended up getting a mention in the newsletter. You'd think I'd have learnt!

Then another time I got so drunk my (different) boss had to put me in his executive taxi to get/send me home. I was still young and didn't know when to stop drinking. I had a problem with drink. I wasn't alcoholic but I'd binge drink, drink too often and didn't know when enough was enough.

The last time, I didn't intend to go to the drinks, I was fasting but went and got rat arsed. My (again different) boss had to put me in an Addison Lee car. I made ut in for 8am the next day though!

I learnt my lesson after that and treated work drinks like work.

I don't drink now in day to day life and if I did I stick to a 3 drink limit.

I'm with you op. I've seen people work hard all year to further their careers, be diligent in their work and ruin the whole 12 months by getting smashed at the Xmas party, and that tends to be what everyone remembers them for, not what a brilliant employee they've been all year

I'm no employment lawyer but 'sacked there and then' for sleeping in once, without going through any investigation or disciplinary process sounds like the company are on pretty shaky ground.

Even if that is legally sound (I don't know, maybe if he was on probation or something), the company are not appearing in a good light, holding a work party where drinking was obviously encouraged, then penalising someone that harshly for participating and over sleeping the next day.

Morally, I don't think this example makes the point you want it to, OP.

Two words. Free drink

Because decent new employees have lost their jobs and I've seen this happen several times now. That's why it's a big thing.

You may see me as sactimonious and that's your opinion but I was more feeling incredulous that it happened again at last night's event. I was sure lessons had been learned by everyone (bosses snd staff) aboit previous incidents.

After reading all the comments I can appreciate better how employers play a big part in all this too and the wider excessive drinking culture in UK so it's not all the fault of individuals. But something needs to change. I will be suggesting to HR that maybe a drier event is best next time.

Hang on a sec, why would they lose their job? For being sick? What rule does that break? Inappropriate grinding or inappropriate sexual conduct is a completely different thing, irrespective of alcohol.

No one's been sacked because of vomiting. It's been inappropriate behaviour and failing to turn up. We work with employment lawyers who are consulted about everything.

OP - I don’t think you’ve started this thread to genuinely find out why people do this. You’ve started the thread to complain about - well actually, sit in judgment on - the people who do it.

Most people don’t behave this way. It’s only a small minority. And there have been lots of explanations already as to why some people do this.

Nerves. Anxiety. Inexperience/youth. Pressure from above. Other things going on.

None of these are excuses. They’re just an explanation.

In my 20s, I worked at a very social workplace. We were plied with free booze every Friday night, and routinely went to the local for a couple at lunch time (I met DH there and have very fond memories of that job!). Some people got very boozed at some of the functions.

I’m now middle aged with home responsibilities and no inclination for it, and don’t get involved in that side of things at all.

But I definitely feel very sorry for young people today, many of whom have had to WFH and have missed out on a lot the last couple of years.

There possibly is currently a bit of over-excessiveness on some people’s parts. And some people having to learn ‘the rules’.

Most people do know the rules, and don’t need to learn then the hard way. A few do need to learn them the hard way, unfortunately. I’m sure the person in question who went overboard is feeling mortified and won’t do it again.

God yes it’s mortifying. Used to make me think in my twenties that the older middle aged men who got that drunk at work events can’t have much of a social life if a work event is such a big deal to them.

We had one in the office years ago and a secretary got in the glass lift and mooned the dance floor below. Imagine waking up
the next morning after that! Another where a newly hired pr man had full sex with a secretary under a table. In both cases they never came back.

Were you at our work party last night, a company starting with C?

At what point was an employment lawyer (or even HR policy) consulted between an employee not turning up, once, someone going out on a welfare check, and then them being dismissed 'there and then'?

I'm someone who has been completely hammered several times at work events. Luckily, where I work, it's a heavy drinking culture anyway so no one really cares. The bar is always free flow and you'll have people literally handing you bottles of alcohol or topping up your glass all night.

This, coupled with a weird response I have to alcohol (completely fine, then suddenly absolutely wasted) and crippling nerves before events leading to me to drink more (I often turn up to these events, but can't make myself go inside if it's loud, in case I don't know where to sit/go, so end up going home) mean I am your stated lack-of-control idiot when it comes to drinking.

I do stop "forever" every now and then, but it never really lasts!

To answer your OP.

Because that’s what many people are like, work or no.

And LOTS of senior managers (at the end of the day someone is authorising the organisation, if not paying) also have unhealthy relationships with alcohol and don’t care.

There is a mainstream culture in the U.K. that when adults meet, if there’s no alcohol involved, then it’s mustn’t be fun. It’s tragic for so many reasons.

For you personally, it’s good that you’ve had this revelation. In 99% of cases, alcohol and work just don’t mix.

There is a mainstream culture in the U.K. that when adults meet, if there’s no alcohol involved, then it’s mustn’t be fun. It’s tragic for so many reasons.

Totally agree. It's our social lubricant. But there's always backlash when this fact is pointed out.

I'm sorry but I think it's disgraceful and I've seen it happen several times now.

I think I’d drink heavily if I were around you to be honest. You sound like a barrel of laughs.

for most new starters these events are a nightmare, everyone already has their little groups of mates and wants to chat to them. It can be quite lonely and high pressured

often when you’re stressed alcohol hits you harder as well which they forget

learn from your HR lady, show a little kindness

Not everyone dislikes their colleagues. My workmates are the best part of my job and we have an active social committee, funded by the partners, together with the usual big annual events like summer and Christmas parties.

They get fairly raucous but it's an excellent opportunity for the junior staff to get to know the senior partners and generally people don't embarrass themselves. Someone did once break an arm when they fell off a stage. If anyone gets together there is the usual good-natured mocking the week after, but we have a surprisingly high number of couples who got together at work.

The only time I saw this sort of behaviour at a national event where we were representing our company - the person got so wasted they needed a wheelchair to get them back to hotel room & next morning when we checked on them found them lying in their own vomit, piss & shit. In a room paid for by the company in a 5* London hotel.
And that’s a very condensed version of events that took over 2 hours to just get them back to hotel.

"I think I’d drink heavily if I were around you to be honest. You sound like a barrel of laughs."

Tee hee.

If an employment lawyer advised that it was OK to sack someone on the spot for oversleeping, they're the ones that should be sacked because they could have exposed the company to a claim. Gross misconduct (for which you can be sacked without notice) is for very serious things, like stealing. Not oversleeping and missing work for a morning. That would warrant a management warning but not dismissal and certainly not instant dismissal.

It's culture. My dh used to work for a new IT company owned by fairly young men. Their work dos were basically 'go to a venue and drink the place dry!' and anyone getting shit faced was fine.

I was a teacher and at a visit to my new job there was a Summer social. Like someone above, I hadn't quite made a mental jump from uni drinks with friends to drinking with your professional hat on. I had 3 glasses of wine. Actually I was fine - I drank a lot more in those days - but it was enough that my new headteacher raised an eyebrow and sort of said 'steady on'. I have never got drunk at a work event or even had more than a couple of drinks since.

My current job involves many years of training and the very youngest you can qualify is late 20s, but most are early 30s when they start. I think this means everyone has made that mental transition and many have young families etc. There isn't a big drinking culture at our work events.