To wonder why people get wasted at work events?

[elzober]

On more than one occasion at work parties or nights out, I've seen people who are brand new in the company get completely blind drunk then proceed to embarass themselves/ vomit loads/ not turn up for work the next day. On a couple of occasions this has led to people getting sacked.

This happened again at a work party tonight. One individual who joined a few weeks ago and has been trying to make a good impression and present themselves as a serious contender for future leadership positions, got completely off their face. Everyone was commenting about the state of this person and the HR lady had to help them get home to 'ensure they still had a job in the morning'.

By all means have a few drinks and enjoy the night but why get so pissed at a work event when you're still getting to know people and make a good impression? If you want to get that wrecked, do it with your friends...AIBU?

It's not just new people either. Sometimes it's established people in a company who just decide to go wild and get completely off their heads and do something inappropriate. Like the manager who went out with all the junior staff and started grinding and dirty dancing with one of them (neither were single at the time).

Maybe I'm missing sth here as not a massive drinker but why do people do this? It's so embarrassing to watch

It's not always free. They provide first couple normally then people have to pay. They now usually warn people about behaviour etc before events given everything that's happened

Looks like it is the norm and anyone questioning it is frowned upon as a bore and spoilsport.

I don't see anything normal about some of the situations I described above.

"This is why DH and I have always told our girls that work drinks/ dinners are an extension of work, behave as if you are on the job and 1-2 drinks max."

Now cross your fingers and hope they obey haha..

Your employers is on dodgy ground for supplying free booze to potentially recovering alcoholics at a work event they are expected to attend and drink alcohol at. Sounds like they are encouraging a drinking culture at work then sacking people immediately when they can't handle it. Nice. I suggest your employer reads up on their responsibility for employee health and wellbeing at work, and you, OP read up on how prevalent problem drinking is and stop making yourself look stupid on the internet.

@Rosehugger nobody is expected to do anything. There are several tee totallers and normal alcohol users in the company who join these events and have a lovely time. Only initial drinks are free - no one is obliged to carry on drinking.

my ex-employer used to have massive free bar events at hotels with no partners invited. WTF do you think will happen?

If you have staff, arrange event =s to team-build rather than destroy lives.

You've asked why this happens but don't seem happy with the answers.
As PPs have said its social anxiety, nerves, alcohol problems, drinking culture. I can relate as I did it a couple times in my 20s and it took weeks/months to recover from the shame of it all. Some work parties I went to those organising deliberately tried to get staff very drunk, serving double, triple cocktails etc. Very few people want to end up in that situation at a work party, you're right about that.

Honest answer? It's mostly because some people behave stupidly and are their own worst enemy. I don't understand the people making excuses for it, but I suppose some of them will be the ones who can't control themselves or don't see why they should have to exercise a little restraint at a work event.

@craftsupplyhoarder spot on. I guess I know the reasons why this can happen and it makes sense. Maybe I should have asked AIBU to think it's not a good idea to get wasted at a work event.

Because the booze is free.

Also, many of the attendees probably feel underpaid for the hours and effort they put into their jobs, so when something free is available, they are going to make sure they get a shitload of it.

We used to have parties at work & you could guarantee someone would get absolutely shitfaced, someone would end up in a fight, someone would end up being upset. You could have made a fortune at the betting shop if you could have had a bet & it was always the same people

The early 2000s are calling 🙄Fortunatley we're pretty much past the attitude that binge drinking is great and anyone not participating doesn't know how to enjoy themselves and shouldn't be allowed to socialise. People have a right to feel safe at work events and not have the senior manager trying to grind with them in the dance floor. Being sober or just having one / two drinks should be the default and not the people told to stay home because they're not fun enough.

OP I assume that it's nerves and having never been expected to control drinking before. Binge drinking can be so normalised at Uni that some people think it's how everyone behaves around alcohol. I think they may genuinely not realise that they've crossed a line. Others just have difficulty controlling their intake or don't register they they're drinking on an empty stomache. Work events are work. Don't drink to excess. If you do and are inappropriate then expect consequences. I do agree though that work events should not be compulsory and there is really no need for them to involve alcohol.

Yep - In my experience it's the senior men in a business who are always the worst behaved and set the worst example.

I've done this a few times. I think the factors probably were as follows:

Hated my job
Hated myself
Nervouse/socially awkward
Free drinks
Not knowing how much alcohol I can handle before tipping over into "too drunk" territory

I haven't done it in a very long time, which I think is probably due to me actually enjoying my job, being more confident in myself, and just generally drinking far less alcohol than I used to, so I know when to stop.

Oh also I forgot to add I always felt huge pressure to drink alcohol at work events. It was expected in my old industry. I would usually say no at the start of the event because I was worried about mixing work and alocohl, but I would allow myself to be goaded into it by other people. The peer pressure was intense.

Obviously now I'm a lot older and I'd just tell someone to piss off if they were trying to pressure me to drink alcohol, but I didn't have that same confidence in my 20s.

OP I get your points but I think you need to find some compassion for some of the people involved. Yes if you’re a “grown up” and experienced with work and you routinely get shitfaced and humiliate yourself out of choice/being a bellend, that’s on you. They deserve the sack. But as several others have pointed out being very young/new to the workplace often means your decision making is poor esp after a few drinks. Younger people are often routinely bought drinks (including stronger/larger than they ask for) by older staff members in places I’ve worked - thankfully not in a spiking way but in a “generous” way. So someone offers you a drink, you order a single rum and coke or a small wine and they bring you a double or a large. Only takes a couple of those to get you over the edge to real drunkenness. IMO this should stop but as it’s often bosses (and usually senior men) doing it, I can’t see it somehow.

The other point I wanted to make is I have seen this several times with colleagues with MH conditions such as bipolar - if they’re going through a manic time they often are “out of control” once a drink or two is inside them and are the ones wanting to go on all night and encourage everyone to go to another bar/club. Basically it’s their brain chemistry going off piste and it’s not their fault at all. It’s not a coincidence that many of my colleagues who’ve been like this now don’t drink at all now.

so yeah, not everyone is in control, but in some cases it’s not fair to blame them. You’d be better off having a quiet word a few days later and asking if they are ok.

(NB this is not for the laddy lad lads who are just drinking to show off etc)

Peer pressure and work culture.

It doesn’t happen at every workplace. It doesn’t at my current work because we have a different culture but other places I have worked it was the norm.

Then once people have had a few, they don’t have much control

I haven't been out "drinking" with work for over 10 years because i cannot control myself and have worked out that i consume more alcohol because I don't consider work colleagues as "friends" and therefore need more confidence. When I was young however it was all par for the course! You live, you learn......

@EnterACloud you make a lot of good points, I've been bought double measures by a senior man before even though I only wanted a single. It's hard to refuse when it's a boss or team leader even though I never drink doubles. I made sure I left soon after as didn't want to feel obliged to drink more but someone else in that situation might feel pressured to carry on.

I dont agree at all with workplaces encouraging any drinking or trying to get people drunk and often employers are a big part of the problem. I think my employer has got a bit better but these repeated episodes with colleagues suggest a rethink maybe.

I also think excessive drinking is so ingrained in how we socialise that I guess it's not realistic to expect people to suddenly show restraint in a work context if they never normally do.

It's just a shame when it ruins people's jobs. The person at tonights work do that got so drunk is likely to face some sort of consequence next week as I overheard bosses talking and they weren't impressed. All of the bosses were sober or just had a couple tonight and one actually was bringing her water when he saw she'd had too many.

Sympathy?! For grown adults making fools of themselves? You must be joking. If someone “can’t make themselves stop” they have a drinking problem. It’s really not hard to have one or two and say no thanks, no more.

I agree OP, but British drinking culture is out of control and functional alcoholism is not just tolerated but encouraged. You can see that from the responses here. I can’t believe anyone would think someone at a work event so drunk they’re sleazing on colleagues and puking down themselves deserves sympathy!

I have some sympathy for younger people who don’t know their limits yet not middle aged men who drink so much they behave inappropriately

I like a drink myself but I would never get drunk at a work event

It’s literally her job. She deserves flowers but she should also consider whether socialising with booze is something work should be encouraging.

I think your company is the one in the wrong here. I really do. Considering I spent half my life as a pisshead I've never got so shit faced that I've made a bad decision (at work, at least) but what do they expect? Alcohol by its very nature triggers the human body into wanting more. Not everyone will react like that but plenty enough people do.
Your organisation would be better off organising a lunch or something alcohol free. It also excludes certain members of society.
I'm on a masters course and we are trying to organise a social. I have picked an alcohol free restaurant as some of the muslim students simply won't attend if there is alcohol. A few don't mind and would just not drink but some are quite strict. Of course now the drinkers are acting like an alcohol free restaurant is the end of the world.

I'm picturing you standing there wagging your finger when you're saying that

None of what you're saying is wrong, @elzober but you're coming across as sanctimonious on this thread. People do stupid thing, make the wrong choices, why make a big thing about it.

Another one thinking your workplace is really shitty providing free drinks and then firing people for drunken behaviour. It sounds like there’s an engrained culture of drinking at your workplace that the bosses aren’t taking responsibility for.

As others have said, it’s all very well saying people should “control themselves” but a combination of nerves, well-meaning “generous” colleagues etc could easily mean a younger or more inexperienced person could get in over their head.