Denied Prom Tickets attendance

[Fantasticday74]

So I have seen a fair few cases where teens have been denied Prom Tickets for not meeting school criteria. Ok some it s fairly clear that the school may have been justified in making that decision. However there have been a few cases that to me feels wrong and of course this is only the cases who went to press etc
Teen 1 denied Prom Ticket due to poor attendance caused by Chrohns Disease.
Teen 2 denied Prom due to minor disruption caused by being ND. ADHD.
Numerous kids receiving Medical Needs Tuition but still on role at school not receiving an invite including DD.
I feel from groups I am on so many are penalised in this way.
So AIBU to think schools should take disability and Medical Conditions into account before denying kids their Prom.

Not prom but my dd who is 14 has poor mental health

It's absolutely disgusting. Way to exclude people with medical conditions from society. Just shut us away for something that isn't our fault.

@ThinWomansBrain Same - thinking the RAH had some pretty serious new security banning drunks teens rocking up to interrupt the Mahler 😂

Sorry posted to soon, and she has only been doing a part time time table.
In the last year the school has introduced there own unit for children like my daughter which has been fantastic.
All the unit got to go to an award outing, what I liked was that they set the criteria for it individual and achievable!
Most children that attendance is low is not due to them not wanting to go (I know there will be some and tbh most of the kids that aren't going to school because they can not be bothered won't be bothered with prom).
We wouldn't punish adults who can't go to work due to health or poor mental health.

As a secondary school teacher I don’t see lack of attendance as a reason to ban children from prom at all.
No issues with banning children who can’t behave though.

There may or may not be more to theses stories. But like @ExtraOnion DD my DD was let down by her school and the LA and CAMHS. Despite being on role she was totally forgotten about with regard to Prom. We still received every other year 11 correspondence .
Having attendance as a target for events like this is so shitty and most schools do it.

I thought the stories about prom exclusions were heartbreaking. I think current teenagers are one of the groups that suffered most mentally as a result of the Covid restrictions, with uncertainty around exams, trying to catch up on missed months of GCSE lessons, social exclusions, cancelled trips etc. According to our school's mental health team the big epidemic is in mental health, particularly amongst teenage girls. To then cancel the child from their big night and last goodbye with their friends seems cruel. No-one was excluded from my dd's prom, they just arranged the tables so that none of the badly behaved kids sat together.

I think sticking myriad conditions on going to proms should be off the table, especially attendance ones when they're used against children with regular hospital appointments or frequent absences due to sickness etc. It seems designed to trip up all but a handful of g
children.

I think it should only be used as a sanction on a case-by-case basis for very bad behaviour, so people who've bullied/pose a threat to other DC, vandals etc. If you can't give a reason as to why a particular child's attendance AT the prom is problematic, then they should be there.

It's revolting for schools to penalise children for medical issues but I have seen it time and again. Any type of "attendance award" penalises those with chronic.conditions. it's a clear breach of the equality act.
My children will never get an attendance award due to clinic appointments etc being on school days and just the reality that they can't choose when they get ill. They hate watching children getting awarded for essentially just being lucky enough not to have a disability.

I really think that unless a child is going to be a risk to themselves or others or are excluded at the time for behaviour then it should be open to all. What a mean spirited world we live in.

Great post @EnidSpyton so many lack the intuitive skills needed which I believe is just as effective around young people, schools need leaders like you.

YANBU. Making eligibility dependant on attendance is clear disability discrimination unless they have exceptions for every child whose attendance has been affected by physical or mental health problems. But even if you do have those exceptions, you would have a problem with schools that don't recognise emotionally based school avoidance and difficulties such as ME and long covid, which is equally discriminatory. If schools had any sense, they would simply keep out of proms altogether and/or say that the only eligibility criterion is being a pupil in year 11.

This! And I'm thinking in particular of a school run by one of the government's favourite headmistresses.

Prom's are God awful events anyway - and if your child is having issues with the school then they are very unlikely to enjoy it even if they were to be invited.
I feel like parents make a bigger deal about Prom's than the kids do.
I had a lot of mental health issues during my last year at school and didn't get an invite to prom - but there was no way I would of wanted to go even if I did get an invite.

I'd always want to hear the school's side of the story before making my mind up if any of these were unfair. I know I'm one case a parent went to the press about his daughter being denied access to a prom and lots of parents from the school commented telling the real reasons she'd been denied a ticket.

Our prom was (beautifully) organised privately by students and parents ... no input from the school at all. I thought that was the norm.

www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/uk-news/schoolboy-devastated-after-finding-out-24380824.amp

When I read this story I didn’t actually believe it as surely no one is that entitled!

But reading these replies I can now see why someone would think it’s acceptable to have low attendance, bad behaviour and not bother buying a ticket and still be allowed to go to the prom.

I actually feel sorry for the kids because the parents are teaching them to be so entitled that they’re going to struggle when they get to the real world.

www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/uk-news/schoolboy-devastated-after-finding-out-24380824.amp

I don’t have an issue with an attendance award per se. Some kids that’s the only award they’ll ever get, and you could say the same about a sports award and a maths award as it’s only because the child was lucky enough to be good at maths/sports in first place. However attendance awards should be low key, something like a certificate and not something major like a prom or in other cases I’ve seen reward trips like visits to theme parks etc

@CallOnMe I think I read that story r similar too and like I said in my OP thought school was totally justified.
However in lots of cases especially the Teen with Chrohns I think they were just applying unfair blanket rules. The school were given an opportunity to comment but they declined.to me that suggests they realise they screwed up.
@AlexClo sorry you struggled. My DD, although not given the opportunity to get a ticket ,couldn't have coped either. Hence why I wasn't bothered for her.

@Quia O yes the Offroll Queen. Funny hiw done if the School Bill Wording seems very much like offrolling to me.

How and some

There was no "prom" when I was at school but there was a leaver's dance thing put on by the school... however it was a fairly miserable affair with power-crazy teachers micromanaging the entire event like we were 5 years old and generally ruining it - so the REAL party/dance/prom (whatever you want to call it) was actually organised independently and held elsewhere so the school had no control over it. It was brilliant actually. Maybe that is the answer to all this; the students/parents organise it separately so that the school cannot pull this kind of crap. Remove their power.

That kid has learnt a valuable lesson (hopefully), that you aren't entitled to behave how you want and still get rewards. It was right that he was banned. Poor behaviour and low attention (not health related) should mean these kids miss out. Prom is a reward at the end of the year.

Children who miss school due to health issues should not be included in the prom ban imo. That's outside of their control and to me, it seems a bit like punishing a child for being ill. If they've a genuine medical issue, then it's to be expected the kid may miss some time at school.

This isn’t a new issue and sadly schools are not getting any better.

My Dd is 22 now and I had to fight with the school for every end of term disco as they always stayed an attendance percentage that had to be hit.
she has Narcolepsy that was uncontrolled at that point and the majority of her missed marks were on days where I’d had to collect her for a trip to A&E so she missed afternoon registration.

Its shocking that post covid and when we know that it’s had a terrible impact on lots of teens that it’s still not being dealt with in a fair and non-discriminatory way.