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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Who is U, me or DH?

54 replies

InUseAlready · 15/07/2022 17:18

We’ve been offered a last minute weekend away at a friend’s holiday cottage by the sea.

Our eldest, DC15 doesn’t want to come. They want to go to a sleepover at their mate’s house.

DH is upset that DC15 doesn’t want to come and is suggesting I go with our DCs 9 & 7 on my own.

I think that this is just part and parcel of having a teenager and if they’d rather be with their friends then that’s how it is and probably how it’s going to be as they get older and more independent.

I’m fine going on my own with the younger DCs but it would just be nicer if DH came too.

Who is U?

YANBU = DH needs to cut the apron strings.

YABU = You should do everything as a family until the children are 21.

OP posts:
Sunnytwobridges · 15/07/2022 19:51

TibetanTerrah · 15/07/2022 17:22

Thats such a weird "solution" by your DH Confused

Agreed. That caused me to have a "Whaaattt?" moment 😂

Well I just read it's your SC, so that makes it different and I can see why DH doesn't want to go with out him. I'd go and enjoy or just pass altogether.

ChickenBurgers · 15/07/2022 19:57

endofagain · 15/07/2022 18:10

I had a 10 year gap and we often had split forces. It is a normal part of parenting IMO.
In this situation I would have a conversation with the parent of your 15 year old's friend. Make sure it is all above board and a parent will be present. Find a trusted friend or relative to be around for the time your DC15 is not under the supervision of friend's parent. Explain to DC that this will be a trial run to ensure they can be sensible and responsible.
Then go with DH and other DC and enjoy an age appropriate outing.

agree with all of this. Whether he was your biological child or step child is irrelevant really, you’re not saying “oh you can’t come because you’re my step child I’m only taking my child. A holiday as a family unit was presented to him, he doesn’t fancy it and would rather spend time with his mates which is perfectly natural for a 15yo. Just make sure friends parents are happy for him to stay over and have a trusted relative close by in case they’re needed.

Deadringer · 15/07/2022 20:02

I would make the 15 year old come tbh, family time is precious and they can sleepover at their mate's any time. Maybe once they turn 16 I would leave them behind. I can see I am in a tiny minority on here though.

lancsgirl85 · 15/07/2022 20:03

Also interested in other posters who have teens and younger DC. If you have family plans and the teen wants to opt out, what do you do? The rest of the family misses out? You go anyway and teen stays behind? One parent goes and one stays? You force the teen to come against their will and then they sulk the whole time?

I have a teen and a toddler. If it's a day thing, we go anyway and teen stays behind at home (she's almost 16). If it's an overnight thing and teen doesn't want to come she has to find a friend's house to stay at, or she goes to her dad's for the night, or she has to come with us.

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