Do you let your children read their school report?

[FawnFrenchieMum]

YABU - Yes of course I do
YANBU - No I don’t

What’s your reasoning behind your answer?

I'm not sure how I feel about @PeachCottonTree saying they change grids if there are too many negative ones. How are parents of kids with SEN meant to understand the real situation if the reports aren't accurate?
I always had to really press primary teachers to be clear as they had a tendency to sugar coat / circumnavigate so much the meaning got lost.

Yes, it is about them after all.

I read it to ds.

It's about him and he needs to know where he's at and also the suggestions for improvements.

How do kids grow if all parents do is post how wonderful their school report was on SM

At primary you are meeting expectation, or not. It can be demotivating for some children to see that despite best efforts they are still not good enough.

However once at secondary they tend to report on your personal 'flightpath' so even if you are only on track for 4s or even lower you can still be achieving against your own targets.

@speakout So glad your DD is doing well, it sounds like she loves what she does. Often my learners who struggle the most are the ones who also work hardest because they want to understand. I get frustrated on their behalf that the amount of effort they put in doesn’t always equal the immediate success they deserve and they’re crushed when they see classmates around them just ‘get it’. I try to praise effort and help develop their resilience in the hope that they go on to be as successful as you DD 🙂

At secondary school school they share the students reports with them first

I'm the 'wrong' side of 60 and was always able to read school reports - primary & secondary.

@Satsblues I’m not sure how helpful seeing the grids would be, I think it depends on the individual child. Some wouldn’t be phased by it whilst others could become fixated on the negatives and demotivated.

Personally I dislike the grids part of our reports for my learners who are working 5 years behind their peers and have just been given another 9-12 month extension. For children that benefit from extra time and over-learning the grids don’t accurately reflect the amount of work the child has put in over the year.

I think continuing to emphasise the personal progress and effort is the best strategy. I do this with my class as a whole, including the learners who are speeding ahead of their peers. Comparing themselves to others isn’t helpful for pupils or their parents. If they focus on themselves and try their best then they’ll be happier. Setting small goals can be more encouraging too as they experience success more regularly.

@TeenDivided I go back through all my reports and adjust them, often with the input of colleagues, not just the ones that appear overly negative on the grids. The schools I’ve worked at take the view that reports should mainly be positive. I always try to be fair and positive and have still been handed back a couple of reports in the past and told to make them more positive before they are sent out, that is frustrating as then you really are sugarcoating things.

I keep in frequent contact with the parents of my learners with SEN, as do many of my colleagues who also work closely with them, and we aim to be honest in meetings. The six written sections of the report are a clear reflection of the child and their abilities. Our reports also have 3 different grids measuring about 20 different things so I don’t feel changing 1 or 2 in areas where the child is really trying has much impact on the overall report.

I hear what you’re saying though. I’ve had six learners this past year where previous teachers have sugarcoated and danced around the issues. It can be nerve wracking being the first person to raise the issue after several years but I’ve found parents appreciate the honesty and also the extra support that is offered when we help push for a formal diagnosis.

I wish they wouldn't go through the tick boxes of various stuff they do at school and just make a note in the comments section if a child is particularly gifted in art or music or 'understand the world around us' or better yet, contact the parents when they first realise their child is gifted and talented and offer to nuture their gift.

Nobody can be good at everything and even as an adult it's quite shite going into your PDR and being told you're not very good at this and that so why subject a child to it.

And I know someone will say well we subject them to it so they know where they need to improve but do we really need to improve on our drawing skills or recorder or does it just not actually matter?

When my dc were at primary school, 15 - 20 years ago the reports using language more like it was a business appraisal. Jargon that sounded like it was straight from a B.Ed text book and not made non professional friendly. I'd certainly show my kids but had to check I properly grasped what it meant. And could help them understand.

I don't show the DC at primary, just gave them edited highlight telling them the teachers said they were working hard (which is all that matters at that age). DD1 in particular was one of the top students at primary and I didn't want her to get big headed (there was a lot of ridiculousness about how amazing she was in her reports), they are too young to understand that being top at primary doesn't mean that they'll always be top. My elder two are at secondary and they always read their reports, they have more understanding of how they are doing anyway and the school is big enough that they're in among a decent number of other bright kids.

In early primary it's easy to tell even before the reports come home. Flying through the book bands, breezing through homework and spelling tests with no mistakes, I get stopped by the teacher to be told what lovely pieces of writing they've done etc. The tick boxes on the reports show exceeding expectations in all the core areas. They really don't need to know that. It's not particularly meaningful at their age. What matters and what I've read to them, are the comments about behaviour and attitude.

No I dont let them read but mine are all under 13 at the moment.

I wouldn't let primary school children read them at all. I tell them the postive stuff then things we need to work on together.

My high school child is very bit black and white so probably next year we will sit down together with it next year as he doesnt have the maturity yet. He is the type who would go into a specific teacher and ask in detail why they said what they did and get hung up on specific phrasing.

Not before I have just in case there's something that needs advance warning or qualification of but mine are primary age. I don't involve them in parents evening though. Just give them a precis. If the school want to give them a message +'ve or -'ve they have 6hrs per day. I want to have honest open adult conversation with teacher.

This thread has got me thinking actually. I’ve always let DD(8) read hers because there has never been a negative word in them. She works hard at school, shes extten

Woops that went wrong! She’s a positive and kind pupil and I want her to see that her efforts are recognised.

DS goes to school this year. He has SEN and I know his reports will be nothing like hers, so I guess I’ll be cherry picking… but then that in itself will probably make him doubt himself.

100% read it with them. My sons teacher spoke so highly of him in his most recent report I had tears in my eyes reading it. No way I’d id keep that information from him

I actually read it with them and discussed their feelings regarding it. Also to see if they agree with it. Giving them a chance to correct an error or have a talk about their strengths and weakness. Letting them think and come up with possible solutions to strengthen (improve) their weakness.

Both kids had glowing reports, nothing negative so of course they read them.

Do you know how "well" your children are doing at this stage? Compared to what?

If you've got a very bright child you know well before they get to primary school. DD1 was an absolute sponge from birth and I spent her first few years hiding what she could do from other parents. She was early to crawl, walk, do jigsaws, recognise patterns, swim, draw, write, and read. I remember another parent at her nursery complaining to me that they weren't encouraging the children to learn their letters, DD1 had been taught to write 2 years previously. At primary she'd come home and would tell me the entire lesson plan (I remember a long discussion with her about John Cage's 4′33″ when she was in Y1) She basically hot housed herself in reading, practicing reading her picture books every day and she'd spend the walk home from school telling me all about her reading book and like a PP said she flew through the reading scheme at school. She knew very early on at primary that the other sets were given easier work and the teacher's comments about her were always ridiculously positive even in comparison to her sister's very good reports.

Our school sets it as “homework” for the week to discuss reports, give comments and set targets going forward..