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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to just pull him out of nursery?

52 replies

Notnowbarnaby · 15/07/2022 15:54

DS started nursery at the beginning of April. Since then he’s been unwell every other week pretty much. GP says it’s normal, they think he has cough variant asthma so perhaps more susceptible to coughs than most, which means he seems to get a cough with every cold/viral or bacterial infection. No sleep for any of us due to said cough and everything disrupted.

I know it’s par for the course especially because of lockdown/Covid (GP said they are seeing a lot of children DS’s age and younger that are getting a lot more infections back to back than they otherwise would be because of lack of exposure) but I feel broken with it all.

Nursery is currently short staffed so might have to close a room temporarily and I am half wondering whether to just pull him out and try again next year when we have our government funded time.

I work for myself so have the flexibility to do so but am unsure if I’m being melodramatic because I’m tired. He’s had two weeks back at nursery and has now come down with another cough (perfectly fine in himself so far fortunately).

OP posts:
Ohthatsexciting · 15/07/2022 16:00

Your call

But I found that those that really suffered with loads of colds etc during nursery also did at school- so this might just be the way it is for you and your son unfortunately

Original poster
Notnowbarnaby · 15/07/2022 16:22

😭😭😭😭 I was clinging on to the hope that if he’s like this now he would be better come school time.
it’s actually making me wonder if he has some kind of underlying condition because it seems at the upper end of extreme even though the GP said it’s normal. And always a cough!

although he did have full bloods a couple of months ago for something else and nothing was flagged.

I just feel like there’s no point making plans as they always get cancelled or disrupted because he’s poorly and it’s horrible listening to him cough away all the time, it can’t be pleasant for him.

OP posts:
whiskersonkittenss · 15/07/2022 16:41

Sounds just like my son, same age too. We went for an asthma test at the doctors and she said she couldn't diagnose him as he's still too ill with this cold and it might not be an accurate assessment. It's so frustrating. He gets over one thing (after weeks and weeks of being ill!!) and picks something else up immediately Sad

SunshineAndFizz · 15/07/2022 16:45

My DD had LOADS of illnesses when she started nursery - coughs, colds and at one point she was getting an ear infection once a month. I feel your pain.

But she's much better now, yes the odd thing but much less frequent. I think her immune system has developed over time.

Original poster
Notnowbarnaby · 15/07/2022 17:30

@whiskersonkittenss its relentless isn’t it? He has been given a brown inhaler and blue inhaler which has helped but I was hoping it would mean he wouldn’t get any more coughs for a bit as it feels like it’s been constant!
I am hoping this one won’t be too bad.

@SunshineAndFizz it feels like it’s never going to end at the moment. DH thinks we should keep him in so he gets everything and gets over it/l to build his immune system up

OP posts:
Notodaynotever · 15/07/2022 17:42

Our respiratory consultant said he preferred that our toddler wasn't in nursery as the colds kept coming and the viral induced wheeze was unending. At a Childminder there's a smaller pool of bugs. Slightly.

Original poster
Notnowbarnaby · 15/07/2022 17:53

I was wondering about a childminder but didn’t know if it would be any better. He gets most of his social interaction at nursery so I don’t want to deny him that… but it just feels utterly relentless and I don’t know anyone
else who has a toddler who gets sick as often as ours does!

OP posts:
pear6782 · 15/07/2022 17:58

I have two that go to nursery full time. No underlying conditions that we are aware of. They are sick every other week…it honestly feels never ended. One will inevitably pass it on to the other too which makes it worse. So basically, I feel your pain! We have just reduced their sessions in hope that they have more time to recover at home…only time will tell if it’s the right decision. Wouldn’t stop nursery completely though as it’s such a lovely stimulating environment for them with different toys, activities and social interaction.

pear6782 · 15/07/2022 17:58

*never ending

Original poster
Notnowbarnaby · 15/07/2022 18:00

This is the thing. He only goes three mornings a week anyway 🙈
im sorry you’re going through it too @pear6782 it must be even harder with two

OP posts:
Purplehonesty2 · 15/07/2022 18:12

We took our son out for the same reason and used a childminder twice a week. It was one illness after another for months.

He wasn't poorly after that.

Anotherusernamethisweek · 15/07/2022 18:13

I absolutely feel your pain, my DS (18 months) started 2 days a week in April and has been ill ever since. A mix of common colds, a really bad cold with cough and high temp (might have been Covid but all the LFTs were negative), vomiting and diarrhoea bugs, croup that landed him in hospital, and tonsillitis. There hasn't been a whole week where he's been totally well. He's had so much time off nursery that we've still had to pay for obvs. But he has to go because I cannot work with him there. (Also self employed)

Tinkywinkydinkydoo · 15/07/2022 18:16

My Ds of a similar age has had a non stop cough for about 8 weeks, as well as a non stop runny nose. The drs have prescribed an asthma pump and antihistamine medicine as he said his cough is most likely from all the snot going down his throat , and when your windpipe is wet it wrinkles so that’s what make the barking sound. He also coughs a lot more after being outside but still at night. Maybe try some antihistamines and see if he gets better?

SupposeItDoesnt · 15/07/2022 18:21

I would take him out. My daughter has been at preschool since March (when she turned 3) and has never been poorly with anything yet?!

ThreeLittleDots · 15/07/2022 18:23

I would pull him out, no question.

Loics · 15/07/2022 18:29

Sorry, but it is very normal. Frustrating, but normal! We've just had a few illness-free weeks and it felt like such a treat! Mine only attend during term time and the school holidays are great as I know they're much, much less likely to pick a random illness up!

Original poster
Notnowbarnaby · 15/07/2022 18:31

Yes I was kind of thinking he would still be exposed to germs - I take him to soft play, play dates etc but at a rate where he can actually recover from them as opposed to just one after the other.
it just seems to be colds/throat infections and coughs with him, we haven’t had sickness bugs or chicken pox or anything yet thank god - shouldn’t have said that should I?!

DH is adamant we will just have the same thing again when we try again but I was thinking maybe after he’s three early next year we could try again

OP posts:
Whodoiwanttobe · 15/07/2022 18:33

Notnowbarnaby · 15/07/2022 16:22

😭😭😭😭 I was clinging on to the hope that if he’s like this now he would be better come school time.
it’s actually making me wonder if he has some kind of underlying condition because it seems at the upper end of extreme even though the GP said it’s normal. And always a cough!

although he did have full bloods a couple of months ago for something else and nothing was flagged.

I just feel like there’s no point making plans as they always get cancelled or disrupted because he’s poorly and it’s horrible listening to him cough away all the time, it can’t be pleasant for him.

My 4 yo is like this constantly from nursery. Always snotty and coughing. I think it’s normal unfortunately!

Alopeciabop · 15/07/2022 18:45

I had this. 6 months non stop sick. And I got everything too as I have weakness in tonsils. It was awful. Pulled DC out and was much better when they were 3. Still got bugs all the time etc but not so intense usually and a bit of time in between

tineys · 15/07/2022 18:47

I work in the baby room of a nursery and it's a germ pool, every week we have a different kind of illness lol (and that's with non-stop cleaning & disinfecting!). It's definitely been much worse after covid, they all seem to catch everything. It used to be that only the newbies were continuously ill before building up a bit of an immune system, but it just seems they all get it now. There's several children that I've actually never seen without a runny nose bless them. After seeing it firsthand I'd personally pull him out, if you have that choice of course

Original poster
Notnowbarnaby · 15/07/2022 20:22

I think I’m leaning towards it. For the sake of three mornings a week I’m not sure the pros outweigh the cons

OP posts:
MissSparkles81 · 15/07/2022 20:26

I could of written this myself 😞my wee girl started nursery in December and she has been ill constantly. We have no family so need the nursery!

I'm so fed up with it all too.

Original poster
Notnowbarnaby · 15/07/2022 20:30

It’s soul destroying isn’t it @MissSparkles81 we don’t have anyone else to look after him either

OP posts:
Annfr · 15/07/2022 20:32

I don't think you're being unreasonable, I just wouldn't do it.

Our daughter started at 1 and was almost constantly ill. She's now nearly 3 and has been mainly fine for maybe a year or more?

To me the benefits far outweigh it.

lancsgirl85 · 15/07/2022 20:33

Notnowbarnaby · 15/07/2022 17:53

I was wondering about a childminder but didn’t know if it would be any better. He gets most of his social interaction at nursery so I don’t want to deny him that… but it just feels utterly relentless and I don’t know anyone
else who has a toddler who gets sick as often as ours does!

Dd (15 months) is constantly sick, has a new viral infection every 4-5 weeks (since November last year). We've had several GP and A&E trips. She's at a childminder not a nursery, btw, so it's no better. And the constant bugs started literally 2 days after her first taster session at the childminder last November.