To want bills to be split 60/40

[Soggycrisps]

Mine and and my husband's finances are all over the place. I pay for child care and food he pays for mortgage and bills. My family expenses are a little more that his.

I don't want us to have a joint account that we both just use because we have different spending habits. But I do want us to have a fair way of contributing to the household bills.

We have a joint account which I'm going to suggest all bills come out of. Let's say the family bill comes to £2000 per month.

I work 20 hours and the rest of my weeks is taken up with childcare we have 2 children. He works 40 hours a week.

Roughly our pro rata is the same. He earns £34,000 I earn £28000 per year actually not prorata.

I think he should pay £1200 and I pay £800 according to the ratio of what we both work rather than what we earn. Does that seem fair?

I’d look at it round the other way…salaries and earring will change over your marriage as will your outgoings so you have to start thinking that you are mutually responsible for your outgoings.

make a budget for each year. Lists all your essential spends. Make sure you include everything . That include pensions, paying off debts etc Agree and compromise on things you include then that are less essentials but part of your standard of living for things you do as a family - eating out, days out, veinings out, gyms, holidays. Things that you’d say aren’t essentials but pretty fundamental

also calculate a essential budget for your own personal care and grooming..clothing, cosmetic hair etc. for women that is always higher (pink tax). But it should be just for essential not to fund your personal shoes habit, Botox habit or manicure habit.

play all your income into your joint account. Pay your outgoing budgetted items you’ve agreed direct form that. These are basic stuff. Always must come first

then you have your own single accounts. For the essential personal care and grooming pay that amount to each of you so you have full control over it individually.

Then if there is anything left ( which will vary over your lifetimes) you split it in ratio you are earring and pay that into your own accounts to do with as you like, unless one of you is stay at home parent in which case it’s 50:50 as that isn’t paid work but is work of same value.

budgetting is essential. If his spending habits are different form yours you are going to have to really sit down and agree that budget and what you agree is essential vs part of what your standard of living expectations are vs personal spends you can blow your own money on

you are married, everything you have is a joint marital asset. It matters not a jot where the money is sitting at the end of the day. What matters is that you start communicating and agreeing how you spend your money and when and why

Well tbh with the rapid rising energy bills in a couple of months I think he will be paying alot more then you soon

That's how the world works darling. You sound very entitled, bet your DH can't wait for a divorce.

Do that then. It shouldn't be off of how many hours you do if him working more hours means you pay less yet you earn more per hour. That makes no sense. You split based on income as it is a financial transaction.

Good god!
No, that’s not how it works ‘darling’
Do you engage your brain and critical thinking before you respond?

That’s how it works in our house. Monthly household bills are out of the joint account. I contribute 40% he doesn’t 60% as he earns more. Food shops are 50/50 split along with all atoned expense so a takeaway or day out, he will always pay me back his half. Other adhoc expenses like replacing household goods or DIY are generally 50/50 but at times he will pay if I’m a bit short