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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have covid tested my child

36 replies

DIYandEatCake · 15/07/2022 07:38

Dd, age 11 and year 6, woke up yesterday with a temperature, headache and aching legs. I got her to do a lateral flow test as she was worried it might be covid. It was positive. Today is her big end of year 6 ‘fun day’ (bouncy castles, circus workshops, picnic etc etc) and she’s totally inconsolable about missing it. DH has pointed out, in front of her, that shes only missing the fun day because I tested her, we shouldn’t have tested, that there will be lots of other children at school unknowingly with covid and he thinks she should still go in. She’s not 100% but feeling a lot better than yesterday, no temperature. I think we should keep her off (tested again this morning at her request and it’s still strongly positive). Who’s being unreasonable here - am I unreasonable to have tested her and be keeping her home?

OP posts:
Raindancer411 · 15/07/2022 07:40

No it's responsible. Yes there maybe some but you are helping to prevent spreading it. Some of those children will be seeing possibly vulnerable people soon.

I would have done the same :)

EarringsandLipstick · 15/07/2022 07:40

YANBU.

Of course you were right to test her. It's rubbish for her, I get it, but Covid poses a serious risk for some people, and the idea that we should ignore that in favour of our own personal preferences is wrong.

I'm sore for your poor DD tho

Ntsure · 15/07/2022 07:40

I don't think you should have tested her, it's not a requirement anymore and children have missed out on enough.
so long as she doesn't have a temperature and isn't unwell I'd send her in

MsMcGonagall · 15/07/2022 07:46

of course you're right OP. With those symptoms it's sensible to test.

"too much testing" was what Trump was saying in 2020 - stop testing then it won't look like people have covid. So that's your DH's argument.

Of course you shouldn't send her into school. it's sad that she's upset but it's honestly not fair on anyone else there.

AgnesNaismith · 15/07/2022 07:47

You should have tested her. You should not send her in as it will ruin the first summer holiday abroad many of those families will have had since 2019.

PaperTyger · 15/07/2022 07:49

It's so hard!
We had something similar a few weeks ago, dd missed out on Amazing day and DH told me off for testing!

She barely had symptoms and they lasted a few Hours! She was bouncing around like normal.

I felt so bad for her. Then a friend who lives in a city got COVID and was merrily out and about with it.

MRex · 15/07/2022 07:51

It's a real shame she's missing out, but if she's infectious then better not to spread it. Yes, most people will catch it soon who haven't already, but you don't want to be the one responsible.

Siameasy · 15/07/2022 07:54

If DC felt well enough to get on with her day and you tested her then yes it was silly. You kind of shot yourself in the foot.

ColettesEarrings · 15/07/2022 07:57

We're not supposed to test under 18s unless told to by a health professional. However given that you did and its positive, you really should keep her off now.

Sugarplumfairy65 · 15/07/2022 07:59

You did the right thing. Now carry on doing the right thing and don't send them to school. My local hospital is struggling again with Covid admissions

WorkEventing · 15/07/2022 07:59

I wouldn’t send her because of the temperature yesterday, regardless of why she had it. It’s not a good day to be bouncing around in the heat.

parenthood1989 · 15/07/2022 08:00

I think you did the right thing. I'm still testing before I see my elderly relative who I partially care for (as in she needs some care, not full care. No one else is involved). This means before I go away for any trips I have to test because I have to see her the day before. It's a risk that I could be positive and miss out on my plans, but at the same time making sure I'm negative before swing my relative is more important.

I would offer your DD a special day/treat she can plan for when she is feeling better though

girlmom21 · 15/07/2022 08:01

I don't think id have bothered testing her but it's done now. Tell her you'll find an inflatable activity centre to take her to over the summer.

ClassSize2022 · 15/07/2022 08:01

You were right OP. Lots of people heading off on holidays soon and meeting Grandparents etc.

BogRollBOGOF · 15/07/2022 08:03

With plausible symptoms, I can understand testing.

I had Covid prior to DS's induction days. I will not test my children as assymptomatic contacts and fortunately (once again) he was symptom free. I was seriously concerned about the possibility of missing induction particularly because he has ASD and that would put him on a major backfoot in September (it was crap enough missing half of mine for a close family funeral)

It's very frustrating missing a fun day, but after the weekend she should be free to crack on as normal.

I found that I had the energy for flat 2-3 mile walks so went out to quiet spaces with no close contact, but swerved events like the local fête.

Footbal · 15/07/2022 08:04

You did thr right thing. As a previous poster stated your DD could have spead it to other kids and ruined a family holiday over the next couple of weeks for multiple people.

FlamingoQueen · 15/07/2022 08:09

Of course you were right to test her if she has symptoms (and you have testing kits). If she has COVID, she needs to stay off school. It’s not just the other children, what about the teacher, TA and anyone else she comes into contact with? This could ruin the start of the school holidays for so many people.
Please, do not send her to school, for the sake of everyone else.

Wynston · 15/07/2022 08:10

highly likely its in her class already id let her go.

Namechangeno25788 · 15/07/2022 08:15

You were right to test and right to keep her off school. It’s shit for everyone but the pandemic is definitely not over given the current figures and all the talk of possible further restrictions being brought back in over the coming winter. Plus I’m hearing loads of people that have had it, have it worst this time round so it’s not getting milder either.
I tested positive nearly 3 weeks ago, fully vaccinated, not high risk and still feel bloody awful now, and am still off work. It started off as a bit of a sore throat and a headache when I woke up, but I was broken by lunchtime and ended up in A&E last week. You did the right thing.

TidyDancer · 15/07/2022 08:22

You did the right thing OP. You know you did. It's shit for your DD but perhaps you can take her on a nice day out once she's well again.

Helldiddleydingdongcrap · 15/07/2022 08:28

I agree with your DH to be honest, but now you’ve tested you’ve kind of boxed yourselves in so what can you do? Your poor DD 😢

IcedOatLatte · 15/07/2022 08:54

girlmom21 · 15/07/2022 08:01

I don't think id have bothered testing her but it's done now. Tell her you'll find an inflatable activity centre to take her to over the summer.

Is it not about being able to celebrate the last day at primary school, the rite of passage rather than the bouncing? I don't think I would have tested either, the most likely place that she contracted covid was school, a day of outdoor fun isn't going to make much difference to the chances of everyone else involved catching it.

If she's a child that would enjoy the day then I feel sorry for her and am with your DH on this one, my children still remember their end of primary school special activities

Ontomatopea · 15/07/2022 09:51

If she was worried about it then yes you did the right thing

PurpleDaisies · 15/07/2022 09:53

Not testing wouldn’t mean she magically didn’t have covid. You absolutely did the right thing.

Chickychoccyegg · 15/07/2022 09:54

I wouldn't have been testing in your situation,its a shame your dd now needs to miss out, when there'll no doubt be others also there with covid, I'm with dh on this

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