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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed with teacher

39 replies

shuz1980 · 14/07/2022 16:10

My son (6) came out of school today really upset. He lost his little key chain he has on his book bag. He said when he told the teacher she said 'not my problem'. Aibu to be really annoyed with her response to ds?

OP posts:
alphapie · 14/07/2022 16:12

YABU

firstly, they are correct, it's not their problem.

I'd also ask again what the teacher actually said, children (and adults) are known to paraphrase, and the result can be very different to what was actually said.

ButterflyBitch · 14/07/2022 16:14

While not the politest way of putting it, it’s not her problem is it? Surely toys/keychains/anything else children bring in is brought in at their own risk? It’s not up to the teacher to look after kids stuff. It would have been nice if she’d asked the class if anyone had seen it or helped look for it but this close to the end of term I’m not surprised she was grumpy about it. There are so many other things that teachers have to deal
with right now.

Fairislefandango · 14/07/2022 16:15

Yeah that's a bit blunt to a 6yo. I'd wonder if she really only said that, or if there werr mitigating circumstances (e.g. he'd been messing about with it repeatedly and she'd told him not to or he'd lose it etc). Or maybe she was a bit at the end of her tether! If it's a one-off I wouldn't be too up-in-arms tbh.

Saragossa · 14/07/2022 16:15

She's right, it's not her problem. Children lose stuff all the time, and it's not the teacher's job to find lost items.

viques · 14/07/2022 16:19

Yes. It’s hot, she has had thirty hot sweaty kids telling her they are hot and sweaty all day, it’s the end of term, she has a million loose ends to tie up before school finishes, she is probably desperate for a cup of tea and a wee and isn’t inclined to start a classroom search for a key chain bearing in mind the chain has probably broken so it could be anywhere in the known world where your child has walked over the past few days. Unless the key chain was carrying the keys to the Tower of London then I don’t see why she should be interested. Maybe she could have said it a little kinder but that possibly depends on how your child phrased what he said to her.

Sprogonthetyne · 14/07/2022 16:21

We have had about 5 messages this term reminding parents not to let kids bring toys or personal items in, and that if they did it was at our own risk. From this I'm inferring that they are very sick of looking for lost items and dealing with upset kids. If that is also the case in your DS's school, then I kind of understand the sentiment, though it does sound a bit blunt for a 6 year old

Cryingbutstilltrying · 14/07/2022 16:22

I think I would wonder if that was actually what she said.
If so, yes it’s blunt, but it’s true.
DS primary school have said from day 1 that anything coming to school is at own risk. No toys, precious things, etc etc.
The teacher has plenty else to be dealing with, this really isn’t her problem.

PleasantBirthday · 14/07/2022 16:29

Well, it's probably the 956th thing that has gone missing that children are somehow holding her responsible for today. I'd be exasperated too. At some point, a bit of reality about expectations (such as teacher is like mummy) doesn't hurt.

IslandGardens · 14/07/2022 16:32

YAB sooooooo U 😆

Yes she was blunt but the world doesn’t revolve around your DS. Good to learn this as early as possible. It’s a life lesson

Mally100 · 14/07/2022 16:40

Yabu, it's a bit blunt but I can imagine by the end of this blistering day she is done with all these annoying little things. How is she to know where every little thing is. And besides that, he shouldn't be bringing toys and such stuff to school. It is his problem if it's lost.

PyjamaFan · 14/07/2022 16:49

Well it's not!

YABU

marcopront · 14/07/2022 17:23

What response did you want?

"Yes I'll delay going home to help you look for something small that you lost"

PolkadotsAndMoonbeams · 14/07/2022 17:26

Some schools ask for a key ring to be put on so children can recognise their bags more easily — it isn't always a choice to take something personal in.

I think she was probably hot and bothered and was a bit sharper than necessary. Hopefully it will turn up.

beautifulworldwhereareyou · 14/07/2022 17:27

Awww that is a bit blunt. I feel sad thinking about your DS losing a something special to him and being told that. God I am hypocritical though because I would probably say something similar to my UKS2 kids if they caught me at the wrong moment, but then they’re 10 - but still little!
This has made me think I need to make sure I’m extra nice in the face of all the heat and end of term stress.

R1408 · 14/07/2022 17:28

It was a bit blunt but she was probably a bit stressed and busy?

She could have said "sorry to hear that, but that's why children shouldn't bring precious things to school".

Nothing you can do about it though, so I'd just shrug it off.

easyday · 14/07/2022 17:29

Wow people! 'Not my problem' and 'I'm sorry it may turn up' are just as easy to say.
I couldn't care less she's got 30 hot kids. It's her job.
Teachers are role models. She's now taught the kid that she doesn't care, she has no empathy, that's it's fine to be rude. Gold star!

beautifulworldwhereareyou · 14/07/2022 17:29

marcopront · 14/07/2022 17:23

What response did you want?

"Yes I'll delay going home to help you look for something small that you lost"

Well no but she could have said “that’s a shame hopefully it will turn up” - literally doesn’t take any more time.
I always give the “this is why we don’t bring things to school” line.

Tribb · 14/07/2022 17:32

It's a PITA when children bring something in from home.

They cry when they lose it somewhere.

They cry when other children touch it.

They cry when it inevitably gets broken or damaged.

And then there's the arguments when they accuse someone of stealing it.

"Not my problem" was probably quite restrained under the circumstances.

YABU

50mg · 14/07/2022 17:32

It's not her problem and realistically there's not much she could do anyway, but that's no way for an adult in a professional capacity to speak to a child.

I'd wonder if you've heard the full story though.

KilmordenCastle · 14/07/2022 17:36

YABVU

Of course it's not the teachers problem. Did you expect her to help him look for it?

Kids lose stuff all the time, that's life. I tell my 6yo dd that anything she chooses to take to school that is not a labelled school item is her responsibility and if she loses it then tough luck.

Consider it a life lesson for your ds.

VincaBlue · 14/07/2022 17:36

It's a bit blunt but she was probably hot and frazzled and had enough.

RedHelenB · 14/07/2022 17:37

shuz1980 · 14/07/2022 16:10

My son (6) came out of school today really upset. He lost his little key chain he has on his book bag. He said when he told the teacher she said 'not my problem'. Aibu to be really annoyed with her response to ds?

Yes. There really isn't time in a school day to search for it.

Dancingwithhyenas · 14/07/2022 17:37

I taught for years and if you talk like this to children you shouldn’t be surprised if they are rude back. I’m a big believer that we treat children with respect then we can ask for respect. So even if I felt it wasn’t a serious issue and I didn’t have time to search, I would have made a suggestion for how/when they could look themselves (politely!).

Having said that we are all human and it’s flipping hot. So was this an out of character moment of ‘snap’ - forgiveable
or
was it indictative or her overal attitude to children I.e not treating them the way you would treat any other person.

itsgettingweird · 14/07/2022 17:38

She's right it isn't!!!

Do you honestly think she has time to find trinkets taken into school on a daily basis 🤣🤣🤣

12cats · 14/07/2022 17:40

Some people seem to think teachers should be responsible for everything. It's not blunt, it's matter of fact and still a waste of a teacher's time.