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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What would you think to say?

65 replies

Giraffe235 · 14/07/2022 13:14

i have been trying to arrange another meet up with the man I am seeing. We’ve been seeing each other for just over two months. He said he would see me this week but so far hasn’t so I asked if he could do this evening. He said ‘hopefully, I will yes’ what would you think to this?

OP posts:
Original poster
Giraffe235 · 14/07/2022 20:01

Im not sure what he wants to do. It’s been a while since he took me on a date. We have had maybe 5. Since then it’s just been mine or his house

OP posts:
Original poster
Giraffe235 · 14/07/2022 20:01

The last two times he has cancelled on me coming to his though

OP posts:
Ontomatopea · 14/07/2022 20:20

Giraffe235 · 14/07/2022 20:01

The last two times he has cancelled on me coming to his though

You can do better. I don't even know you, but you can do better.

DrManhattan · 14/07/2022 20:52

Sooooo married

MarshaMelrose · 14/07/2022 20:56

The bad back comment usually comes after you're married.

Triffid1 · 14/07/2022 20:59

So a few dates and now he comes to yours, presumably for sex? And occasionally he lets you go to his but mostly not. I'm assuming because if you're coming over he has to provide food and drink and/or can't just get up and leave when he feels like it.

This is a FWB situation for him.

catandcoffee · 14/07/2022 21:04

OP surely you deserve more than a few dates and a quick bit of sex as and when he decides. 🤔

Tothemoonandbackx · 14/07/2022 22:14

I've just been through TWO YEARS of this!!!!!! TWO long exhausting, emotionally crippling, mentally damaging years of this exact crap. Pleeeeease don't put up with this, it is so easy to walk away after only two months!!!!!!!

Zerrin13 · 14/07/2022 23:07

Why are you continually trying to give him something that he doesn't appreciate?

Labourious · 14/07/2022 23:09

"Hopefully doth butter no parsnips"

Original poster
Giraffe235 · 14/07/2022 23:27

I’ve told him I won’t be available tomorrow and he was questioning why and now being very off with me which says a lot

OP posts:
KettrickenSmiled · 14/07/2022 23:30

Giraffe235 · 14/07/2022 20:01

Im not sure what he wants to do. It’s been a while since he took me on a date. We have had maybe 5. Since then it’s just been mine or his house

He's just not putting the effort in.

He thinks he has you where he wants you - at his beck & call, put-downable & instantly pick-uppable (note how he doesn't bother to check if your are free of it;s convenient - just assumes you will drop anything to be available to him).

When a man makes you feel insecure, it's not your job to chase him for reassurance. It;s your job to look after YOU. I think you could cheerfully chuck this one back OP. He's flaky AF, & too keen on getting the upper hand by undermining your confidence.

KettrickenSmiled · 14/07/2022 23:35

Giraffe235 · 14/07/2022 23:27

I’ve told him I won’t be available tomorrow and he was questioning why and now being very off with me which says a lot

How would it feel if you gave him both barrels for being off with you for being unavailable, when he withdraws whenever he feels like it? Your are not this man;s private convenience.

Imagine telling him how unattractive his attitude is, that you dislike his questioning & expecting you to be 100% available to HIM, when he is so rubbish about confirming dates himself ... & that you are no longer prepared to put up with his flakiness & hypocrisy. Would that feel good?

longcoffeebreak · 14/07/2022 23:47

BIN him off

bigspoonlittlespoon · 15/07/2022 00:07

Just get rid

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