Driving very slow

[Turefu]

Too slow, way too slow. I was doing 40 mph on double carriage way today. How pathetic and dangerous is that?! I'm too scared to speed up. I don't understand what's happened. I've never been great driver, but I used to drive fairly normal. Now is bad. Really bad. I drive so slow and dangerous. I asked my DH to drive with me today. He said I'm danger on road. He's not wrong. I need to get over it. But I have no idea how.

Can you do a couple of lessons with an instructor?

Can you book yourself on an advanced driving course? Or even just a few refresher lessons? So that you get your confidence back. Was there any incident which precipitated this? Would it help to have some counselling, if so?

I think you need to take some lessons with an instructor to build your confidence. Driving that slowly really is dangerous. You will cause an accident sooner or later. You’ve recognised that it’s a problem and at least you can do something about it. Do you drive well below the limit on all roads or just on dual carriageways?

Have you had an eye test recently? If not, might be an idea to have one to rule out any eye problems.

And yes, book some lessons with an instructor.

What was the speed limit?

I think you need a driving instructor.

Look for an instructor that advertises refresher lessons and try to challenge yourself slightly e.g. up your speed by 2 mph each time you drive.

70mph as it was a dual carriageway.

I was thinking that too. Definitely worth checking.

@PinkButtercups

70mph as it was a dual carriageway.

70mph is the national speed limit for a dual carriageway. Not all dual carriageways are national speed limit.

You must know why you can’t drive at an appropriate speed? I can’’t drive at night because I literally can’t see Jack shit.
Just be honest.

I can't drive faster because I'm scared, nervous. When there's vehicle coming up from the other side I'm slowing down until they pass. I just don't feel I've got control over the vehicle while I'm driving over 50 mph, when I occasionally do.

You need some refresher lessons. You need to drive to the speed of the road (traffic & conditions depending obviously)

40mph on a dual carriageway, you will be the cause an accident. Either speed up or get off these roads & use town roads.
Can your dh take you out at night when the roads are quieter? I built up a lot of confidence by driving at night when doing my lessons. I was a nervous learner. Your issues can be overcome with some time in the car either with an instructor or someone you trust. Stick to slower roads in the meantime

Being a dual carriageway doesn't mean it is a 70mph road.
Plenty of them around here are now 30, and I can think of some that are 20.

How old are you?

If you are feeling nervous then some additional lessons may help. Most driving schools or instructors offer something like “pass plus” tuition, which is designed to take you from passing your test to being a more confident driver.

I'm 45.

You need some lessons

It's not so much the speed, but combined with that sort of anxiety can make you unpredictable and an accident risk

The other thing is have you tired driving another car? Have you always been like this

You shouldn’t be on the road driving like that. Get some refresher instructor lessons before you get back in a car.

Losing confidence in driving is a recognised symptom of menopause/perimenopause. At 45 you are in the age category. Google a check list of symptoms and talk to your gp if you can

@Nutsabouttopic that’s why I asked for OP’s age

This sounds random but I am a little older and became really anxious driving. For me it came with some other symptoms and I decided to try hrt for perimenopause. I definitely have regained a lot of my confidence after a few months.

Im 47 and in the last few years I’ve started to hate driving. But i have to. My confidence is there but since lockdown I’ve realised how bad other drivers are. Complete knobheads. So if i can avoid driving i do.

get some lessons and don’t let it stop you driving and having freedom

Yeah ok, that’s technically true in some cases. but for the purposes of the OP’s post, she’s saying she’s driving too slow on a dual carriageway at 40mph. Which clearly means others are going faster, and it’s likely to be NSL. Why do folk have to focus on this bit and not get the overall sense of her post?!

Could you avoid dual carriage ways for now until you build up more confidence, practice on quieter roads until your fear response dies down a bit

If she needs to practice driving at speed, which quieter roads would you suggest?