Driving very slow

[Turefu]

Too slow, way too slow. I was doing 40 mph on double carriage way today. How pathetic and dangerous is that?! I'm too scared to speed up. I don't understand what's happened. I've never been great driver, but I used to drive fairly normal. Now is bad. Really bad. I drive so slow and dangerous. I asked my DH to drive with me today. He said I'm danger on road. He's not wrong. I need to get over it. But I have no idea how.

Please don't drive on these sorts of roads until you have addressed the issue. Driving at 40mph in 70mph traffic (I'm assuming) is so dangerous - you will cause an accident.

First stop - see your GP to rule out any underlying health issues and to discuss the anxiety. Next stop, find a kind driving instructor that can give you some confidence-boosting lessons.

I second the idea of having some lessons with an instructor (iirc you'll have to advanced courses as you have a license)

It's great you've recognised it's a danger the speed you are driving but also the fact you're anxious too.

But recognising a problem is always the first step to being able to try and solve it.

I went through this during lockdown.

I think for me it was generalised anxiety. I was holding life together well, but for some reason driving was the pressure value. I went slower, I became sweaty and panicked. Almost panic attacks . I remember telling my husband about crazy junctions, being stuck in lane etc. I genuinely saw roads on top of each other in my panic, lanes were suddenly narrow and one road in the forest I was doing 30 on because of scary drops at the side.

Two years on I can see now the junctions are normal, half a mile apart joining traffic. Lanes are fine to pass in and the ‘drops’ are a metre or two! It’s so weird how I actually saw it.

For me the biggest thing was driving, rather than getting deeper and deeper in my restrictive patterns. I went out on the motorway at 6/7am Sunday when it was empty, drove a few junctions, handled the car a few times. It helped calm me loads. I made myself drive the routes I avoided. I’d been doing less and less in a vicious circle, and it got me back to normal.

Also, take your car for a service. My tyres were a bit too worn and a
small engine issue was slightly affecting handling. It was a little off at high speed (dh said it wasn’t and I listened 🙄). Now the wheels are balanced and the engine is working under load it’s handling beautifully. Obviously that makes high speed a lot easier!

Don’t worry this is it- I was a nightmare 2 years ago. Almost unable to drive and now I’m better than ever, totally comfortable using all lanes on the motorway and confidant/ aware.

I am 37. I’ve lost my confidence in driving too. I think it was lockdown. I force myself to do it (and will drive to the speed limit) but I hate every minute of it.

Just get some lessons. No shame in it.

I'd rather more people did what you are doing than continue driving. I see a lot of people driving around at 40 everywhere, including 20 and 30 areas. They won't speed up nor slow down, 40 is their speed. So dangerous. But they won't accept that, there's probably some on here that do it and think it's totally normal. At least you realise you're a danger, to yourself and others.

Definitely stay off the roads. Going 40mph on a national speed limit duel carriage way or motor way it's incredibly dangerous. You'll frustrate other drivers and will sooner or later cause an accident.

Can you go out very early on a Sunday morning when it's just light and the roads are empty to practice?

Or get some pass plus lessons?

But remember you're far more likely to cause a crash doing what you're doing now than driving at / just below the speed limit.

Please don't drive until your confidence improves as you're a danger to everyone.

What are you scared of? Are you scared of losing control? Crashing?

You need to avoid the fast roads until you've had some lessons. If you caused an accident you'll never forgive yourself. How you haven't been pulled over is beyond me.

Make a phone call today, find a driving school.

Thank you for all replies. I live in semi-rural area, going to the town few miles away on the slow road is not a problem. But speed is. I'm anoxious to drive fast. I've been working from home for over the year now, but just recently it changed and I'm required to go to the office twice per week. Office is 30 miles away in a big city and driving on the slow roads , taking 90 minutes one way is not viable long term. I need to address my driving anxiety.

To be fair, the OP won't cause an accident, an impatient or inattentive driver behind her will cause an accident. That doesn't mean that it's ok to do 40mph on a 60 or 70 road though. It's annoying enough getting caught behind someone doing 50 on one of our local dual carriageway roads which has a 60 limit.

As for being pulled over, there are hardly any police around.

OP I agree that getting a couple of refresher lessons might help. Also agree about making sure car is in good condition, if slightly soft or worn tyres mean the car handles differently, it can affect your confidence.

I still can't quite grasp what you are scared of. Please get some driving instructor lessons. And contact GP re your anxiety.

Do you have any other symptoms of peri menopause, being anxious about stuff was a major one for me. Getting my oestrogen levels back up reall6 helped.

Someone else may cause an accident, but being where op is on the road at the time when they over take, she could quite easily be caught up in the accident too. So going slow might seem safer, but you're likely to end up in the accident too, so it's not safer.

Lorry doing 59 pulls out to overtake OP. Vehicles doing 70 either have to overtake the lorry (if there is another lane) or brake hard to reduce speed. That ripples back. Odds are the other cars haven’t spotted OP because of said lorry so no opportunity for them to have anticipated the situation. If OP weren’t going 20 miles slower than the lorries that wouldn’t be a risk.

(If OP’s speedo reads 40 odds are she may actually be doing 37 - that’s half the motorway NSL.)

@OverTheHillAndDownTotherSide lorries overtaking is a fairly common occurrence, a lorry pulling out should not cause an accident.

If a lorry pulling out causes someone to slam on their brakes thats on the lorry. If a driver didn't anticipate that a lorry may want to overtake they are a complete liability and should get off the roads

There are slow vehicles on dual carriageways, tractors, horse boxes, cars with space saver tires on etc. Theres always chance of debris or a broken down vehicle in the lane, especially with smart motorways

Its not particularly safe for OP as the chances are that drivers aren't going to be paying attention, but if a driver didn't anticipate the chance of a lorry overtaking or a slow vehicle/obstruction thats really on them

What is a GP going to do for driving anxiety? I assume you also know that it's nearly impossible to see a GP currently! If you didn't, you do now.

Because it makes them feel all special and superior to correct others.

Because it makes them feel all special and superior to correct others.

I just asked what the limit was, I wasn't trying to correct anyone. In my local area the majority are 40mph, with some 50mph and only 2 that are 70mph. I appreciate I missed the implication it was NSL in the OP but that's was all. I don't feel special or superior. I feel a bit stupid for not being able to read the post effectively.