Cat as a present

[Meromb]

Wondering whether or not I'm being unreasonable. If I am not, could you please help me convince my husband, what should I say to him?

My BIL's birthday is in a few days. DH and I were discussing gift ideas. My BIL loves cats and DH suggested we get him one.

Thing is my BIL's wife doesn't want a cat. DH says if she doesn't want it then it can stay at MIL's.
MIL is scared of cats and doesn't want to have one. He even asked her earlier today and she said no.

He still wants to go ahead with it.
I think it's a terrible idea and unkind to everyone as well as the cat.

He thinks the cat will grow on his mum and that he will be loved and taken care of anyways.
He is adamant. He has a tendency to want to do things that will create a reaction. A wow factor that makes people say "that's typical of DH". Im usually on board with his ideas and they tend to be really fun but I think this is too far as it involves a living being.

AIBU?

Who on earth are the 2% of voters who think you're being unreasonable? Just what the hell is wrong with them?

No! Pets are a commitment, something to be discussed and not thrust upon unwilling family members! Saying that I did once but exH a cat for his birthday - but we chose her together and she was a well thought out, much wanted Cat, I paid the adoption fee As the ‘gift’ but a totally different scenario.

The ones who've taken the title as the AIBU - a cat as a present is obviously unreasonable.

Thank goodness the OPs idiotic DH has seen sense.

It's never a good idea to give an animal as a present. Get BiL either a book about cats, something with cats on it (like a lampshade or a blanket) or a lovely toy cat (you can get some very cuddle-able ones). No doubt you would get the blame from other members of the family if DH goes ahead with his plan. There are also holidays to consider - what would happen then? It's really bad idea to give a cat, and it rather sounds as though DH is trying to stir things up for some reason.

I once gave someone a dog as a gift, however :

• That person had expressed on multiple occasions her desire for a dog


• That person lived alone, not with someone who dislikes animals


• Most importantly, we ASKED her before buying the dog if she wanted it, and she agreed (we were hoping to help her feel better as she'd just lost a loved one and were thinking taking care of another living being could help her move forward).

I would never gift anyone an animal if all of the above conditions were not met.

My husband wants a dog. I do not. My husband understands and respects my point of view but is disappointed. I would be livid if someone gave my husband a dog and insist it was returned. My reasons are:

1. Cost


2. 2 kids who are semi frightened of dogs. My eldest has been bitten on the face by a dog as a toddler.


3. I dislike dogs


4. I would end up being the one who takes care of said dog even though I didn't want the dog in the first place. eg feeding, buying food, taking to vet, walking, picking up poo, bathing, training


5. We have a resident cat


6. We have no garden for a dog to do dog things in


7. We rent and if we have to move finding a new place with a dog will be difficult

I would be seriously disgusted if anyone decided to disregard my reasons and take it upon themselves to override them. I'm glad your DH saw sense and isn't getting the cat.

He's an idiot.

Never give a sentiant being as a gift.

Just brings misery to everyone.

Your husband is a twat. And I would want to choose my own cat.

At my sister's 10th birthday party one of her friends presented her with a tortoise in a shoebox. I can still remember the "behind the scenes" horror from our parents (and I was only 7). My sister seemed a bit bemused ( she was never a child who craved a pet). We had Wilberforce (latterly me due to suitable garden) for another 45 years.

No, pets are a long commitment. Cats can live up to 15 years. You never gift one. I love cats but I wouldn't have another one again, because its a commitment. You can't decide to go away at the weekend, unless you book some one to feed it. Catterys are very expensive but nessicary, when going on holiday. You might find the cat ends up at the rescue centre. If he loves cats, what about a ďonation to a cat charity in his name?