To think Alan could just kill the bloody mouse?

[Alanisadick]

Some of you may remember my thread last year (under a different name) from Alan’s kittenhood, about how the dirty little bastard kept pissing in the house, largely in reusable shopping bags. Thankfully those days are over but now I have an objectively worse problem.

Anyhoo, him and his sister Hattie have recently got into murdering things. It started with giant worms, and now what I’m getting is mice, shrews, birds and even a fucking massive frog. My wheely bin has become a morgue for the local wildlife.

Get a cat they say, then you’ll never have a problem with mice! WRONG. I never had a single mouse in the house until those two little feckers came along. And now, one of their victims escaped and has been having a rare old in my kitchen for about 3 months now. There’s mouse shit in the cupboards and drawers (thankfully not in any of the food cupboards), and recently when I opened a little used drawer, the mouse back flipped out of the drawer onto the floor and scarpered away. Proper jump scare. DD2 saw it last week sat under the boiler on the worktop.

Why those two furry little eejits don’t just kill it, I don’t know. Instead they bring me yet more mice in and murder them. Every time I find a dead one I hope it’s kitchen mouse but sadly not.

So, long story short, how do I get rid of this bastard mouse? The cats are clearly not going to help me out here. I will caveat this by saying I am quite literally petrified of mice and I’m a single parent. I know the options, old school traps, humane traps, poison. None of them sound good when you’re very scared of mice. I think poison is out because I do actually love the useless cats and don’t want to poison them. I’ve read that humane traps are actually the least humane thing to do as if you take a mouse out of its territory it will just die a horrible death. So do I have to get a Tom & Jerry style head snapper? I don’t want to but also I don’t want a mouse in the house really.

Photo of Alan for reference, he’s not quite the full ticket in his defence.

If it's one mouse - get a humane trap .it's not likely to be a"house" mouse .

I regularly used to take mice off my cats. And voles. And shrews . And birds .

And release into the local allotment.

I had a rat in my kitchen last year. I bought a cam and could see it and looked really cute. However, my pest controller killed it using poisoned grains in the sewer.

They can do a lot of damage to your property, they multiply and it can be dangerous. Chewing through cables etc. the droppings too.

The other day I noticed that there have been something eating the biscuits and flour. So I’ve set a snap trap there and also bought some rat poison like the pest control man had. In my case they come in through the sewers and pipes and into the loft and then through the cavity to wherever.

@Alanisadick don’t start me on rats!
Same cat, Katie bought in a rat. I had in on the palm of my hand mourning it’s untimely death.
Until xh said to me “what is it?” I said “it’s a mouse, Katie killed it” to which he replied “what sort of fucking size mouse is that!”

And I heard the Penny drop as I realised I was holding a rat.

Katie also bought home a bat, a mole and a pork chop. But not all on the same day.

They are cute and don't bite !

That's one my cat dragged in . ! They are just little wood mice .

@ThreeblackCats lols at the pork chop. Before they got into murdering, mine bought me a floret of broccoli. It was freshly cut, Christ only knows the story behind that. I can only imagine they nicked it from inside someone’s house via their cat flap.

I thought mine had brought a mole in the other day. Got up at 7am, could see my girl cat lying in the hallway at the bottom of the stairs, poking her paw at a big dark coloured thing. I started freaking out and thinking shit, that’s the bloody mole that keeps hissing at dd2 when she’s on her trampoline at night. Dd2 came out of her room and saw me panicking at the top of the stairs, I said I think the cats have got a mole. She peered down the stairs and said “mum, that’s my shoe”. Right enough it was a black Air Force 1 😂😂. But with a recently deceased mouse underneath it.

Wait…moles hiss??

😳

Yes apparently they do! Dd2 gave me a bit of a sketchy description of the thing that was hissing at her, then I saw the mole hill, did some googling, found out they do indeed hiss, and joined the dots from there. They are not fans of late night trampolining (don’t blame them, it’s really annoying).

Creepy little bastards

Before you go to bed at night, open all the doors, drawers, cupboards and let those cats have a rare old.

I didn't think they bit until one ungrateful little sod decided to bite me. It then wouldn't let go so was hanging off the end of my finger attached by its teeth. Surprisingly painful!
I no longer pick them up by hand, but I still think they are cute.

It's all happening at your place, OP, useless cats, mice and hissing moles ...

Get another pest controller in. Decent ones will put down poison specifically for use in households with pets. They lay poisoned traps that only rodent-sized creatures can access and eat, and then their bodies metabolise it so that it becomes a less harmful secondary source of 'poison' by the time an Alan eats the dead mouse and not harmful to him or any other lazy predator.

Rats are very clever with poisoning, and if they survive eating it once, they associate the source with the experience, and won't go near it again. There is one poison for mice that makes them go to sleep for longer than their body fat resources last, and because they don't wake up to feed, and have a very fast metabolism, they will just die in their sleep. (You can tell I live in the countryside.)

Mind you, our old cat managed to get hold of the pink sachets of poison from inside the traps and snacked directly on them, cutting out the middleman/mouse. Whatever they tell you, the cat needs emergency vets treatment when that happens, but will be ok if he hasn't eaten too many and he's seen to quickly.

Don't use Rentokil, they charge ridiculous prices and will rip you off.

^This.
You don't want massive vet bills on top of everything.

Be careful if you do use snap traps too...Alan, beauty over brains, might decide to eat whatever bait you use and you don't want him to get hurt.🤦‍♀️

Mine are indoor only now after we twigged boycat had some sort of reaction to something outside. Girl is a natural hunter and loves moths, flies etc...Boy has sawdust for brains. 😻

@yellowbananasinjuly Yeah my friend was saying about poison that is only really dangerous to the thing that originally eats it, and less so to anything that then goes on to eat the thing that died, but the pest control person didn’t seem to know what I was on about. Any ideas what it’s called?

Alan’s sister being a dash-cat today 😍

That's unfortunate grumpy I've taken mice , voles, shrews, birds off our cats for 20 years and never ever been bitten !

Took a little wood mouse of leg next doors cat last week and I always grab them otherwise the cat would run off with them !

Fuck me, Alan really has a rat in a pot there?

Hey, do you have a cat door? Can you set it so he can't come in and out as he wishes, so he's inside when he's normally doing his murdering?

How can you not like these little ratty faces !

Rats are the future I tell ya ! Pocket dogs !

I have cried, and I mean cried laughing at this thread.

Hysterical. His name, the pics of him looking like he has no fucking clue of anything in life whilst also being absolutely gorgeous. Alan is boss 😂

Snappy traps will do the trick - I know they're not nice but it has to be done before they start setting up camp literally fucking everywhere.

Ask a friend to check them if it's easier but those swines have got to go 💪

@Alanisadick yes, you really do need a different pest control person! My one hasn't told me what this poison is called but I don't think it is available to buy for anyone who doesn't have the correct licence. As a piece of kit, not harming other species must be a fairly basic concept, so anyone with the proper qualifications should be very familiar with it. I think it's another different poison, but I do like the idea of wee mice just going to sleep for longer than they can stay alive as it is humane.

Loving your thread by the way! Hattie does look like a very bright cat, not to mention decorative, carrying out her Chief Navigator's role in your car. Good luck with the mice.

My son would disagree there. He rescued a mouse from the clutches of our cat. The ungrateful thing bit him as he was taking it back outside.

The cat got a rat the other day. I could see it wriggling still so opened the front door to attempt a rescue. Cat ran away with rat. To next doors doorstep. Where he promptly got bored once the rat had died and left it there. I didn't hear screaming when the neighbours went out so he might have moved it. I did ponder moving it myself but was worried about being found lurking outside their house.

my advice? get a couple Live traps... There fully enclosed you there's no way you will have to touch the little bugger. You then can go release the bugger in the woods . So we baited ours with a large wad of peanut butter.

@TheSpottedZebra yes Alan truly did have a rat in a pot. It was horrific. I’d woken up early to go riding with friends, got confronted with Alan idly playing with his rat in a pot right next to my bed, and ended up being late trying to deal with it. He kept wandering off and leaving it (probably clean forgot he had a rat in a pot), and then coming back and sticking his paw in the end of the pot and the rat would scream. Every time I attempted to roll the pot into something so I could get it outside, the rat would start reversing out. Possibly the only thing worse than a rat in a pot in your bedroom is a rat not in a pot in your bedroom, it was a difficult situation.

@yellowbananasinjuly I will definitely try a different pest control place. Although it just dawned on me that maybe it’s not a common problem, for houses with cats to have mouse infestations, because most cats aren’t completely fecking useless.

@SusanPerbCallMeSue imagine if your neighbours had a ring doorbell, that would have been hilarious, if you’d gone skulking up to their door and then been seen walking away swinging a dead rat. Would have confused the hell out of them.

Still no further with the kitchen mouse saga, I haven’t heard them lately or had any appliances go bang, so maybe we’ve reached the living harmoniously stage.

I have this evening set up an IG account for Alan (mostly so I can stop spamming my RL FB friends with ridiculous Alan photos). If you’d like to follow the trials and tribulations of a cat with little to no brain, his name is sir_alancat