Some of you may remember my thread last year (under a different name) from Alan’s kittenhood, about how the dirty little bastard kept pissing in the house, largely in reusable shopping bags. Thankfully those days are over but now I have an objectively worse problem.
Anyhoo, him and his sister Hattie have recently got into murdering things. It started with giant worms, and now what I’m getting is mice, shrews, birds and even a fucking massive frog. My wheely bin has become a morgue for the local wildlife.
Get a cat they say, then you’ll never have a problem with mice! WRONG. I never had a single mouse in the house until those two little feckers came along. And now, one of their victims escaped and has been having a rare old in my kitchen for about 3 months now. There’s mouse shit in the cupboards and drawers (thankfully not in any of the food cupboards), and recently when I opened a little used drawer, the mouse back flipped out of the drawer onto the floor and scarpered away. Proper jump scare. DD2 saw it last week sat under the boiler on the worktop.
Why those two furry little eejits don’t just kill it, I don’t know. Instead they bring me yet more mice in and murder them. Every time I find a dead one I hope it’s kitchen mouse but sadly not.
So, long story short, how do I get rid of this bastard mouse? The cats are clearly not going to help me out here. I will caveat this by saying I am quite literally petrified of mice and I’m a single parent. I know the options, old school traps, humane traps, poison. None of them sound good when you’re very scared of mice. I think poison is out because I do actually love the useless cats and don’t want to poison them. I’ve read that humane traps are actually the least humane thing to do as if you take a mouse out of its territory it will just die a horrible death. So do I have to get a Tom & Jerry style head snapper? I don’t want to but also I don’t want a mouse in the house really.
Photo of Alan for reference, he’s not quite the full ticket in his defence.