To only give kids shit food?

[Crocsandshocks]

Bear with me. I'm cultivating an inner scream.

I try to make a real effort to cater to my kids tastes. They are completely and entirely different to mine. I like curries, Thai, veg stir fries, tofu, lentils etc. I'm pescatarian. My kids have different tastes. They like ham, pasta, bolognase, Burges, fish fingers, sausages etc.

I try to meet them in the middle and though I dislike cooking meat, will cook it a couple of times a week and offer up soups or Dahl and flatbread or something the other days.

I have started getting hello fresh. I deliberately ordered a chicken flat bread Street food one, as I thought they would like that (I adapted my portion to use mushrooms instead of chicken).

It took 50 minutes to cook it. I burned my finger in the process. It used up most of the baking dishes and frying pans. When I served it just now, one moaned constantly about the topping on the corn. The other rocked on his chair and sat with legs acimbo, with bits of food hanging out of his mouth.

I was a hot sweaty and sweary mess. Over half of each of theirs was left untouched. I've refrigerated what leftovers I can and am going to sneak it into their packed lunch tomorrow.

However, I am a bit broken. They're getting ready for bed and are now claiming they are hungry 😩AIBU to just go back to shit food? Like frozen pizza and pesto pasta.

Ah, sympathies. It’s shit, isn’t it? How old are they?

How old are they?I would go for the easy option but healthy.Wholemeal pasta with a sauce made with vegetables and grated cheese.Freeze the sauce so you always have some for a quick meal.Frittata hot or cold ,hummus with bread sticks ,carrot and any other veg,Jacket potatoes with beans etc.Smoothies I use frozen berries and bananas.The weather s hot so why spend time in a hot kitchen.Get them to put food together and don’t make an issue.good luck.

I think it’s a bit unreasonable to expect them to eat something quite different to their usual if you’ve been relenting and giving them pizza etc. But also unreasonable just to feed them crap all the time. As a parent it’s your responsibility to guide them towards healthier choices.

It doesn’t happen overnight but if you are consistent you can gradually widen their food repertoire by giving them mostly what they like but adding in a few extra veg or flavours to try alongside. Or you can offer them the food you want them to eat first when they’re really hungry and tell them they can have the nuggets after a few bites of dahl or whatever. Consistent exposure over time is really important, I think humans often need to try new flavours several times before they like them.

My 2 have always liked Thai, stir fry, chilli and curry. Along with plain roasts, spag Bol etc.
surely you can have both?

They are 7 and 10.

I think it’s a bit unreasonable to expect them to eat something quite different to their usual if you’ve been relenting and giving them pizza etc. But also unreasonable just to feed them crap all the time. As a parent it’s your responsibility to guide them towards healthier choices.

You may have missed the bit where I said I meet them in the middle. Some days pizza, some days Dahl or stir fry. But inevitably the latter is met with moans and food left on the plate. I hate food waste and food is now pricey, so I cannot afford for loads of food to be going to waste. That's why I may go back to tradional Iceland style frozen sausage chips etc.... But then I would worry about their health.

If they didn’t like it for dinner they aren’t going to like it for lunch so that’s 2 meals they can’t eat.

you don’t want to eat what they like, so you don’t, so why do they have to eat what you like when they don’t like it?

Im vegetarian but will still cook chicken stir fry & noodles/roast dinner or whatever. I’m not thrilled about it but I’m not going to constantly dish up something they don’t want to eat. My DH wouldn’t eat my tofu & lentils never mind my DC! We do cook on the healthier side rather than processed meats but I wouldn’t make them eat my food choices completely. They have meat in their pasta sauce, I have lentil version -same base sauce, so same meal but we each get something we can eat. They are also then more keen to try a taste of mine too.

My 2 have always liked Thai, stir fry, chilli and curry. Along with plain roasts, spag Bol etc.
surely you can have both?

Wow you are lucky. Mine will even turn their noses up at simple things like rice. 😭

A few times a week cook them bolognese or meals they will eat. The other nights, give then pizza, nuggets, fish fingers and serve with something healthy, always have some form of veg or beans on the plate.

i remember that stage . I gave them toast toppers and pot noodle in the end
didn’t last long , they crave anything veggie now and hate chips

I didn’t miss that you think you’re “meeting them in the middle”, it just doesn’t sound like your version of that is working for any of you. Maybe don’t ask for advice if you’re going to get defensive when people give it to you.

There’s a book called French children don’t throw food by Pamela Druckerman, it has some good tips.

It's so hard. Dc are 5 and 7, the 7 year old is now much more adventurous and trying whatever I put on her plate. Dd2 is not quite there yet. I go with always giving them something they like on their plate. They have to taste the new food/food that they have decided is not good today but they get to eat something they know they like to bot go completely hungry.

But mealtimes can be soul destroying!

Nuggets and fish fingers aren't that terrible really. Just add a reasonable side like sweetcorn or peas/beans in addition to the chips or whatever and offer some fruit too. Or maybe offer a bit of stir fry alongside them.

I personally find the texture of Dahl very off-putting so I'm not surprised they won't eat it. ☹️

You may have missed the bit where I said I meet them in the middle. Some days pizza, some days Dahl or stir fry. But inevitably the latter is met with moans and food left on the plate. I hate food waste and food is now pricey, so I cannot afford for loads of food to be going to waste. That's why I may go back to tradional Iceland style frozen sausage chips etc.... But then I would worry about their health.

I'm not sure why the only options you seem to see are feeding them daal which they obviously don't want or frozen sausage and chips

It's perfectly possible to find a middle (healthier) ground. Homemade fish/chicken fingers, sweet potato wedges cooked in the air fryer, bolognese with hidden veg sauce, wholewheat pasta with homemade pesto, swap regular sausages for chicken ones, etc...

Like you, OP, it was very much 'meet me in the middle'. I worked bloody long hours, was on my own with them, on a fixed budget and tired tired tired.

If they sometimes wanted spaghetti hoops on toast or boiled eggs and soldiers for lunch or tea, then that's what we had. It was better than some of the crap they were given by Ofsted-approved childminders and after-school clubs, tbh. Some of the school lunches on offer were pretty dodgy, too - very burger and chipsy at secondary.

I'm not sure why the only options you seem to see are feeding them daal which they obviously don't want or frozen sausage and chips Confused

That was just an example. Not a daily ocxurance.

i remember that stage . I gave them toast toppers and pot noodle in the end
didn’t last long , they crave anything veggie now and hate chips Grin

Thank god. There is hope.

At the moment there is a direct inverse relationship between amount of effort put in and whether they eat it. The more effort I put in, the less likely they are to eat and enjoy it...

Like you, OP, it was very much 'meet me in the middle'. I worked bloody long hours, was on my own with them, on a fixed budget and tired tired tired.

Gosh. Are you me? Same here.

Like you, OP, it was very much 'meet me in the middle'. I worked bloody long hours, was on my own with them, on a fixed budget and tired tired tired.

This is exactly why I don't want to cook them and me meals. Two much effort. We all need to eat the same thing.

Our child was brought up on the understanding of you don't eat what has been prepared,sorry,there is nothing else, did it work? can't think of anything she won't eat, parents these days make rods for themselves,then bleat about cooking extra stuff, crazy.

I don't understand why you keep making them foods they clearly don't like it seems like such a waste of time and effort.

There are just so many food choices in-between the two "extremes" of frozen nuggets/oven chips and lentil daal.

Jacket potatoes with a variety of toppings
Fajitas or wraps with bowls of toppings so they can help themselves
Pasta with bunch of toppings - pesto, tuna bake, cheese, bolognese with hidden veg.
Fish cakes or fresh chicken chicken with homemade chips or wedges and veg.
Make your own pizzas (buy the bases then they can add whatever toppings they want)
Toasted sandwiches/cheese on toast with soups

Surely there's something there you'll all eat?

They sound like little sods. Pot noodles too good for them.

My dc's are a bit fussy and my weekly food rota goes something like:

m: spaghetti bolognese
t: salmon with flavoured rice and salad
w: Nando's fakeaway or chilli/veggie con carne
t: homemade pizza (let the dc's do their own toppings), salad & garlic bread
f: chicken korma or veggie curry with rice and naan or chicken stir fry
s: something easy from Waitrose that can be bunged in the oven
sun: roast dinner

So, very simple easy stuff but not unhealthy. They rarely have chips or anything fried. When I do bacon butties at the weekends I use lean bacon and grill the bacon etc.

I don't think it has to be two extremes of super-healthy mungbean type dish they're going to hate or chicken nuggets! And also doing things like fakeaways gives them a healthier option of the kind of things they like, so for instance Jamie Oliver does a good homemade chicken nugget recipe and you can make your own oven chips/wedges using frylight spray instead of giving them oven chips.

Luckily mine love salad and eat loads of fruit so I figure they get lots of vitamins that way! Also pasta isn't a bad food to give growing kids - just give them a little side salad with it.

Mine's a bit like that. I take the homemade pasta sauce/spag bol/chilli approach. I also serve nuggets, sausages, fish fingers but rarely with chips, usually mash or boiled potatoes with as much varied veg as she will tolerate.

At least they are aware that other foods exist. They will get more curious as they get older.

Jacket potatoes with a variety of
Fajitas or wraps with bowls of toppings so they can help themselves
Pasta with bunch of toppings - pesto, tuna bake, cheese, bolognese with hidden veg.
Fish cakes or fresh chicken chicken with homemade chips or wedges and veg.
Make your own pizzas (buy the bases then they can add whatever toppings they want)
Toasted sandwiches/cheese on toast with soups

Well they won't eat half of that. They won't eat fajitas (that's what I served tonight and what inspired the post). Soup 1 likes the other doesn't. I hate cooking chicken at the best of times and I'm not making my own pizzas after an 8 hour working day!!

I wouldn't serve my kids Dahl because it is unlikely they would eat it but I also dont serve chicken nuggets or fish fingers. I just cook regular meals. Curries, stir fries, pasta dishes etc. I dont cook separate meals but if they dont like the sauce they can fill up on the rice or pasta or noodles for one meal instead.