If you don’t have/had/want children why are you here?

[Robin198]

I’m aware the title sounds quite nippy and I don’t mean it to. Having read a post from a person considering cutting off friends since they’ve had kids it genuinely made me wonder…if you don’t have or have had or want or even like children what attracted you to a forum where the main users are all of the above?

Am I being unreasonable to assume that users of MN have/had/want/like children?

Some people have pets.

I’m not going to repeat answers that have been given several times. What I do want to do is ask the parents saying ‘OMG why would a non-parent come here tho?!’ - do you never read parenting-related threads that you don’t feel qualified to answer? Or that would be more relevant to parents of older/younger children? Or that you just find plain boring?

My point is that surely even parents don’t find every parenting thread fascinating or relevant. So why is it so hard to understand that non-parents might come here for the other threads?

Loads and loads of traffic. Mostly intelligent and funny women posting. Always someone who knows something really niche and is able to explain it. Anonymity. Swearing. I do have a kid, though I first joined when TTC. My brother is in his forties with no kids and loves a good Cheeky Fucker thread.

We don't have children because we came to the conclusion that we couldn't afford to. I come (almost) exclusively on aibu because it is fascinating, funny, sad, bizarre and often life affirming. I don't post much but when I do it is heartfelt (and I hope helpful!).

Dunno how I ended up here. Googled something probably
Been here 10 years so since my mid twenties (I NC a lot), stayed for AIBU/style and beauty and also the long running cat threads on the litter board. I think we must be on thread 50 plus by now

I’d love to round up all the blimmin posters who periodically start these tedious threads and put them all together in their own chat room.

Then lock it and throw away the key.

I don’t have (or want) children AND I’m not from/in the UK 😲.

I ended up here when I Googled something horse related and a thread came up. I stayed because I love that it’s a busy forum with lots of different topics and many posters are intelligent and funny. Many posts in AIBU, Chat, or the animal related boards (the places that I frequent) have nothing at all to do with children.

A “goady”…..No. I had a discussion with a friend about marketing in which she used this forum as an example of something. I wondered what would attract certain users to certain forums so asked the question. With hindsight I should have been more specific in my wording.
to be honest, I’m confident I could think of 101 more ‘goady’ statements if that was my intention but it’s not.

Newsflash Most parents dont want to talk about DC 24/7! Other topics are avaliable .In RL I see my friends/ and my cousin (who is childfree) and we talk about lots of things .DC just a part of that.The good thing here everyone welcome and that makes it an excellent site .

Specific AND sensitive in your wording would have been better

There are a lot of users on this site for various reasons and interests as you hopefully now have realised

This will include a lot of people who cannot have or are struggling to have children

Take a moment to think how it feels when these type of threads (that seem to happen on a fairly regular basis) asking “why are you here?” like it’s some exclusive club that only those who have children are invited to

Thats why it is ‘goady’ as this conversation has happened many times before and people who don’t have the title ‘mum’ having to defend themselves becomes very tiring

Women without kids
And men.. on a site... called. MumsneT....

Both weird...

Why is it weird?

People who don’t read hundreds of posts explaining why this is not weird. Weird…

Again. Stop talking about non mum stuff and we will bugger off. I came through property and diy topic. After looking around, nothing suggested it's not place for others.

I wonder what would happen if all us us not mums would actually stop coming for few days....

You know what, I think that it is perfect the way that MN has evolved, in that it was originally for parents to discuss things related to pregnancy and parenting, and the label “Mums” net as opposed to “Parents” net did result in a user base which was majority female. I wonder whether someone setting up a similar board today would dare give it a “female” name? Unlikely I think.

Anyway, topics naturally expanded beyond parenting and so non-parents started to participate in discussions, and we’ve ended up with what I think may be the only generalist discussion group online where women’s voices are in the majority, but which is not badged as “feminist” (while also having a dedicated sub-topic for those who do want to discuss more purely feminist subjects.)

I’ve dipped into the likes of MSE and Reddit before but there is something here about most voices being female which appeals to me and I think alters the tone a bit- amusingly, not in the way you might think, I’m that it is not “softer” or “less aggressive”. It’s the opposite- women here feel free to be as bolshy and sweary as they like. On the other hand in more unisex environments I think men often play down the tone and language in a misguided effort to be polite, in case they “offend the ladies”.

That is not to say that I think men should not be on here at all, or that they have to out themselves as male if they are. Far from it. But I do think I’d be a bit sad if it became a 50/50 male female or male-majority environment.

CORRECT.

As someone who does have children - I can easily understand why someone without children would enjoy this forum, most of the discussions aren't child-based or parent-centric.

I do often wonder, though, how non-parents or people who aren't trying to become parents actually came to be on Mumsnet - I'd heard of it before becoming pregnant but (because of the name) assumed I'd have no interest in it - the same way I wouldn't look at a gardening forum or a car forum. I can easily understand why non-parents would enjoy the site - but I can't figure out how they figured that out in the first place 😂

I'm definitely not phrasing this correctly. What I basically mean is, the perception of the site is that it's all about parenting so why would someone with no interest in parenting look at the site in the first place in order to find out that it's not, in fact, all about parenting and that, therefore, they do have an interest in it?

This pretty much sums it up 😄

Your question has been answered numerous times on this thread already, it usually comes from googling something and being directed to a mumsnet thread on it.

This has been answered. I googled low carb recipes and it lead me to here.

Threads often come up when you Google something. People are tabt the thread title is not parenting-related and that is their gateway to the site.

*see that

What I basically mean is, the perception of the site is that it's all about parenting so why would someone with no interest in parenting look at the site in the first place in order to find out that it's not, in fact, all about parenting and that, therefore, they do have an interest in it?

You’re starting from the position that the general perception is that it’s a site only about parenting. There have been plenty of stories in the press taken directly from mumsnet that show it isn’t.

That's fair enough. You're right, just because that was my perception doesn't mean it was everyone's.