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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hearing someone boast endlessly about their kids...

51 replies

bordas · 11/07/2022 23:35

Someone can't shut up boasting about their kids' successes, day after day, and letting down other kids that she knows.

Do you know this person? Are they in your life? How do you deal with them??

OP posts:
MichelleScarn · 11/07/2022 23:39

How are they letting other kids down? Do you mean putting them down?

Hellocatshome · 11/07/2022 23:40

Ignore. You can't argue with stupid. They won't change so dont waste any energy on them.

Runnerbeansflower · 11/07/2022 23:41

I felt sorry for her, that she needed to make out her kids are exceptional to feel good about herself.

My kids ARE exceptional of course 🤣 to me, but just normal to everyone else. As were hers.

Threetulips · 11/07/2022 23:43

Well I’ve met similar! Smile and wave!

ZeroFucksGiven20 · 11/07/2022 23:44

Yeah I know a couple of braggers but one in particular brags about her kids. Their exam results on fb, photos of them all dressed up. Constantly bigging them up basking in their glory and taking full credit for how wonderful they are.
Honestly I ignore them!! It's delusional behaviour. Everyone has flaws, faults even their kids. She makes out the sun shines out of their arse. It's really sad and a desperate bid for attention.

Original poster
bordas · 11/07/2022 23:48

Sorry yes putting other kids down.

I feel sorry for her too... it's just that it feels like she's seeking my approval every time she texts and it's getting on my nerves now.

Ok she makes her own kids work hard to get into good schools, but she shouldn't be telling me who "failed" the entrance exam to this particular school together with why she thinks they failed.

OP posts:
changzi · 11/07/2022 23:49

I have a friend who does this in WhatsApp chat. She's a lovely person and a good friend but it really makes me feel like a crap parent when her kids are so perfect and high achieving.

I try to ignore it for my own sanity.

PeekabooAtTheZoo · 11/07/2022 23:49

Yeah I know her. 40 photos a day of her tiny sun god spoilt child every day for four years.
According to her deluge of boastful propaganda he loves reading but I’ve only ever seen him wrestling her phone off her to play games or hitting her to demand attention.
I mute her anywhere I can and I grit my teeth when she tells me how to live my life. It’s literally all she has. Sad really.

Zoeyclash · 11/07/2022 23:52

I know somebody who steers every conversation towards her own kids and how amazing they are academically and on the sports field. It becomes so tiresome and boring after a very short time in her company.

Runnerbeansflower · 11/07/2022 23:52

changzi · 11/07/2022 23:49

I have a friend who does this in WhatsApp chat. She's a lovely person and a good friend but it really makes me feel like a crap parent when her kids are so perfect and high achieving.

I try to ignore it for my own sanity.

They aren't perfect. She is selecting what you see/hear of them.

All a bit sad.

For the children as well, they will know her love and approval are very conditional. I wouldn't want my DCs to feel the pressure they will feel

PlaidBlanket · 11/07/2022 23:55

I say ‘Dear me, mine is relentlessly average, but has excellent hair’ and change the subject.

Or I would if knew anyone who did this. Surely you’d have to have zero emotional intelligence to bore on like that?

ZeroFucksGiven20 · 11/07/2022 23:59

PlaidBlanket · 11/07/2022 23:55

I say ‘Dear me, mine is relentlessly average, but has excellent hair’ and change the subject.

Or I would if knew anyone who did this. Surely you’d have to have zero emotional intelligence to bore on like that?

Spot on with no emotional intelligence. That's exactly it.

pinkpip100 · 12/07/2022 00:04

I have a close friend like this - it does feel relentless and makes me bristle. It always seems like there is an air of competition - I try really hard not to be drawn into it but it does leave me feeling a bit rubbish about my parenting skills.

ThinWomansBrain · 12/07/2022 00:11

I did, she finally stopped.
She now goes on endlessly about how, bright, beauiful, confident, intelligent her grandchildren are 🙄
Occasionally these days she admits that her children aren't perfect.

Oceanus · 12/07/2022 00:36

Not long ago somebody gave me the most amazing piece of advice which I would tattoo on my head if I had the courage: never start an argument you know beforehand will accomplish nothing and lead nowhere.
Some adults I feel aren't worth arguing with because they are so irrational to start with that I feel I'm too bloody small to make them change their mind and there must be something wrong with them but maybe they haven't been diagnosed yet! I always think to myself, you've been around for so long and you still think that way?!?!??!?! What the f*ck!!!!
I have a list of people I tend to just strike out my life and not give much thought to: bullies, xenophobes (...) basically people who just make me feel awful or who I think are bonkers and past the point of no return. Is your friend past the point of no return? Can she be reasoned with? Is there hope? Is the fight worth it?...
I prefer to stay away from crazy people and hope natural evolution will sort out their lineage eventually.

ZeroFucksGiven20 · 12/07/2022 00:39

I've just screenshotted that @Oceanus thanks for sharing! Will be a good reminder for me x

Oceanus · 12/07/2022 00:47

@ZeroFucksGiven20 I wish I'd heard it years ago as it would have saved me a lot of grief.

humancalculator · 12/07/2022 05:50

I’m related to someone like this, it’s relentless and frankly a bit embarrassing for her, and sad, as if she doesn’t have a life separate from them. All the more so as they are now in their late 20s…

AgentJohnson · 12/07/2022 06:13

Don’t care but putting other kids down is behaviour I’d call out.

Original poster
bordas · 12/07/2022 10:03

@Oceanus thanks for a good tip! Pretty sure she's had an unhappy childhood with her siblings doing well both academically and in sports whereas she didn't get much validation from her parents, always compared etc. Which is fine but don't take it on other people!

OP posts:
Phos · 12/07/2022 12:43

This sounds like one of the school mums. Always going on about how little Octavia (not her real name) is 2 years ahead academically and is being held back by school, how she's dancing at national level with 16-17 year olds even though she's only 4, blah blah blah. She's also the kind who if she even gets a whiff of another kid not doing so well at something will come at it with the faux concern "Oh I'm sooooooooo sorry that Tarquin isn't coping with activity. Octavia absolutely loooooooooves it"

I basically avoid the woman, no time for her bs.

I feel sorry for the little one though, she's in extra curriculars every night plus Saturday and Sunday and I've heard the mother snap at her "We haven't time for that" when the kid just wanted to go to the swings after school. I know hobbies are good for them but so's a little bit of down time.

carrietd · 12/07/2022 12:49

Spot on with no emotional intelligence. That's exactly it.

Yes this is true.

I'm more than pleased when friends post of a child's achievements, but the constant bire boasters I tend to avoid. For one acquaintance I know it's a front, as her social media has a carefully curated (sorry I can't think of a better word) page of daily updates about her children, with photos, but I remember that behind the scenes she used to talk of the struggle and the chaos and the children selecting unwashed/unironed clothes for school from a pile.

vickivale · 12/07/2022 12:49

changzi · 11/07/2022 23:49

I have a friend who does this in WhatsApp chat. She's a lovely person and a good friend but it really makes me feel like a crap parent when her kids are so perfect and high achieving.

I try to ignore it for my own sanity.

Yes I know her

the80sweregreat · 12/07/2022 12:51

I don't like people who boast about things : money, kids , cars or whatever.
It shows a lack of empathy or intelligence and only done to make others feel bad

Moonface123 · 12/07/2022 12:53

Its all down to insecurity, the constant need for validation and approval.