To just not fancy DH anymore

[Thickear]

So, we have been married for 10 years, have 2 children 5 and 2, my DH constantly farts, putting on so much weight and is so so greedy, he is lazy (literally every time I look at him he is sat down) he says I don’t like sex and I must be a lesbian 🙄

He says he can’t help a bodily function which makes me feel like a weirdo, I’m honestly not joking they absolutely stink and easily every 2 minutes! Shouldn’t I just love him regardless? I feel awful

Of course they can, do you think he would do that at a job interview? Or it he was at the doctors or dentist?

@SavoirFlair it's pretty obvious there are levels of vileness but this guy certainly qualifies to be on the scale. Would disgusting suit you better? Disrespectful?

Shouldn’t I just love him regardless?

I don't think so, this is absolutely disgusting. I know people all do things differently but I've never been in a relationship where we just farted in front of each other. I mean if one slipped out I wouldn't get a divorce over it but yeah, it's disgusting.

What a catch! 🤮

I wouldn’t even mind if it just wasn’t so frequent, it is honestly like he just forces them out constantly. The obsession with food is another thing, I can see how excited he is once dinner is ready and he orders things on the plate etc, he also analyses both meals and chooses which one is his, his asthma is terrible because he is overweight which makes him snore like a pig.

No he is not a lovely man. Stop making excuses for him.

Anyone who calls you a lesbian because you won't have sex with him is trying to pressure you rather than take responsibility for his own actions. He is horrible.

Time for a very very blunt talk, show him a photo of himself 10 years ago, and a take some photos now. Get your phone and record his farting. Tell him he stinks and no woman could find that desirable. Tell him lack of sex is his fault. Offer to help with diet.

And to move into the spare room until he does something about it

I feel guilty because he is a lovely man, great father to the kids

Yeah, now I know he's completely shit.

I seriously doubt it's every 2 mins.

When will men understand that women need to be mentally attracted as well as physically. If he's doing nothing to help, is lazy, farts and is overweight why does he think you'll suddenly want to shag him. Add that he also tried to insinuate it's because of your sexual preference would just put the final nail in the coffin for me.

Sleep in another room until he addresses his weight/snoring. You will feel better for it. We all let ourselves go. My partner is appalled when I fart and shit, but they constantly fart and use the toilet. I got used to it, and I can't say that bothers me that much. It does occasionally. Certain foods and food combos make you fart, it is controllable up unto a point.

Do you still feel sexy, wank, find other men desirable?

The farting is due to his overeating, his body is struggling to digest so much food, it sounds like he needs to see someone to help him with his food addiction.

He does sound vile

Maybe Google ‘vile’ before trying to police other people’s language? It’s a perfectly fitting word to describe someone who’s unhygienic, lazy, misogynistic and homophobic.

My DH and DD both suffered with the symptoms you described. We did an elimination diet, kept a food diary and identified a dairy intolerance. We cut back on dairy as a whole family and it’s made a big difference.

He makes misogynistic and homophobic remarks, which weren’t symptoms of clinical depression last time I checked. Sounds pretty vile to me

His comments aren't great but they aren't misogynistic and homophobic remarks and I say that as a lesbian.

he is not “vile”. He sounds equally depressed. Perhaps he doesn’t have the sertraline to fall back on. Perhaps he’s given up on the situation.

Depressed but still up for sex it would seem.

Every time someone says 'they're a great dad' you know they're an absolutely shit dad.

He sounds utterly revolting.

I would be putting the children in together if it meant you could have your own room.

Return to work if you are not already as I doubt this is salvageable when he is so lazy and disgusting.

You have to ask yourself, are you perfect? Are you physically attractive with top notch hygiene? Are you above average intelligence? Not being goady, but I go by the "people in glass houses" philosophy. So many of these nasty abusive threads.

Is he farting like that in work
surely not

if he isn’t then that means he can control it when he wants to and he’s choosing to do this around you

If it was every 2 minutes (which I also doubt), then medical attention is needed

Does he work op? Does he make an effort for work? Is it only at home he's a slob?

No I am not perfect! I gained too much weight during both my pregnancies but felt unhappy so tried my hardest to shift it. I do try and put effort into my appearance as it makes me feel good.

Yes he works, he is constantly going our for lunch.

I don't blame you for not fancying him, he doesn't sound great. My ex was the same, farted and burped all the time. I used to ask him not to and he always used to say that it was a natural bodily function and he couldn't help it but in the end it just got me down. My bedroom would end up stinking of his farts and for the last year or so of our relationship I didn't have sex with him and I just found it so unattractive. He was a lovely guy in so many ways but yeah he was similar to your DH. He was a big guy and was perfectly happy to sit in eating shit, drinking loads whilst farting and burping. My standards will be remarkably higher when I feel ready to join the dating world again.

Also, it was just the lack of respect for me. I asked him to stop doing it, he thought I was being a dictator and being precious. Fuck. That.Shit.