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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To consider burning this?

31 replies

SwissTees · 11/07/2022 19:52

Could not believe that Dh brought his grungiest, full of holes Tshirt on holiday.

He says it’s very comfortable which I’m not going to argue with but I thought he’d confine wearing it to the hotel room. But no, he wears it to breakfast and out and about the resort!

He doesn’t have a keen dress sense and is happy for me to buy his clothes of which he has more than enough smart casual.

To prevent it making its way to another holiday surely this deserves to go on the woodpile?

To consider burning this?
OP posts:
cushioncovers · 11/07/2022 19:53

Agree. Burn it.

Poppyseed14 · 11/07/2022 19:54

I wouldn't even go to the effort of washing that disgusting rag OP. Get it in the bin...

TuftyMarmoset · 11/07/2022 19:56

You think that is full of holes? That’s like the least holey thing my DP has 🤣
He has begrudgingly agreed that his pair of shorts where the bum has worn through so much you can see his pants should be kept to the garden now though.

TwoMonthsOff · 11/07/2022 19:56

I’d use that as a ‘really worn in soft cloth’ to buff the polish on my car….once….other than that, take it to a remote bin where he can’t find it
really I believe in wearing clothes to the max but that’s completely worn out I bet you could just rip that easily the fibres must be completely degraded

Thehop · 11/07/2022 19:56

Just playing devils advocate

my teenage son has one like that that cost quite a lot of money!

let him style it out.

mnahmnah · 11/07/2022 19:58

I believe some people may consider that trendy these days…

Notimeforaname · 11/07/2022 20:00

That's manky. I wouldn't walk around with him in rags like that.

Hillrunning · 11/07/2022 20:03

Presumably it has been washed? Holes don't make something dirty.

Meraas · 11/07/2022 20:07

Let him enjoy his holiday. No one will notice.

NoseyNellie · 11/07/2022 20:14

Are you in a five star hotel? If not I wouldn’t sweat it

stuntbubbles · 11/07/2022 20:15

YWBU to bin it or burn it. However you could take it to a fabric recycling bin.

TheGr8Cornholio · 11/07/2022 20:30

While I understand your embarrassment, I would urge you to think long and hard before throwing it out. That t-shirt might look fit for the garbage heap to you, but for whatever reasons, your husband really likes it. To throw it out without his permission would be very disrespectful. We all have favourite items that have technically outlived their usefulness. As the saying goes, "one man's junk is another man's treasure".

If the t-shirt really bothers you that much, you could try buying him a brand new t-shirt just like this one, and saying "I noticed that your favourite t-shirt is completely knackered, so I got you this one to replace it!"
If this goes down well, he might then be happy to part with the old one. He might even dispose of it himself!

Bubblebubblebah · 11/07/2022 20:46

Some of us get proper attached to some clothes and honetaly wear it until it's just few threads left.
But! That should be home or sleeping clothes

Toothiehurtie · 11/07/2022 21:15

I’d be fuming if someone tried to take my holey t shirts from me, all the best ones have holes. Don’t be mean.

Original poster
SwissTees · 11/07/2022 21:15

General responses
I am embarrassed walking around with him like that. Dc and I take care in getting dressed but not overly so - for example I bought only a top and trousers for this holiday but did pull out my beach holiday favourites some of which are years old but good quality so still look nice.

Bear in mind that he does have nice stuff. And he knows how I feel about taking some care.

We are at 4 star, nice setting. I don’t expect him to make a huge effort but some effort is reasonable!

The tshirt does get washed - often! Because it’s worn so much.

@TheGr8Cornholio - you’ve hit the nail on the head! Dc were mortified when I mentioned my plan.
He gets emotionally attached to these items of clothing - perhaps attaches memories to them which is so annoying because eventually they do need to go.

So buying a replacement, same brand, similar colour won’t ensure that he’ll stop wearing it.

OP posts:
Bubblebubblebah · 11/07/2022 21:19

Saw a Balenciaga logo on it. It will fit beautifully into their new range.

Problem solved

TheGr8Cornholio · 12/07/2022 08:08

Swiss tees - Oh I do sympathise, my dad would often wear his clothes until they are threadbare too. My mum would throw them out without his say-so, and it became a major bone of contention to the point between them. My dad always felt that his autonomy was being overridden and that even though it was only a t-shirt, it was the principle of the matter, a person should be able to have their own possessions and keep or dispose of them at their own will.

If your husband is sentimentally attached to the item, could he be persuaded to hold on to it as a keepsake, but not as an item to be worn? It could be framed, for example? Or is there a way to mend it? Perhaps some sewing genius could restore it to its rightful glory?

If he absolutely insists on wearing it, I'm afraid you'll just have to come to terms with it. If it means that much to him, it would cause a lot of hurt to lose it. It's one of his personal possessions and therefore his decision to keep or discard it.

CrystalCoco · 12/07/2022 08:40

My H pulls shit like this and I've almost given up trying to do anything about it.

It doesn't reflect badly on you that he's wearing this, the people you're worried about will be able to see how you and DC are dressed nicely and if they're judging anything then it's him, not you.

Hard to accept I know, but also most people won't really be caring that much what he's wearing.

Don't let it ruin your holiday and once you're home see if you can 'retire' the tee shirt somewhere he can't find, or start sticking your fingers in the holes and making them just a little bit bigger each time, eventually it'll be too torn for him to go around in.

chilledbubble · 12/07/2022 08:46

No one will care. Leave him be.

Prokupatuscrakedatus · 12/07/2022 08:47

What makes you think you have a right to throw away somebody elses belongings?

Hotinnit · 12/07/2022 08:48

Prokupatuscrakedatus · 12/07/2022 08:47

What makes you think you have a right to throw away somebody elses belongings?

Yes OP, would you like it if your DH decided your clothes were shit and binned them?

balalake · 12/07/2022 08:50

I share your concern, you might be recognised as coming from the UK and get asked your views on Brexit and/or Boris Johnson, which you probably want to get away from.

Don't burn it though. Even if your DH accepts not wearing it any more, it can be cut up into rags/cloths.

Helldiddleydingdongcrap · 12/07/2022 08:51

Air holes innit. I mean yeah it’s a bit grim, and preferably he’d only wear it around the house, but the world won’t end and who actually gives a shit what other people think anyway?

Tiani4 · 12/07/2022 08:55

I'd buy a new t shirt very similar and suggest to DH that the old one ibecomes his pj top or worn around the house when doing house or DIY work!, but not out as it is shabby now.

Clothes that are falling apart in our house tend to end up in a boil wash with t- towels as I "try to get them clean"Wink but if he is really attached to it for memories I suggest you go the "it becomes a pj / house top only" route

Bubblebubblebah · 12/07/2022 08:56

Tbh if anyone is sitting on their holidays, judging others for what they are wearing, I feel quite bad about them because it means they have shite time. No one enjoying their time would give a fuck about bit worn out tshirt at a buffet in some resort on someone they don't even know.

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