To say these men shouldn't be allowed to keep this child.

[GrabbyGabby]

2 men hire a surrogate to have a child for them via IVF. They wanted 2 boys (had names and gmail accounts for them already🙄).
The IVF clinic implanted a female foetus, and now they are suing the clinic.

I don't think they should be allowed to raise a child they clearly don't want.

www.cbsnews.com/losangeles/news/same-sex-couple-sues-fertility-clinic-over-alleged-wrong-sex-embryo-implant/

YABU they will be fine parents and their daughter will in no way be scarred for life

YANBU babies arent commodities. They should never be bought and sold, and being female is not a defect

I can't think at all for a reason you would have to sex select thats medical?

@bluenameblue

No, but it sure is homophobic to attack on the gender preference front whilst also not confirming whether you think the same of women who have strong preferences for one sex over another.

It’s also very transphobic of this couple to be so clear that sex is determined at conception. I thought it was ‘assigned at birth’? Surely all their child needs to do is identify out of being female?
Or they could contact the midwife/ Dr present at birth and sue them for ‘assigning’ wrong?

(Yes I am being sarcastic. But it seems that even Pink News - who reported on this story - really knows that sex is determined at conception, observed in utero and recorded at birth).

Vile breeding to order. Obviously hate women - not good enough to be a daughter, but good enough to use for breeding purposes.

Should be illegal.

She's just been born and she's already not good enough for this pair of tw*ts.

Social services should step in and take her into care with a view to putting her up for adoption.

Somewhere a childless couple will consider themselves blessed to have her in their lives.

Sex selection except in cases of medical needs should be banned.

There are some heritable genetic conditions which are linked to a particular sex.

So, eg if a male child had a high change of a serious, life-limiting condition, you could want a daughter, or vice versa.

Do you think women who have gender disappointment should have their children taken into care?

Would love to know

Exactly - how do they know this baby is a girl?

Assign her male, let her be brought up with male privilege, and see what comes of a female body with no limitations and overweening confidence in herself.

There are some genetic medical conditions that only affect one sex or differently affect the sexes. E.g. haemophilia.

I find it so odd that a site with predominantly women who supposedly are very pro-women's rights and bodily autonomy is so incredibly against women having the right to choose what to do with her own body.

If they actually don't want that child, and are suing the hospital/ whatever because for that child, then yes.

Otherwise many people - especially if they have a child of one sex, have a little hope that the next will be the opposite sex, but they fall in love with that baby whatever it is - but this particular child isn't good enough.

They wanted two children only - but they both had to be boys. SO they are going for a third cild because they want those boys!

What sort of life of she going to have, do you think, knowing how they feel about her, and probably being treated as second class?

Hang on a minute

"The financial impact to the Sanigers is "staggering" because they ultimately will be raising three children rather than the two sons for which they had planned, the suit states. "

So they are still so set on using the gmail accounts that they intend to just keep going and have 2 more children so they get the 2 boys they wanted.

I didn't see anything in this article or the pink news one that suggests they love their daughter anyway even though she is unfortunate enough to be female. This last line of the article feels really dismissive of the daughter they now have, like 'shit now we're going to have to pay to raise it alongside our boys'.

I can't think at all for a reason you would have to sex select thats medical?

Where a medical condition is inherited on a Y chromosome, for example.

Select for a girl (two X chromosomes) and that risk is no longer present.

In my, rather small and otherwise not worth much, opinion they paid for something they didn't get so are entitled to their money back.

But surrogacy in itself is deeply troubling to me because I don't think we yet know what damage being removed from your biological mother might bring, though there is good research into adoption-caused traumas. A child has experiences and learning in utero which persist after birth and then is placed with people that do not match those experiences. Does this cause damage in some way? Can that damage by mitigated by the surrogant mum being closely involved in the first few weeks, months, years of the child existence? It just seems like taking a risk with someone else's long term happiness.

Surely that sexist, not homophobic?

And FWIW plenty of natal parents treat their children unfairly based on sex, birth order, personality etc.

There’s a difference between being disappointed in the sex of your child, maybe confiding on an anonymous forum, then getting on with loving your child and being so disappointed you sue someone because the goods weren’t as described whilst telling the world you didn’t want a female child including your child when they are old enough to read.

I'm not in favour of surrogacy, but you could argue that these dads were being thoughtful and responsible to question whether as 2 fathers they had the tools and lived experience to properly parent a girl?

@MenopausalMe they paid a lot for sex selection, they are fully entitled to claim that back.

If you paid upwards of $25k for a service and the provider of said service just didn't do it, would you honestly be fine with that?

No one with any sense would be fine with that.

This baby is their child, at least one of theirs biologically and the other through adoption.

Only absolute idiots think placing a child in care is better than being with a loving family who simply want a company to right a wrong

@Emotionalsupportviper who says these parents don't love their daughter. This article outlines their legal case and that alone.

Many on here aren't pro women, they're pro women like them (also polls have shown on AIBU the majority of posters are 55-75 which imo gives insight into these conflicting views)

A big difference, anti choice re surrogacy, anti choice re sex work, anti choice re transitioning, anti choice re sex selection, anti choice re porn...the list goes on

I think that there are different kinds of freedoms, choices, and conditions for autonomy.

We all need freedom from ... poverty, homelessness, starvation, abuse & etc, in order to exercise choice, autonomy and freedom to ... choose to trade our bodies for whatever.

We don't know the circumstances of the woman who "chose" to become a surrogate. There's growing evidence that surrogacy for rich Western people, using women in under-developed countries as vessels through which to purchase a child, is another version of people trafficking.

The woman concerned may not have been free from poverty, homelessness & starvation; she may have "chosen" to rent out her body to provide herself and her family with the basic necessities for survival.

Not much of a choice really, is it?

This has nothing to do with surrogacy
This has nothing to do with sex selection
This has nothing to do with whether or not they love their child
This is medical negligence. And they are right to sue. They are entitled to compensation.

Suing because the clinic got it wrong does not mean that they won't be good parents or won't love their child! In fact they are probably doing good by the child because they will likely receive compensation which can be used for the child.

Do you judge parents who sue for other medical negligence that affects their child? The parents of the child with birth complications due to negligence which caused brain damage? Does suing somehow mean they don't love their child? Of course it doesn't!

If this case did not involve two gay men and surrogacy I think the responses would be very different!

So what choice does that little girl have? None. She was bought as a commodity, she has been traded as goods, and the goods have been found to be wanting. And how about the clinic offering sex selection to start with? This should be outlawed unless for medical reasons.

People are not goods and should never be treated as such.

Do you think that is how their daughter will perceive their actions when she comes of age?