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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Does your 10 year old play out?

38 replies

Workyticket · 10/07/2022 22:13

Ds has started having an hour in the park on the way home from school with his pals

He only walks home twice a week (20 minute walk which includes 2 busy roads) and only with friends

My dad has commented that he thinks ds is too young

Some of ds' friends aren't allowed to yet

Others are allowed out until 9pm!?!

What's the norm for others? Just trying to weigh up whether we're out of order / just right / too strict

OP posts:

SavoirFlair · 10/07/2022 22:14

What’s the norm for others?

www.mumsnet.com/talk/parenting

this is the norm…

Original poster

Workyticket · 10/07/2022 22:15

SavoirFlair · 10/07/2022 22:14

What’s the norm for others?

www.mumsnet.com/talk/parenting

this is the norm…

Not sure what that link is meant to be 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:

SavoirFlair · 10/07/2022 22:15

It’s “meant to be” the link where people talk about parenting issues

Original poster

Workyticket · 10/07/2022 22:16

SavoirFlair · 10/07/2022 22:15

It’s “meant to be” the link where people talk about parenting issues

Ah - didn't realise there was Thread Police here. As you were 💩

OP posts:

CheshireDing · 10/07/2022 22:18

Our walk from school is 10 mins, DD is 10.5 , she doesn’t walk home in her own yet and I would say we live in a really safe area and everyone knows everyone

will prob start letting her in sept when she’s in year 6 but I wouldn’t want her stopping at the park

SheWoreYellow · 10/07/2022 22:18

Sounds about right to me for that age if it’s a normal park with no major issues. My ten year old has a cheap phone in case of emergencies though.

Highflow · 10/07/2022 22:18

I don’t let my 10 yr old DS play out. Next year when in yr 6 I plan to start giving him little bits of freedom to get ready for secondary

WhyNott · 10/07/2022 22:19

@SavoirFlair is there any need to be so pedantic? Think it's the worst case I have seen on here to be honest! Anyway, not exactly what you asked but we live in a culture de sac where 9 year old stepchild plays out, safe area but I definitely wouldn't say 10 is too young at all.

Original poster

Workyticket · 10/07/2022 22:21

We've just given ds my old phone (should have said!)

It feels a bit early to me but I'm going up to full time at work soon so have eased him in on my day off - meeting him and his pals half way etc for a while and slowly extending

If we'd left it till year 6 (which was the original plan) I'd not be able to ease him in.

OP posts:

ObviouslyNotNow · 10/07/2022 22:21

Mine does. Started with 15 minutes in the playground 2 minutes away with a friend and her phone when she was nearly 10, and worked up. She’s now 11 and walks herself to primary school, or to a friend’s house (up to 20 minutes) and has caught the bus by herself once. This summer I’m going to get her doing more trips by herself on the bus and tube, ready for the journey to secondary school.

PoisonedIvydaffs · 10/07/2022 22:21

DD10 walks to and from school on her own. If she wants to go to the park on her way home she calls me to let me know, and I tell her what time she has to be home by (usually about 4:30 / 5:00pm). It seems quite common here, most children in the school start walking home alone at some point during year 5.

ChrisReasBathEggs · 10/07/2022 22:23

OP, you made the mistake of not talking about a parking dispute, your salary or Megan Markle. There us nothing to bitch about with what you said, so it might upset a few people 😂

I think that sounds fine for a 10 year old, but depends on the maturity of the child. Many kids in my local junior seem to be walking to school and playing in the park at that age.

icklekid · 10/07/2022 22:26

Big difference between an hour at the park 3.30-4.30 and stay out until 9pm surely? I also think if crossing busy roads having a friend with them makes a difference. If they are going home to an empty house do they call or check in so you know they are back? What would they do if something went wrong?

Original poster

Workyticket · 10/07/2022 22:27

@ChrisReasBathEggs someone gave me a dirty look in the car park today - I might be allowed to post about that 😆

OP posts:

Original poster

Workyticket · 10/07/2022 22:29

@icklekid sorry - I missed a shed load out of my op!

They come home after a phone call and an hours play to my house 1 day and his pals house another day (not sure what our plan is for when I'm back full time yet)

OP posts:

Unihorn · 10/07/2022 22:31

In my area the children play outside houses from about 5 and roam further from about 8 so 10 seems perfectly normal to me. It massively depends on area though surely. We live in Wales where it's quite common for people to know (or be related to!) half the neighbours and we don't have any concerns over gangs etc. If we lived in a different area I'm sure I'd think differently.

Jules912 · 10/07/2022 22:31

I don't let my 10 year old, though he's never asked and doesn't yet walk to school. This is at least in part because we live on a busy road, he was allowed to the park on holiday when he didn't have to cross a road.

Eggsley · 10/07/2022 22:33

DS1 has been allowed out with friends since the end of year 5, so he was 10 and a half. He's coming up to the end of year 6 and walks to and from school by himself plus is allowed out to the park or shop with friends until 5.30pm in the summer. He has a phone and I can see where he is on find my phone. If he leaves the park he has to text to tell me where he's going, but he has to stay in the village. We are in quite a small village and most of the kids/parents know each other. I'd say 10 is about the right age to start getting a bit of freedom and independence.

Svara · 10/07/2022 22:44

DS played out in the local area from 9/year 5. He rode his bike in just our street when I was home from about 7, letting me know if he was going into a neighbour's house or garden.

coffeecupsandfairylights · 10/07/2022 22:44

Children walk home alone here from 8/9 years old so this seems perfectly normal to me. The park is full of primary aged kids without parents 🤷🏻‍♀️

UndertheCedartree · 10/07/2022 22:47

Sounds fine. My DD is 10 and has played out on our street for a couple of years.

AllKnowingGerbil · 10/07/2022 22:49

I don't think I would. Mine is only 7 now but can't see him doing that aged 10. I'd be worried about perverts or aggressive secondary school kids.

waterrat · 10/07/2022 22:50

Yes !! We recently moved to a street where children of 9 or 10 play up and down..(quiet road hardly any Cars) they run about and kick balls and sit on steps and chat.

Sometimes a group of 10 year olds including mine go to the nearby park with a ball

FreezyFreezy · 10/07/2022 22:59

My 9 & 11 y old dc play out and have done for a few years now. It started with them playing with the kid next door and then going to call for the kids at the top of the street. They both have phones. Dc 1 walks to & from school and dc 2 will do so from September.

Original poster

Workyticket · 10/07/2022 22:59

Looks like we're about right

Ds has friends in the same class who are allowed out roaming until late - he's not arsed and is feeling very grown up with his new freedom

Those who say no - are you waiting until they start secondary school? I think if my work pattern wasn't changing I'd have waited

Would any of you allow Year 6 children to come home to an empty house for an hour and a half? Thinking ahead to next year

OP posts:

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