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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Does your 10 year old play out?

38 replies

Workyticket · 10/07/2022 22:13

Ds has started having an hour in the park on the way home from school with his pals

He only walks home twice a week (20 minute walk which includes 2 busy roads) and only with friends

My dad has commented that he thinks ds is too young

Some of ds' friends aren't allowed to yet

Others are allowed out until 9pm!?!

What's the norm for others? Just trying to weigh up whether we're out of order / just right / too strict

OP posts:
ASimpleLampoon · 10/07/2022 23:49

DD is 10 and plays in a park by our house. Doesn't walk home yet but will from Sept. I would want them to to come home straight from school and go out after personally but maybe tis is not convenient for all situationsam

BiscoffSundae · 10/07/2022 23:58

Nope not normal for kids in my area to play out alone (main road london) I was saying to my mum I might start letting my son go to the shop alone but she equally said he was too young 😏 Funny I was playing out from age 5 alone! How parents forget

BiscoffSundae · 10/07/2022 23:58

He doesn’t walk to school alone it’s too far with lots of main roads

skinnylov · 11/07/2022 00:02

Mines is 9 and goes to the park round the corner from our house with her friend all the time. Her friend is 8. They play out till 8.30 since start of summer holidays. They are in and out of my house a lot but I think it's how it should be. Out playing instead of stuck home on screens.

smileandsing · 11/07/2022 00:25

DS is 9, he plays out close to home with the kids who live nearby and is allowed to the park around the corner. But he doesn't walk to/from school himself (10 mins walk in a 'safe' area where we know a lot of people) because I"m not happy for him to do so yet. He wouldn't be allowed to the park by the school on his own either. Several of his friends have these freedoms, but that's up to their parents.

Trust your instincts. If you're uneasy about this then don't continue it. There's no need to 'ease him in', he'll cope when he's older, and an hour at the park alone with friends straight after school regularly is unnecessary.
Is there someone at home who could meet him half way or wait at the park for him?

smileandsing · 11/07/2022 00:27

When you say you're going full time soon will there be anyone at home for him when he finishes school? I hope 'an hour at the park' isn't your childcare plan!

YerAWizardHarry · 11/07/2022 00:32

We live in a small village in the NE of Scotland. Kids walk home from Primary 4 (age 7/8) and are playing out from the same age. My DS is 9 but the youngest of his friends, most are 10 now. And he can come and go as he pleases through the holidays and things. He doesn’t get to stay out late though and generally doesn’t go out after tea

PortMac · 11/07/2022 00:47

WhyNott · 10/07/2022 22:19

@SavoirFlair is there any need to be so pedantic? Think it's the worst case I have seen on here to be honest! Anyway, not exactly what you asked but we live in a culture de sac where 9 year old stepchild plays out, safe area but I definitely wouldn't say 10 is too young at all.

A "culture de sac" . Oh how lovely 😂

Blanketpolicy · 11/07/2022 00:57

It depends on so many variables from the child to the area. Ds was playing out younger than 10, but we are in a quiet housing estate with no through road in a town, and lots of kids are playing out together. Stick ds in a inner city location or beside a busy main road it would be very different.

RightOnTheEdge · 11/07/2022 01:06

My dc are 9 and 11 and they've been playing out for a quite a while now all the kids round here do. They walk to school and back on their own.
It's a housing estate with the primary school on the middle so lots of kids live in the streets around here. They all call on each other and go round the streets on their bikes, go to the park or play in each other's gardens. They just gave tell me where they are going and who with. They have phones so we can call or message each other.

The 11yr old is allowed a bit further and to the bigger park in town but she will have to walk to the other side of town anyway in September to go to high school.

Mariposista · 11/07/2022 01:16

I seem to be writing the same thing on so many threads at the moment - stop focussing on age! Each child is different. If your kid is mature enough to walk with his mates and play in the park, stick together and come home when asked to, that's great. Another kid may be 12 and too immature to do this. It doesn't just click when you reach a certain number!

kilo · 11/07/2022 03:03

Just to add my two cents....my DS is turning 11 in September and starting Year 6. He'll be getting a phone and walking to school with a friend then (school is 10 min walk, quiet residential streets). I let him walk up through the woods with his older brother (who takes his phone) to meet friends on the playing fields. Again 10 min away and very busy walk route with lots of families, dog walkers and nieghbours that we know. I can track my older DS using the FindMy app and that gives me peace of mind. Also I like to feel that if something was wrong I could run to where they are easily. It's tricky to weigh it up, sometimes it feels really good and like they are getting the right balance of freedom and independance and sometimes I suddenly wonder if I'm taking a huge risk!! The joys of being a parent....

Original poster
Workyticket · 11/07/2022 08:00

smileandsing · 11/07/2022 00:27

When you say you're going full time soon will there be anyone at home for him when he finishes school? I hope 'an hour at the park' isn't your childcare plan!

Of course it's not my childcare plan

I've already said I'm not sure what we'll do

Currently:
Mon: he plays out then him and pals come to ours for tea
Tues: my dad picks him up
Wed: he plays out then goes to his pal's for tea
Thurs: mother in law picks up
Fri: after school club then I pick up

Need to sort the Monday and Wed because the other school mum is also changing her hours

OP posts:
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