To ask can you tell someone they smell?

[BiFoldChampion]

I know today is a particularly hot day but there is a school mum who always smells really really bad of body odour. She dresses relatively well, has immaculate hair and makeup. But omg she smells so so bad today I wasn’t even walking next to her (picking up kids from a party) but it makes me want to heave. She generally keeps herself to herself.

I’ve met her mum (she works in our local Sainsburys) and her mum smells the same and it’s really bad.

nothing I can say or so I don’t think without making her feel terrible.

Of course you can't say anything.

I think it depends how close you are. If you are friends then yes, just acquaintances then maybe not. She may have absolutely no idea and would be mortified but thankful for someone telling her, but I would only tell her if we were at least close-ish

I would leave it in this case. If you had to share an office with her and it was affecting you maybe not so much but this doesn't affect you at all so stay out of it. There's no nice way to be told you reek.

I wouldn’t

My best friend at work and I have a deal. If one of us smells, the other one says something. We’re close enough for that though. We go to each other for reassurance on hot days.

Random mum from the school run? I wouldn’t say anything if you don’t know her that well. It might be that she has a medical condition that makes her sweat more and there’s nothing she can do.

I've only said something to a colleague who smelled. I wouldn't say anything to someone who I didn't spend a lot of time with and who I could easily avoid. It's not the sort of thing that should come from an acquaintance.

No not unless she always insists on being close to you. You can just avoid her otherwise.

No don't say anything....you will regret it

Yes I just feel sad for her. Today she had on tight jeans and a black cardi! Nice clothes but I could smell her she was walking behind me to collect her DD and I turned round cos I thought where is that smell coming from!

Perhaps it is a condition as her mum really smells so bad too. They’re nice people but definitely just acquaintances

What make you think she doesn't know?

Of course you can't go up to someone you vaguely know and tell them they smell!

But if she knows then why isn’t she doing something about it?

Is it something in their house maybe if they live together? So its got in their clothes, hair etc. If the mum is that bad hopefully someone at her work would say something. I wonder why they can't smell if on each other.

I think you need to mind your own business.

You say nothing. It's rude.

Ok ok I get it! I just think if I smelled so bad I’d want to know. Our DDs been at same school since they were 3.

I don’t think they live together but Gran helps with pick ups etc

I think if they cant fix it within a matter of seconds, like something in your teeth, skirt tucked into knickers then don't say anything.

If you become friends then I would potentially

It's interesting that they smell the same but do not live together. Perhaps the DM has passed poor habits on, like not washing self or clothes properly or often enough.

Of course she will know that she smells. She won’t smell as strongly to herself as she does to others maybe but she will definitely know. She doesn’t do anything about it because she’s unclean. Sweat doesn’t immediately smell. It has to be there a while so she’s just not keeping clean.

I have a friend who swears excessively & she goes to great lengths to keep dry & clean. Spare tops & socks etc. Its not a given that a naturally sweaty person will smell.

*sweats excessively

Or it could be -

BROMHIDROSIS
HYPERHIDROSIS
DIABETES
THYROID CONDITIONS
KIDNEY FAILURE AND LIVER DYSFUNCTION
METABOLIC DISORDERS

To name a few medical conditions. Let’s hope she’s not cripplingly self conscious and just trying to get through school runs as best she can.

She probably knows she smells and either doesn't care, or is mortified about it and has tried lots of things already. It's none of your business. You hardly know her so it doesn't affect your life if she smells.

She's probably mortified. I used to swear excessively and smell really bad and it was horrendous. Do NOT say anything. As if she doesn't already know! She will already be acutely aware and miserable about it. I would expect it is a medical condition as her mother is the same - not all medical conditions have an easy fix (or a fix!) you know!

Ive never smelt anyone on a regular basis which walks round with immaculate hair and make up...

So the lady obviously washes her face and hair. Is it you OP that smells?