My boyfriend and I have been together for 18 months. It has been quite an intense 18 months in that we see each other most days, we've been on several holidays / weekends away together, we've met each others families and friends on several occasions. We also have one DC each, which met at the beginning of the year. Everything has been going really well. My boyfriend is 40, his DC is 12, and I am 30, my DC is 6.
We want to live together and are making plans to do so, so we both feel it's serious. He's always maintained that he loves me and wants a future with me, and I feel the same way about him. I, however, have always wanted another DC, and made that very clear from the start of our relationship, and in fairness to him, he has always maintained that he wasn't sure about another. In part, due to his age, but also because his DC is already 12. However, he has started dropping hints about us having another DC together, for example he will say things like, 'would you consider getting pregnant before we lived together?' and he has also spoken to his DC about the idea of us having another too. To be honest, I sort of took this as he was warming to the idea, especially as we are making plans to live together and he knows how much I want another DC. I haven't discussed it with him properly since around the 6 month mark.
Yesterday we were at a friends BBQ and I happened to overhear a conversation he was having with a friend. The friend asked if he wanted more children, and he laughed and said, 'I don't know, it's a bit of a sore subject.' It upset me, although I see that is irrational, as he has always maintained the same stance of being unsure. AIBU to think after 18 months he should be able to give an actual answer? I am really concerned about causing upheaval in my DC's life by moving if we aren't on the same page about this. If you think 18 months is too soon, what would you say is the right timeframe to get an actual answer?