TW pregnancy loss - AIBU to think losing my baby is an 'emergency'

[annonandon]

Found out we were expecting in Feb this year.

Neither DH or I are handy, so booked a local tradesman to decorate the nursery and put up furniture. He is very well reviewed and therefore tends to book up 12-18 months in advance. We have used him before and always happy with his work.

We booked in April after getting an early scan for the job to be completed end of October.

To book we needed to pay a 30% deposit, which was refundable in case of emergency.

Found out last week we had lost the baby and due to medical circumstances surrounding the loss it will be hard for us to get pregnant again.

Told the tradesman last night that we would need to cancel, he sent condolences but said this didn't count as an emergency as he could still decorate, just not for a nursery.

We don't need the room decorated if it's not for a nursery as it's just a normal guest room currently.

He has a very long wait list, so DH asked if he could at least try and rebook something on that date, if he is able to then he can refund the deposit. The tradesman is refusing to do this.

AIBU to think losing the person this room was being decorated for is enough of an emergency to get the deposit back. It's over 3 months from the start of the job, he has a wait list currently of 62 people (they post about it on their FB page)

I’d be all over social media about him. How callous he is!

And he’s an idiot too, you have used his services many times, but you’re hardly likely to use him again after this.

I'm not normally a fan of name and shame but in this case I absolutely would put something on the local FB groups.
He is heartless.

Go on facebook and tell all of his queue of 62 customers what a heartless bastard he is.

another vote for you and your husband to put something on social media. He’s being beyond heartless and greedy to boot.

i am so sorry your loss 💐

He’s a heartless arsehole who will obviously keep your deposit and book in another job anyway. As a lawyer I can tell you that his policy sounds like it was written by a monkey on the back of a fag packet. Please can you post the exact wording?

The Which? advice is good.

Very sorry for your loss.

So sorry for your loss. A money claim is very easy to make online and only costs £35 which gets added to the cost of the claim. I would definitely take him to court.

Thank you so much for this, really appreciated!

I would get the small claim going. A few points in law, firstly if there is an ambiguous contract terms like in this case “an emergency” then the benefit of the ambiguity goes towards the person who did not draft the contract, i.e. you in this case. Another point is the principle of equity and that both parties to a contract are expected to minimise their losses, so in this case he should be bringing somebody else forward.

You may think you are in a weak position but you are in a better position than you might think and that he appears to think too.

I don’t like airing my business on social media to be honest, so I don’t know if I would do that, but I have seldom seen a less deserving argument for doing so. Despicable man.

So sorry for your loss OP, i agree with posting this to FB

I cant imagine what kind of facebook review you're thinking of writing!
He’s a cold, heartless bastard.
Sending you both big hugs x

What an utter bastard. If I read a review saying this I'd never book him.

So sorry for your loss, you must be devastated. x

I'm normally very much on the side of the self employed. But this is disgusting!

October! Small claims.

If you jave anything in writing I'd hang on to that. For eg his refusal to try and find someone else.

I'd also review him locally. You're never going to use him again now.

I'm very sorry for your loss.

How much is the deposit ?

I would draft a letter to him with 'Pre-action protocol' as the heading. Explain the circumstances and reference that his terms re non-refundable deposits appear to be unfair under the consumer rights act and ask him again for a refund. Reiterate his refusal to attempt to fill the slot or to allow you to take steps to fill it.

Lots of local councils have a unit that deal with consumers rights- perhaps worth seeing if yours does?

Do you have a contract with terms and conditions of the deposit return, what work has been agreed to be completed?
As others have expressed I would ask what constitutes an emergency and again ask for your deposit to be returned due to your bereavement.

Really sorry for your loss OP, but from a consumer POV he is in the right. Every customer could have severe sickness or death in their family and the tradesman would be out of pocket for doing the"moral" thing.

This is incorrect. Read the Which? Link posted above.

Thanks for that, I stand corrected @HaveringWavering

Sorry for your loss.
While I wouldn't personally define this as an emergency I definitely have a compassionate side.
You'd be getting your deposit back ASAP....with a bunch of flowers.

I'd also make use of leaving a FB review, if his waiting list is that long they'll be pretty much no monetary loss too him.

And if the job was the next day or next week he'd have a point. But October is plenty of time to fill this slot.

What's the rest of the contract terms.
Because if it's payment on completion, I'd keep the booking on principal if he refuses to budge at all. And then cancel the morning he's due to turn up. Id damn we'll make it a challenge for him to book someone else in that slot if he was keeping my 30% deposit. I know he's likely to fill it, but it would be harder for him and more work.
And I'd leave a really factual review too. So if he refuses to then turn up, he's cancelled and you can ask for your deposit back.

I'm sorry he's being such a dick at an awful
time for you both.

I don’t think he’s doing anything wrong. You’re cancelling him so you lose the deposit, there’s nothing outrageous about that.

Why should he have to put in more time and effort finding someone to fill the slot and then doing all the extra that comes along with that? He’s right, you could still have him decorate for you, so it’s not an emergency for him, even if it is devastating for you.

Yabu. I think his reasons are more of an emergency, yours are more a change of plan. That doesn't mean though that you're not mire than entitled to feel devastated at your mc.

This. I'm sorry for your loss

Sorry for your loss 💐

I’d get a friend to phone up with an urgent decorating need and see if he’ll offer your slot! I bet he would! I’d also make sure every person on his waiting list knew how callous and selfish he was. Totally unnecessary as he’s had plenty of notice.