Need to lose 5 stone but not remotely in the headspace to do it

[LongTermIssues]

I tried going back to slimming world a few weeks ago (I first joined back in 2020 but then stopped when I got pregnant mid-2021). I’m 5 and a half stone away from the top end of a healthy BMI (am classed as obese) and I know I desperately need to lose that weight but I just have not got the headspace at all to deal with it.

im 5 months post-partum with my second child and it doesn’t help that I see fellow mums with same age babies and they look incredible already.

also, I’m under the perinatal team as have suspected BPD/EUPD so my mind is obv all over the place.

do I just forget about trying to lose weight at the mo until mentally I’m more stable or should I try find some motivation somewhere?!

Put aside £500. For each stone you lose you give your self £100. Put a year or two year limit on it and after that anything else has to go to charity.

Start small.
For example, cut out bread.
This will also mean you'll be naturally cutting down on butter, jam, etc.
If you eat bread at breakfast, replace it with porridge which is lowcal, quick, cheap and nutritious.

Decent buggy for walking and some headphones....
Choose a different artist to listen to every day...
Small goals op.
Rooting for you ..

I don't think it's an either/or.

5 months pp is so little time to judge yourself or go on a strict eating plan.

If you have MH problems too that's a huge amount to deal with.

But you can think about what foods make you feel good /healthy and which make you feel bloated and tired. Choosing a nice bit of fish and some roasted veg for instance is a healthy choice but you don't feel deprived. Not eating lots of processed foods but veg sticks and humous will make you feel better, but if you have an occasional take away or magnum that's fine too.

So basically try to make healthy choices but don't beat yourself up if you can't as you've got heaps on

Hey, I’m in a similar place weight wise. Feel awful with how I look and feel but just CANNOT face being deprived, counting, measuring, basically a diet or the thinly disguised diets that are around. So have decided a big difference to my calorie intake will be if I just shut up shop with regards to eating after dinner ie no evening snacking!!! That way I only have about 3 hours to get through a day of being different to what I am, and those 3 hours are where about 80% of the damage happens for me…I’ve only been doing it a week so can’t comment on weight loss, is this something you think might work for you?

OP I'm kind of in the same place as you. Nearly 5month pp 2nd child and need to lose 3 stone or so. I dont feel in the headspace either and binge eat far too much.

As pp said maybe try cutting after dinner food? I'm going to try this as I eat so much in the evenings after dinner.

I'm very overweight. I started ww last week and it is helping. Did it years ago. Im really surprised by how much snacking I did in the past.

Get out walking with buggy and make a couple of healthy choices a day, start small and build!

Never try to lose anything more than three pounds at a time. If you lose three pounds, set yourself another three pounds.

Great replies! I'm in it for the tips. You're not alone OP x

Sounds obvious: if you don't buy it, you can't eat it.
Don't go food shopping on an empty stomach and avoid the biscuit/chocolate/fizzy drink aisles.
Eat plenty good protein.
I once heard a (skinny!) bariatric surgeon say "I never eat white food" (bread, rice, pasta, potato...)

Best of luck to you.

Do Just one small thing. I think not eating in the evenings really helps. I had toast and butter at night for years and I’ve cut it out now and feel better for it. I’ve gradually stopped craving it too. Last night I just had a cup of tea!

I understand you want to lose weight, but what is hurry? Putting pressure on yourself with a young baby will be incredibly hard. Do your best. Eat healthily, enjoy the food you eat. Have lots of delicious fruits you like. Lots of walking etc.

I’ve started having two dessert spoons of full fat Greek yogurt with berries at about 8pm and it stops me snacking.
I’ve also cut down drinking, as If I have wine that’s when the crackers and crisps come out.

Agree with others, for now, don't try and lose weight, just try to be a bit healthier. At the beginning of each month, change one thing about your lifestyle to be healthier.

That might be a daily walk this month, then next month you could decide to make a healthy, low fat breakfast every day, the month after you could stop evening snacks etc.

I'm aiming to lose 2st. I could probably do with 4. You're seeing the 5st. That's a big number. Where would losing 4lb put you?
If I lost 4lb I would be very 14st 3. That's verrrry close to 14! Then if I lost another 4lb I would be finally under 14.

Break it into much smaller numbers. Good luck!

I’ve got 3 stone to lose to get to the top end of the advised weight range. I’ve taken the decision to stop eating crap in the evening. So far I’ve only eaten an apple or a carrot etc. I’ve also realised that the sugary stuff (in my case cake, biscuits, chocolate) has to go because I’ve got some psoriasis in the scalp and I’ve read that sugar inflames that. I have a teen still at home who is skinny and has a good diet - but does like a biscuit and baked stuff. Why should I stop buying or baking because I’m fat? That’s not fair to him. I need to act like an adult and develop some self control. Two weeks on and 5 pounds off so far. I’ll be happy with 1 or 2 pounds off each week but it has to go. I’m also cutting out bread Monday to Friday.

Do you prefer snacking throughout the day?

That makes you a grazer. If so, then take out all your main meals completely and snack on healthy choices.

Some people do this by preparing their food for the day in advance. So, chop up carrots, celery sticks, cucumber, raw cauliflower, peppers etc plus some protein like a tin of tuna in mayo or hummus or cheese.

Then chop up some fruit or have a handful of dried fruits and nuts and seeds.

Don't forget something you consider a treat like a few squares of chocolate, or slice of cake or a few crisps or a small glass of your favourite tipple.

If you do this every day and alter the protein and fibre sources but keep up all the fruit and veg you will soon see a massive difference.

Good luck op

I think you need to prioritise.

Your mental health comes first because that's what will make the most immediate and important changes to your quality of life.

I wouldn't focus hard on the weight loss at this point. Like pp have said, if/when you have the mental space for it, try to think of small changes you can make to be healthier. It doesn't matter how small the change is, what matters is that it be sustainable. It can be something as minor as switching yoghurt for a low-fat equivalent, or eating a fruit everyday, or getting smaller portions...

Hey lady! A tiny human came out of you 5 months ago, I think you need to cut yourself some slack.

I personally wouldn't pay at this stage for classes. Up your fruit & veg, drink loads of water and go for a walk each day x

Enjoy your baby x

I agree about starting small. You need to see what foods your eating repetitively and find a different choice. What’s your weakness? I’m m going to guess there’s a lot of ultra processed stuff being eaten but you tell us.

My Firness Pal app is helpful for seeing where those calories add up. Even if you just do it for a few weeks, it may help to develop healthier eating habits

A square of dark chocolate helps me at night. A bit of a treat, not too unhealthy, and helps me not to wire into cheese and biscuits

It's a marathon not a sprint, and it wint always be easy, but I'm sure you can reduce your weight if you're willing to put in some effort

Good luck

If you're really not in the headspace to do it, I would work on your mental health first. You're adjusting to having a baby to look after and big dietary changes right now may tip you over the edge. The motivation for weight loss is more likely to come when you're in a better place mentally

Don't have any crap foods in the house
Eat mostly lean protein and vegetables
Healthy snacks such as apples, grapes, carrots, cucumber.
Don't drink calories - very important this!
Only eat between 10 am and 6 pm
Be as active as you can - walking and light exercise*

• try Lucy Wyndham Read - even 10 minutes can make a difference, especially in terms of changing your mental outlook. Lucy has lots of short workouts on YouTube - here's one:

Don't obsess about losing weight - it'll take time but it will happen if you take it one day at a time.

I find being positive about yourself works better than punishing yourself.
I was overweight for years and tried diet after diet. But what worked for me was not thinking "I'm going to lose weight" but thinking "I'm going to be fit and healthy." So instead of weight goals I set myself running goals - completing c25k, then a 10k, then a half, then a marathon. I ate well to fuel a healthy lifestyle - as a positive thing, rather than a negative "I need to be thinner" thing. It was about loving my body and what it could do rather than trying to shrink it.
Anyway, I lost a lot of weight and have kept it off. I'm also the fittest I've ever been.
You could start today, OP - week one of c25k combined with a healthy diet. See how you feel this time next week, when you'll be three runs in.