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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To still be absolutely gutted 2 weeks on

31 replies

9to5jingles · 09/07/2022 21:00

I recently switched to a different part of my organisation a slightly more senior role. This was because there wasn't likely to be an opportunity for promotion in that team so felt it was best to move on.
I knew very quickly it probably wasn't the best move for me and I really missed the previous work.
Within a week my previous manager contacted me to tell me they had been able to agree a new post within my old team which would be ideal for me.
My old manager plus lots of other seniors really encouraged me to go for it and said I would be a shoe in after all my hard work etc
I really prepped for the interview workimh hours every evening sorting presentation practising answers etc

I didn't get it. Noone did they went out for advert again. I thought I did OK at interview but it obviously wasn't good enough.
I'm still absolutely gutted I would have loved that job and I've worked so hard. I could still cry 2 weeks later feels like I missed my big shot. My confidence is at 0 so won't be attempting it again

OP posts:
Ziggerty · 09/07/2022 21:01

Very dissapointing for you! Did you ask them for feedback on why you weren't suitable?

Peterpiperpickedapepper · 09/07/2022 21:02

Definitely ask for feedback and try again!

Original poster
9to5jingles · 09/07/2022 21:06

They said I didn't give detailed enough examples for the management type questions.
I applied a star approach to each one and gave a situation that fitted their question but I'm not sure what was missing so don't think I'd be able to do any better next time?

OP posts:
Original poster
9to5jingles · 10/07/2022 07:43

I need to snap out if it I know but really regret not getting it not saying the right thing etc etc

OP posts:
Ziggerty · 10/07/2022 07:47

Sounds like you had a good relationship with your old manager so worth contacting them and asking for some more useful feedback that you can work on. Then also worth working on building upon your resilience. Try to reframe the situation - e.g. when you know what they want this allows you to be clear on what to work on/get more experience in preparation etc.

Aprilx · 10/07/2022 07:49

9to5jingles · 10/07/2022 07:43

I need to snap out if it I know but really regret not getting it not saying the right thing etc etc

Interviews are not a great way to assess a candidates suitability for a role, but they are a relatively cost and time effective methodology which is why they are so widely used.

But to rule out an internal candidate, who is known and deemed to be a good fit, because they said the wrong think in an internal interview makes no sense. So I suspect that you were not in the running anyway, no matter what you said.

It is very annoying, I once worked at a company whereby they would encourage people to go for internal roles even though they have already made their mind up, sometimes they just wanted the applicant numbers. In this particular company I worked for, they didn’t have many women in senior roles and they tracked things like how many women applied and were interviewed, so…

dudsville · 10/07/2022 07:49

Can you ask for more detailed feedback, speak to the manager, others? I know this is painful when your confidence has evaporated, but reapplying and trying again is worth it for a great job, and speaking to everyone you can shows them who you are, that you can take a knock and get back up again. Interview questions won't capture it, but they'll know it. If you still don't get the job you'll have lost nothing because the worst had already happened.

Luidaeg · 10/07/2022 07:51

Arseholes!! Basically, they know you can do the job, you were told to go for it, and they turned you down.

Autienotnaughtie · 10/07/2022 07:56

It seems like your manager thought you'd be great but the people interviewing didn't see you in the that role or didn't want you to leave your current job. You have to do pretty poorly not to get a job internally especially given no one else got it. I'm sure your interview was fine. It seems like there's another agenda here, rubbish for you though.

endofthelinefinally · 10/07/2022 07:58

They are just using you to make up the numbers for their interview stats.
I think it might be time to look for a new job in a different organisation.

NellWilsonsWhiteHair · 10/07/2022 07:59

Aprilx · 10/07/2022 07:49

Interviews are not a great way to assess a candidates suitability for a role, but they are a relatively cost and time effective methodology which is why they are so widely used.

But to rule out an internal candidate, who is known and deemed to be a good fit, because they said the wrong think in an internal interview makes no sense. So I suspect that you were not in the running anyway, no matter what you said.

It is very annoying, I once worked at a company whereby they would encourage people to go for internal roles even though they have already made their mind up, sometimes they just wanted the applicant numbers. In this particular company I worked for, they didn’t have many women in senior roles and they tracked things like how many women applied and were interviewed, so…

Show quote history

Just wanted to say that this is absolutely not universally true. I have been on the panel in this situation before. We had an internal candidate who was actually already doing the job on temporary promotion, was clearly doing it very well, his manager (also on the panel) really wanted him to get it. We'd only shortlisted two for interview and the external candidate pulled out.

Internal candidate interviewed poorly and we couldn't appoint.

We spent ages going back and forth as a panel. We obviously wanted to be fair to the candidate, and the hiring manager really didn't want to continue with an under-resourced team, face the likelihood of losing this guy who was very good at his job. But our recruitment processes (civil service) are inflexible and we couldn't reasonably score his answers highly enough to appoint. Even though we knew he was good enough.

I think and hope his manager gave him much more detailed and useful feedback than you describe OP.

Sympathies on the rejection - I've had a couple of these recently (at written application stage, and where I was a relatively anonymous quantity, so much less close and personal than you were!) and it really sucks.

Original poster
9to5jingles · 10/07/2022 08:01

Yeah that's it. They were quite adamant I go for it even when I explained I probably shouldn't as I didn't want to be a hassle to my new department I was told its all been ok'd by higher manager. Very explicit that I had to go for it with lots of pressure from other seniors that they wanted me for the job.
Since I got the call I didn't get the job, the manager said try again and go for the job but it would be too awkward now.

OP posts:
Blowthemandown · 10/07/2022 08:10

9to5jingles · 10/07/2022 08:01

Yeah that's it. They were quite adamant I go for it even when I explained I probably shouldn't as I didn't want to be a hassle to my new department I was told its all been ok'd by higher manager. Very explicit that I had to go for it with lots of pressure from other seniors that they wanted me for the job.
Since I got the call I didn't get the job, the manager said try again and go for the job but it would be too awkward now.

@9to5jingles don’t worry about ‘awkward’ - everyone will have forgotten in 6 months. Otherwise you will regret this.

Mummyoflittledragon · 10/07/2022 08:15

Please don’t let pride get in the way of trying again.

dudsville · 10/07/2022 08:17

Honestly @9to5jingles get more information and try again. I interviewed a colleague in very similar circumstances. She was perfect and we really wanted her in the role. Her interview was a surprise, we didn't expect it and couldn't appoint her. Her confidence was shattered, it was awful. But, we all pulled in around her, gave her mock interviews, talked through the issues, etc , interviews are a terrible form of assessment, you just need to work out what's required of the ridiculous performance. Get to work on it ASAP.

endingintiers · 10/07/2022 08:20

Get more detailed feedback and go for it again. You'll have a one up on external candidates as you understand the job and team culture, plus you've had a practice interview. Don't let pride get in the way of the perfect job.

Gemstar2 · 10/07/2022 08:29

How would you feel in 6 months time if you still don’t like your new job and you see someone external doing the job you wanted? I think you’d be kicking yourself for not swallowing your pride and trying again. Also imagine they ask you a question because you know the area well and they haven’t got a clue? They might not be a better fit for the role, just more experienced at interviews.

I would feel similarly to you, OP, awkward and wounded, but try to do everything you can to get better feedback and apply again. Ask one of these seniors who encouraged you to go for it to do a mock interview with you and give you feedback on your interview technique.

Everywhere I’ve worked in the public sector recruitment is a score chart and you have to just score a number based on the answer, even if you know the person can already do the job, and it’s heartbreaking when internal candidates fluff the interview but that’s the system.

If you do interview again, look up some breathing exercises to calm your nerves. Then try to imagine you’ve never met the panel before, even if they’re all people you work with. Of course they know what you’re talking about, but pretend they don’t - it’s a box ticking exercise and they need to hear the detail to be able to tick the box.

Good luck OP!

Original poster
9to5jingles · 10/07/2022 09:33

It's getting those ticks in a box isn't it. How do I know answers they are looking for I genuinely thought some of the answers were decent and based on good examples of relevant situations.
I've watched a lot of videos/listened to podcasts on interview techniques - but does anyone have any recommendations pls?

OP posts:
GNfan · 10/07/2022 09:40

Definitely definitely go for it again and then come on here to tell us you've got the job! They've told you what you fell down on. Perfectly ok to ask for more details. You sound like a really confident person. Try not to let this setback knock you. They will appreciate your dedication and persistence if you try again. And you know the questions this time!

Original poster
9to5jingles · 19/07/2022 17:31

Update on this thread I as 8k

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Original poster
9to5jingles · 24/07/2022 11:36

Upstate as I did apply again and have interview on Tuesday having second thoughts now especially as my new boss is just so lovely and appreciative of everything Im doing.

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Original poster
9to5jingles · 24/07/2022 11:38

The other thing is I scored highest out of all the interviewees worked out around 74% but manager said I hadn't convinced her enough so didn't appoint

OP posts:
dudsville · 24/07/2022 11:39

If you go to the interview and get an offer then you'll have a choice, but it also sounded like your old colleagues were also good. Is it a win win situation?

LookItsMeAgain · 24/07/2022 12:37

Question for you @9to5jingles - were you promised this new role in your team that you're having to interview for again? If you were, I'd go to HR.

Original poster
9to5jingles · 24/07/2022 13:48

It was informally promised got a call from. Old manager saying we want you back in team we've created this role it's got your name all over it you must apply but don't stress as it's meant for you.
It was a big upset when I was turned down as I was 99.9% sure I'd get it everyone assumed I would.

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