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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for this picture to be removed?

76 replies

trezzi · 09/07/2022 08:56

My daughter is 7, she went to a school friends birthday party last weekend and I've seen some pictures that the mother of the child has shared on social media from the party.

There is a picture of my daughter and her son along with 2 other children. Her son is stood between my daughter and another child putting both his middle fingers up at the camera. My daughter is smiling next to him.

I don't feel comfortable with this photo being on social media. Im not comfortable with this picture being taken in the first place, never mind putting on social media! I'm not one for swearing or using any type of similar gestures - absolutely not in front of my daughter anyway.

I just want to check that I'm not being petty here and over reacting as I do have a tendency to do so from time to time.

Though I do hope you all tell me I'm not as I'm raging inside! But equally, I'll take it if I'm over reacting!

OP posts:
clpsmum · 09/07/2022 12:27

I think you are over reacting tbh

MissMaple82 · 09/07/2022 12:42

No, you are not overreacting at all..I'd feel the same way.

Cantstandbullshit · 09/07/2022 12:44

Electriq · 09/07/2022 09:09

I think your overreacting

No she’s not overreacting. That is very irresponsible for the parent to encourage her son to use such gestures in the first place, to take pics and post on Facebook is just ridiculous.

I would be requesting she takes off such picture off social media.

Cantstandbullshit · 09/07/2022 12:46

Abraxan · 09/07/2022 10:13

I suspect the child thinks he's doing the 'Peace' sign rather than the sweary sign.

Lots of young children do it by accident in my experience. I take lots of pictures of children at school and many will do it, trying to emulate older siblings/pictures they've seen on parent/sibling's social media, Almost all are just holding their fingers the wrong way round by accident rather than knowingly giving the V.

Obviously at school we ask them not to pose that way, so don't take them, but it really is generally an innocent mistake rather than a deliberate attempt to swear.

Though it will depend on the child/family too I guess,

Show quote history

Really? But surely the parents know better. No I don’t think he thinks he’s doing the peace sign, and if he was then he should be corrected not encouraged by posting on Facebook.

CottonSock · 09/07/2022 12:46

Yanbu I wouldn't like this either.

Cakeandcardio · 09/07/2022 13:17

I don't think you are overreacting. Bottom line is it's YOUR daughter. You do what you want and you don't have to justify yourself. I have never put anything about my child online and always tell people to take anything they put up down (even just mentioning their name).

UnshakenNeedsStirring · 09/07/2022 13:25

You are over reacting

Hatsoff5 · 09/07/2022 13:25

chilledbubble · 09/07/2022 09:03

I mean she'll likely know that it's you. Could you not just ask her to take your child's pictures down as you don't want her on social media?

Show quote history

No she won't reports are anamous

PizzaPatel · 09/07/2022 13:44

No I wouldn’t like that.

BeautifulSunrise · 09/07/2022 15:58

You're not being unreasonable. Regardless of the content of the pictures, I'd never post pictures of someone else's child on social media without first asking. I even ask with family and close friends. She should have asked.

Garron · 09/07/2022 16:11

You’re not being unreasonable. It doesn’t matter what the other kid is doing; it’s a photo of your child, on social media without your consent. I have never posted a photo of anyone else’s child on social media and if I wanted to, I’d ask for their permission. I’d ask FB to take it down.

IWentAwayIStayedAway · 09/07/2022 16:27

glad it's been taken down. ywnbu

alwaysmovingforwards · 09/07/2022 16:32

LampLighter414 · 09/07/2022 09:11

If that’s the kind of behaviour this boy exhibits and his parents proudly display on social media I’d be making sure my daughter keeps away from him at school and wouldn’t be attending future parties

Agreed.
For the kid to do it is not great.
For the mum to see that as a great pic to share... utter pond life imo.

drpet49 · 09/07/2022 16:35

“To be honest I’d be uncomfortable with that too, a seven year old doing that it’s not funny and I can’t imagine why she thinks it is something to put on social media. Classy woman.”

^This sums it up well. Grim. Why would anyone post that on social media is beyond me.

Mapletreelane · 09/07/2022 16:41

YANBU and you are not overreacting.

I would never post a picture of another child without the parent's permission. Heck, I hardly post pics of my own kids as they don't like it.

Other parent sounds a delight though. I'd be steering well clear.

Mapletreelane · 09/07/2022 16:45

@trezzi Sorry, just seen your post that pic has been removed. Glad it's worked out. And clearly wasn't just you who thought it was unacceptable.

alicedj22 · 09/07/2022 16:47

It's very crass, I don't like to see it either. But I'm confused why you're so cross about your daughter being in the photo. She wasn't doing it so what's the problem?

ManateeFair · 09/07/2022 18:56

It’s your child so you’re entitled to ask for the picture to be taken down for whatever reason you like. Personally I think this is a massive overreaction, though. I agree that it’s pretty unpleasant to photograph a small child making a horrible gesture; I would absolutely look at it and think “What is wrong with that boy’s parents?” But nobody is going to think “Goodness me, fancy standing next a little boy who is making a rude gesture, OP’s daughter is clearly implicated in this”. Nobody is even going to notice any of the other kids in the picture, in fact, because they’ll be too busy cringing at the birthday boy being rude.

strawberrylacey · 09/07/2022 19:05

I know that boy's mum's type. If she thinks it's okay to put up pictures of her son swearing then I'm going to assume any requests to take her pics down featuring your daughter will be met with essentially two words: "F off".

strawberrylacey · 09/07/2022 19:06

They're obviously a scummy family so probably make that the last party of theirs you send your DD to.

alphapie · 09/07/2022 19:07

This is the definition of PFB.

YABu, you'll be 'that' mother to make such a request, one she doesn't have to nor most likely will listen to.

custardbear · 09/07/2022 19:09

I'd hate this! If anyone tagged me in I'd ask them to remove it or co tact FB
Unless the said child has Tourette's I'd assume the family are pretty shit with age appropriate behaviours

itrytomakemyway · 09/07/2022 19:11

Perhaps he is about to join the Education Dept - it seems acceptable there....

strawberrylacey · 09/07/2022 19:11

Eeiliethya · 09/07/2022 11:51

I have a relative on FB and I ended up having to block her because the second hand cringe was too strong.

She would post pictures and videos of her small kids swearing thinking it was hilarious and bragging how "the apple didn't fall far from the tree".

I'm not a prude by any measure and do have a mouth like a Navvy myself but there is something about a 6 year old girl saying "tits" that doesn't sit well with me. It's not big and it's not clever.

These pictures and videos once uploaded are completely uncontrolled and who knows when they will pop back up again, such as future jobs or uni applications.

YNBU.

Well for them it doesn't matter.

Knowing their type, the kids will have no interest in going to university or getting a job whatsoever. Girls will be up the duff as soon as they leave school, boys will grow up to be gangsters.

EaselArt · 09/07/2022 19:11

boys will be boys, and girls need to learn to smile sweetly on! I wonder if it would have been posted if the roles were reversed

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