To ask for this picture to be removed?

[trezzi]

My daughter is 7, she went to a school friends birthday party last weekend and I've seen some pictures that the mother of the child has shared on social media from the party.

There is a picture of my daughter and her son along with 2 other children. Her son is stood between my daughter and another child putting both his middle fingers up at the camera. My daughter is smiling next to him.

I don't feel comfortable with this photo being on social media. Im not comfortable with this picture being taken in the first place, never mind putting on social media! I'm not one for swearing or using any type of similar gestures - absolutely not in front of my daughter anyway.

I just want to check that I'm not being petty here and over reacting as I do have a tendency to do so from time to time.

Though I do hope you all tell me I'm not as I'm raging inside! But equally, I'll take it if I'm over reacting!

Absolutely this. Any parent who does this is one to avoid in my book.

I would be exactly the same and would not be happy but I also hate swearing and realise am a bit more extreme in that sense!

I suspect the child thinks he's doing the 'Peace' sign rather than the sweary sign.

Lots of young children do it by accident in my experience. I take lots of pictures of children at school and many will do it, trying to emulate older siblings/pictures they've seen on parent/sibling's social media, Almost all are just holding their fingers the wrong way round by accident rather than knowingly giving the V.

Obviously at school we ask them not to pose that way, so don't take them, but it really is generally an innocent mistake rather than a deliberate attempt to swear.

Though it will depend on the child/family too I guess,

Ah, re-read the post and it's just middle finger. Slightly different then and yes, more likely to be deliberate than accident.

I'd avoid any adult who posted a photo of themselves with thier middle finger up never-mind one who thought to do it of their child. Really crass.

I'd let it go
They won't care

I've a few sayings I use with my kids. Fly with the crows and you'll get shot with the crows is one of my more commonly used ones. I'm far from posh but I don't think I'd want my sweet little girl in a photo like that. It's awful to see and tacky as fuck and would give a negative impression of all those in the pic. I told my kids a long time ago when they started hanging around with the local troublemakers that they'd be labelled too. I think it's a slightly similar (albeit milder) thing with the photo.
Get FB to remove it.
As others have said, I would also rethink associating with a family who think posting photos of their small children swearing is an okay thing to do.

Yeah I wouldn’t be impressed either OP, but then I also wouldn’t want pictures of my DC posted online

Gross that she posted a photo of her kid doing that. It’s not clever and it’s not funny. I’d be tagging them as a family to avoid in future.

Id ask her to remove any pictures of your daughter.

I wouldn't like it & want it taken down.

My sister's youngest used to do that sort of thing being silly & cheeky, she thought it was funny and take pictures of it, thought the rest of us were boring prudes if we said anything about him being rude. And yes, he is a nightmare as a young adult now.

Do you put pictures of your children on social media? If not then asking her to remove it simply saying that you don't put pictures online is fine. If you do use Facebook for pictures then you need to explain why that picture is a problem when she obviously thinks it's funny

Things like this are exactly why pictures of my child are not allowed on social media/internet at all. We don't post them, we don't allow others to and we are the awkward parents who tick "no" on the registration sheets when we sign DC up for classes/activities. No one should feel uncomfortable about a picture of their child and setting boundaries about photos from the baby stage is important.

Speak to the mother and say please take it down, we like to control what pictures are shared online of our child. It's a reasonable request to make directly. Don't mention the swearing as for that part you are overreacting (imo).

Reconsider how you use social media with regards to pictures of your DC and other people's DCs too... Don't be a hypocrite posting pictures of other people's children if you want to control how your DC are photographed (I'm not saying you do, but just be aware of this).

I agree op, I'd say something, it's pretty crass

I would feel exactly the same OP. Completely inappropriate and I wouldn't want my DC judged by association.

That's fine but equally don't assume I do the same. I never post pictures of other peoples children for this very reason. I never have and I never would.

Nor do I post many pictures of my own dc. I don't post much at all infact but that's just me. If you looked at my profile, you would see I haven't posted anything since may last year.

It's just a photo. I couldn't get my knickers in a twist over it. Nobody really cares anyway

The photo has been removed. Another parent who's child was in the photo has asked for it to be removed through the what's app group that was set up for the party.

She apologised and said she posted the photos late last night (true) and put it on by accident. So all sorted now.

I wouldn't like it and I would silently judge the other parents. But in reference to your DC, I don't think this is as big of a deal as you're perhaps seeing it as.

It's just not something I would ever do as a parent.

As I've said, I'd never post other peoples children. I have step children who I would never even post pictures of but I rarely post anything anyway.

But I understand completely social media is so huge in our lives and people have different opinions of what is and isn't acceptable. The other picture of DD I don't mind.

I just find it odd that a parent would find it acceptable to post a picture of other peoples children where there was an inappropriate gesture. At the age of 7. Too young in my opinion.

She's said it was a mistake now anyway and another parent complained so it wasn't just me that thought this. It really wasn't a nice picture.

That's good.
I'm a regular SM user and do post pics of my kids (and their friends but always check their parents SM stance first) but I do take care of which photos I post. I hate when someone posts a group shot where they're looking great but one person has their eyes half closed or it's just a bad photo in general of them. It's embarrassing for that person. So even if you think posting is okay with that person, make sure that the entire thing is okay. No one looking terrible, or that there's nothing in the pic they wouldn't want their bosses to see etc. I wish more people did that. There's quite a few pics online of me looking like shit. I don't allow tagging without approval now.

I have a relative on FB and I ended up having to block her because the second hand cringe was too strong.

She would post pictures and videos of her small kids swearing thinking it was hilarious and bragging how "the apple didn't fall far from the tree".

I'm not a prude by any measure and do have a mouth like a Navvy myself but there is something about a 6 year old girl saying "tits" that doesn't sit well with me. It's not big and it's not clever.

These pictures and videos once uploaded are completely uncontrolled and who knows when they will pop back up again, such as future jobs or uni applications.

YNBU.

No one should be posting any photos of children on social media unless they are their own !

"My child does not have access to any social media yet you have taken it upon yourself to photograph and share her face publicly with another child making obscene gestures. I did not consent. Remove this immediately."

In my view taking/sharing pics of other people's children is just a no no unless you've got the express consent of the parents.
I'd get it removed via Facebook definitely

I agree 100%