To ask for your help- have let myself go

[thaimoon]

I'm nearly two stone heavier than I should be. None of my clothes fit because I don't want to buy new ones- "holding out for when I lose the weight". The ones that do fit are stained because I have a two year old who likes to cover me in felt too marks or food or mud.

I've got frizzy tangled up hair that I never seem to have time to sort so it's always just scraped back.

I'm just tired all the time and it makes me just want to reach for the junk food and stay in my sofa with a glass of wine.
I'd say I have one most nights which I know is bad.

I just need a kick up the bum to do something about it! I also don't know how people find the time??

So if anyone has any advice or tips or words of wisdom m that might help me to get my shit together I'd be most grateful, please and thank you

Losing weight is mainly diet, and that’s just willpower. I cut out sugar and a lot of carbs and it did me the world of good.

Regarding exercise, I go three times a week, during my lunch hour.

First thing - get some clothes that fit and look nice on you, get your hair done and remind yourself you are worth being treated well and feeling nice regardless of weight.

its only when you feel good about yourself that lasting changes happen.

Be kind to yourself.

Gosh that's so disciplined!
Well done!
Thank you for your reply too

Thank you for this lovely comment

I second @Merryoldgoat , just taking the time to get your hair done, nails, make up, whatever makes you feel more put together will really help.

Also you don't need to go at it in one fell swoop if you don't need to - try just cutting out the wine at first, you can lose a few pounds just by doing that and nothing else

Firstly, buy some clothes that fit and look nice.

Second of all, change your diet. Not in order to lose weight but because you matter, and what you feed your body counts.

If you do want to lose weight could you find time to go to a group like slimming world? Going to group is so sociable it's like going for a coffee with friends .

But practice self love by feeding your body good food. Save the wine for just the weekend.

I found Noom very helpful- they are very good at being supportive and giving practical tips. They offer a free trial too.

Yes, thank you that's a good point. A bit at a time feels more manageable

Do you know what I've often wondered about slimming world and whether I would have the courage to go to a group, so thanks for your comment- it's good to know it would be welcoming

Thank you, I'll take a look at that

Oh OP, this was me just a couple of months ago!! The best thing I did was buying a few nice clothes that fit, we are so harsh on ourselves and our bodies!

Next thing, it really is willpower and once you just get into it and decide you are going to lose the weight, your brain shifts its mentality to the 'I can do this' and as you start to lose the first couple of kgs you start feeling so much better that it gives you the willpower to carry on.

You have to find what works for you. From previous experience I know that counting calories doesn't work for me. I do intermittent fasting whilst also cutting heavy carbs and sugar. Once you don't have the sugar for a while the craving for it goes and you start to feel better. I am 5 kg's lighter and can really feel it, 12 more to go into i reach my happy weight!!!

Good luck, you can do it!! My little one is almost 2 and I know it's hard but just start, don't wait until Monday every time. Even if you overindulge one day, tomorrow is a new day! I really need to up my exercise game though!

Don't worry about the weight - you can look good at any size. I'd focus on getting a decent hair cut and buying clothes that fit properly and flatter your figure. There is a great group on Facebook called Style Sisterhood where they talk anoit body shapes and everyone is very kind and supportive. There are professional stylists on there too who could help if you needed it. If you're tired all the time it could be an underlying health issue so maybe visit the doctor to get checked out ? It is probably best to knock the drinking on the head, it would also help with weight loss.

Slimming World is also nice and supportive. I went and really enjoyed it, I also lost weight and its very easy to follow

Totally agree with this!

Go where?

This is me!! I got myself together after my first baby but I'm back where I started after my second.

Check out Legs, bums and bubbas, it's exercise tailored to mum's and it's fantastic. I used to do a 15-30 workout most evenings once my son was in bed and it made such a difference. There's a really supportive Facebook group too! It's well worth the fiver a month and 15 minutes is so doable.

I've heard good things about the Joe Wicks plan too.

I'm getting ready to get my arse in gear now my second baby is 7 months, I need to be able to fit in my uniform when I go back to work 🙈

Don't have junk food in the house. Or wine.

Would you considerlw carb?

Why not buy a capsule wardrobe? Look at TikTok / YouTube for ideas.

Basic idea is all pieces go with each other so you can make more outfits.

Then when you lose weight you can sell the clothes on vinted.

Everyone deserves to have nice comfortable and clean clothes for the shape they are right now.

@thaimoon i know how you feel - I’m the same. Just posted on here about a UTI that won’t shift and it’s adding to my woes.

i think people are always harsher on themselves and their appearance. But I know it’s a shit way to feel.

Cut the sugar and the saturated fats. Carbs can be problematic but you also need enough "good" carbs (long-acting) to keep yourself going. Your cells need glucose to function, so restricting carbs is likely to make you feel more lethargic and tired which is then going to make you crave more sugar and fats.

You then need to mindfully notice when you have an urge to eat "bad" food - stop, take a moment to ask what is going on and what would be wise in the moment and then opt to have an alternative. This is HARD because you've been conditioned to link sugar/fats with feeling comforted/full. Therefore its a case of having to push through and act against the urge. It is painful but it can be done.

Good luck!

This was me! I started by getting a hair cut and having a non negotiable skin care routine every night, a few dresses in my bigger size and then counting calories and walking more.
I've lost 2 stone now, aiming to lose another one. But the best bit is really how much better I feel, how much more energy I have, how much happier I am and that makes me a better mum. I want to do more fun things with the kids rather than moping around like a martyr who never does anything for herself.
Take care of yourself, you look after everyone else I bet, so you're the person who needs to be the most looked after and healthy/happy. You're the glue that holds it all together, you are important!

Two stone. You can crack this. My Dm works on her weight if she gains a bit. I have perfected the method of doing something when my ass will not fit through the attic hatch. Hence now being at SW with about 3 stone to go.

Buy clothes that you like and that fit, throw away anything stained or worn out. Wear your nice clothes every day and....buy an apron! I love my apron! It has pockets in the front and it means I can get ready in the morning, looking nice and I am done for the day!! It makes me feel great.

The other thing I did was buy a lovely, slinky dressing gown so if I haven't quite managed to get it together in the morning I don't feel like a massive slob.

I know these aren't exactly ground breaking but I really think that making fun changes first really helps.

When I wanted to start going to the gym all I did at first was go in the sauna and jacuzzi! Then you start getting the benefits of some time to yourself (and the sauna) and then swimming some lengths and going on the treadmill seems like the next logical step!

You have to make these things enjoyable otherwise you just won't do them.

Food wise, so difficult, I personally think just find a healthy meal you like and eat it every day for lunch for a few weeks.

And start the day with eggs and protein.

After a few weeks you will have broken the cycle.

First thing to do is book a haircut. Get the hairdresser to help you choose a style that is low maintenance and frames your face well. Get your brows and nails done too.

Then buy some clothes that really fit and suit you now. For your current weight and shape. Focus on colours and cuts that suit you but make sure they show a bit of your personality too. Don't just bulk buy baggy shirts or tees and drawstring trousers. Think about what style you like. I have a friend who is 5'2 and 13 stone. She always looks gorgeous because she dresses in clothes that really suit her personality and makes sure she always looks groomed and quite funky. Size should never prevent you from expressing a bit of personality in your clothing.

Next, start doing some really easy online workouts. Buy a mat (from £4 in Aldi) weights (£16-25 in Argos) or a kettlebell (about £20) and research some 8-10 minute HIIT or body weight or kettlebell workouts. Do them once a day. It's only 8-10 mins. Gradually up these until you start to feel a difference and then look at joining a bootcamp or cardio class.

Get active with DC. Every day walk out to the park or go for a bike ride. Go swimming with them. Build dens with them. Play ball games. Skip. Set up Scavenger hunts, go Pokemon hunting or geocaching. Have weekend adventures that involve climbing to the summit or a hill or walking 10k steps using a phone pedometer.

This is a brilliant post. I'd follow this advice.