To ask for your help- have let myself go

[thaimoon]

I'm nearly two stone heavier than I should be. None of my clothes fit because I don't want to buy new ones- "holding out for when I lose the weight". The ones that do fit are stained because I have a two year old who likes to cover me in felt too marks or food or mud.

I've got frizzy tangled up hair that I never seem to have time to sort so it's always just scraped back.

I'm just tired all the time and it makes me just want to reach for the junk food and stay in my sofa with a glass of wine.
I'd say I have one most nights which I know is bad.

I just need a kick up the bum to do something about it! I also don't know how people find the time??

So if anyone has any advice or tips or words of wisdom m that might help me to get my shit together I'd be most grateful, please and thank you

its down to eating less and healthier and moving more but you know that.But please be kind to YOU.

think of tasty meals, fresh fridge and veg. Walking in nice places.

get a haircut, treat yourself. That’s a start. Treat yourself to something nice to wear, looking forward to wearing its in a few months.

dont rush i to it, it takes time then you’re more apt to stick to it.

good luck x

New clothes is a must OP. I had my hair cut, started wearing my jewellery again, bought new clothes, bags and footwear, and felt much better, than feeling squished in my old clothes. Then, as I felt better, I started to lose weight. I'm another in favour of small changes, which then motivate you to make another change. I stopped eating chocolate bars, and lost 1/2 a stone very quickly 😊

Same here except I cut all my hair off and I'm kind of loving the not caring! I'm enjoying my food and I don't care what anyone thinks. I agree that I'm sad about some of my clothes no longer fitting but I feel pretty content for the first time ever! I'd say a good hair cut helps, short if you're just keeping it scraped back. Maybe sub one or two dinners a week with a salad or stir fry minus noodles instead? I'm doing some hula hooping for core strength so maybe suggest something similar that's fun and not too demanding as exercise.

You need to find the root of what is making you unhappy or you will find yourself back in that rut. For me it was being isolated away from everyone and the stress of bad landlord/ home educating sen child due to crap local authority and running around after children. I felt like I had no time, then one day I was going to visit a friend and I found time to do my hair and makeup and generally care about my appearance and I felt just how much I’d let myself go. I found the root of the problem to move forward. Joining the gym, moving house and eating healthier aswell as having a social life are my next steps. When we are unhappy when we feel so low and just slump into bad habits.

🥲 thank you all SO much, really
Will get around to replying properly soon but you have all been so kind and even funny! I didn't expect that support and makes me feel less alone in this.
Thank you

It’s an easy situation to get into OP - agree with pp, some clothes that fit (even if they’re just cheap/cheerful to wear until you fit back into your other clothes- if that’s what your aim is of course).

Maybe try to have a pamper session/long bath once or twice a week if you can and take some time on looking after yourself and do your hair after this. Batch cook and/or quick healthy food like salad or stir fry & cut takeaway/junk right down if not out entirely.

You can totally do this - many of us have been there! Don’t be do hard on yourself - see this as the start of a positive journey. ❤️

Start with action to improve how you feel. If you eat junk food you might not be getting the nutrients you need to feel as energetic and well as you could.
Rather than going on a diet, start by adding in foods that are good for you. There are foods that help hair, skin and general feelings of wellness. Make sure you eat these foods every day and don't let yourself touch junk food until you have. In time you'll have less room for the junk because all those vegetables and fruits are very filling.
While you're at it, try cutting down on foods that deplete your energy and steal your glow. Sugar, alcohol, processed, high salt. (And i personally think meat, but i know thats controversial)
Force yourself to take a brisk walk every day including some hills if possible.
I did all of the above and lost 2 stone in a month. O havd bags of energy and my hair and skin is great too.

I did not lose 2 stone in a month. I lost 2 stone in 6 months!

Oh water! Drink lots. You may think you’re hungry but you could well be thirsty. I drink lots and fills my belly.

What has worked for me lately:

Eat loads of protein (chicken eggs and Greek yogurt for me) and lots of veg
Less refined carbs
Go cold turkey on alcohol and sugar for a few weeks. I've slowly introduced 20g of dark choc.
Headphones on, favourite tunes on and dance around the house or hoover.
Get a decent hair cut and box dye every 6 weeks - order it on prime.
Lost about a stone by cutting down on sugar and carbs for a few weeks then bought a few nice dresses

Also op if you reframe it that sugar isn't a treat - is making you feel like shit and unhappy with your appearance, it helps. Good luck !!!

You don’t have to join a gym, get some more steps in. You can do them indoors even, try Leslie Sansone. And calorie counting, once you start seeing the scales come down you’ll it’s addictive

Also re clothes, you can get basic clothes that fit as a baseline but then spend on investment purchases that aren’t size-dependent such as shoes, bags, jewellery, accessories and clothes that are one-size or which fit a broad size range such as fabulous kimonos/kaftans if you want to invest in attire/improve overall look but not waste too much money on clothes in sizes that may soon be too big.

Think Camilla or One Hundred Stars if you want a couple of pieces you can wear throughout your refabulisation/jooj-journey 😃(obviously subject to your personal style but broadly):
onehundredstars.co.uk/collections/clothing-1

i have been where you are and would echo what others have said start with a nice hair cut and maybe just spend a little time each day just for you it doesn’t have to be big or expensive, some decent body cream, a little blusher try to think in little ten minutes steps. I find outdoor exercise really helps with mental and physical health also just tell yourself that you really are lovely and build from there. Sending support and a hand squeeze you’ve got this x

In a similar boat myself. I’ve started a month of being kind to myself. Which includes eating food that will make me feel good, taking the time to think about my own meals rather than just the kids, taking vitamins every day, doing the little things like moisturising that make me feel good.

It's hard but try to give up the wine each night. I have always enjoyed my wine but about 6 weeks ago I decided to make a real effort to lose some weight for an event & cut out the wine. It was really hard if I'm honest but my sleep is better, my hair is better and my crisps consumption is now down to nil! I do have the occasional gin. But feeling better about myself is belong me eat better
I also joined slimming world which I'm enjoying but alongside that I'm keeping an eye on calories. Nutracheck app is really good.

The first 2 weeks or so are hard but once you start to feel better it really motivates you. Good luck. You can definitely do it xx

I was about to say water but see someone's already mentioned it. My weight loss stalled but drinking loads of water has really helped get things moving again.

I wouldn’t start counting calories OP - you’ll very quickly develop a bad relationship with food. Just focus on cutting down the bad stuff and replacing it with the good stuff.

PPs are right - hair, nails, some new clothes, then small, incremental changes like cutting out wine or eating a healthy breakfast. They’ll all add up.

I’d also recommend Pilates. If you want support and company a Pilates class would be a better option than Slimming World.

Thanks so so much to you all. So much kindness!

I feel really motivated to start making a change.

I'm going to start small and rather than diet I am going to eat better and start doing more steps, that feels manageable.

Regarding my birds nest hair and clothes- that's more daunting- but thanks to the posters who have given me ideas of where to look for clothes, I never knew about these places/websites and I will look at them tonight. You're all right- I think if I actually had clothes I looked forward to wearing rather than dreading opening the wardrobe or simply pulling on yesterdays outfit off the floor it would lift my mood a lot.

Mostly, it's been so nice just to hear I'm not alone and to hear your inspiring stories of improving things for yourselves.

Thank you again, I was worried about posting but so glad I did

I am going to buy an apron!
And you made me laugh out loud with the comment about jacuzzi and sauna 😂
Thank you

Get a haircut-and get your brows threaded
clothes don’t have to cost loads-eBay and vinted are good places to start-clothes that fit will make a difference
touch of mascara and lip balm
chuck out anything that doesn’t fit/stained/doesn’t go with anything else

none of this has to cost a fortune-but it’s self care which is priceless

May I suggest Team RH to help motivate you to lose weight? It’s all online, you decide how many steps you want to take and if you want to do resistance training (weights). You pay about £60 a year for it, and it’s incredible.
i was previously a slimming world member, but eventually it stopped working for me, and if you listen to the Team RH videos what they say makes sense.

I’ve learned about my macros, I look at food differently now, and I’m hardly ever hungry, and there is NO food which is syned.
Have a look and see what you think?

With regards to getting you steps up, it’s really just about moving, and you will actually be amazed at how many “steps” you rack up with moving about the house doing your housework, or going round the supermarket, and running after your little one. There are many workout videos online you can do, Caroline Girvan is amazing and Action Jacquelyn are good too, you never know your little one may even join in and you can make that fun.

Most Importantly, be kind to yourself, you’ve created a human being, and your tired thats okay, and it’s hard but it won’t last forever, so start to love yourself and your body. Go clothes shopping, go to the hairdressers, and if you like wearing makeup, start with mascara or a little bit of lipstick.

You deserve to love yourself x

I feel you OP. I have also let myself go. I've gained weight, not bothered with my hair or makeup. I now wfh full time after covid, some weeks I don't even brush my hair. I binge eat crap. It's a vicious cycle - I eat crap, I don't do any exercise so I feel tired. Too tired to wash and dry my hair, too tired to give a crap about what I look like. This has to stop.
I have set myself a goal of being the best version of myself that I can be by xmas. For me, that means losing 2 stone between now and Xmas.
You can pull yourself out of this OP. Slowly and surely, you've got this x

Sort your hair first, then a bit of skincare even if it's just 2-3 quick products a couple of times a week like a cleanser toner and moisturiser rather than face wipes.

A top down approach always works for me as it's the bit of yourself you see the most often in the mirror, if that makes sense!

And drink loads of water. I can never believe how much difference that makes to my skin, stops as many headaches, feel less shit first thing.

And I know not everyone wants to but stopping drinking makes a huge difference. Skin doesn't feel dry any more, less wasted calories and makes mornings a bit less rubbish.

You deserve to feel happy and healthy

Totally agree with the above.

There are some really nice dresses around at the moment which, together with a pair of comfy but stylish sandals, will make you look and feel way better than leggings and t-shirts.

Also, try not to drink calories - it's such a waste. I do have the odd glass, but I try to make a conscious decision, rather than mindlessly pouring a glass out of habit. Plus I'll cut out something else to compensate, especially carbs.