getting a gastric band at 20?

[amykg]

hey all x

so I’ve never been a slim girl but I had my dd really young (i was 17). i’ve struggled really badly with my size since then and i’ve got really overweight.

i’ve tried all the usual stuff, slimming world, slim fast, calorie counting, but haven’t found anything where i can get the weight off and keep it off.

my parents sat me down last week and told me that for my 21st birthday present that they would give me the money to have the gastric band operation if i want to do it.

I’m obviously super grateful to them for the offer and i said yes because i want to be healthy and a good role model for my dd. but now i’ve had time to think i’m wondering whether its the right decision at my age because its such a massive life choice and whether i just need to try harder losing weight myself

am i being unreasonable having second thoughts about such an amazing offer?

@Glitterspy but that doesn't always work! It's like when the doctor suggested to me to try some gentle walking as if I don't exercise just because I'm fat

Today I had
A tuna, sweetcorn and salad sandwich for lunch, banana and some Greek yoghurt
Cottage pie (400g portion homemade with lots of veg in) for tea, and some steamed veg on the side
Grapes (handful)
Mugs of tea (no sugar) and about 2.5l water

I do 30-90 min spin classes almost daily, plus stretching and weights and some barre/yoga. I started doing that in feb, didn't change my diet and have lost zero despite going from doing nothing to doing loads

What part of that food should I cut out because I'm already not eating breakfast. I don't move during the day because of my job hence why i exercise at night

How hard have you tried with things like slimming world and calorie counting / increasing your steps. I’d give them a proper go first

I'm a bit older than you OP (mid 30s), have struggled with my weight for about 7 or so years now. Also tried everything. I'm tall but BMI of 37. It's affecting me now and I'm fed up; I struggle to exercise, I've got back problems, I can't kneel on my knees etc.

I booked an appointment with my GP and saw him this morning. He was actually lovely about it and totally non-judgemental. Was saying the same as what others have said; that it's basically metabolism and very hard to lose weight (and crucially, keep it off after!). He has referred me to the weight management team - I asked what they would do and he said probably surgery or maybe semaglutide.
Go see your GP, they may be helpful!

spend the money on therapy to look at why you overeat?
also, a few years ago, I had a short spell of seeing a nutritionist - seeing her once a month was comparable to the cost of slimming world type stuff - and more beneficial.

The NHS often give you more psychological support than private health care providers. However, it can take years to complete the program and then wait for surgery and some people find it a bit like jumping though hoops for no clear reason.

Oh and when i say I tried everything- I found that I do lose weight on 800kcal a day but I get headaches and feel faint and can't do my job so that's not sustainable. At 1200kcal I lost 2kg in 2 weeks and then nothing for the following 6 weeks. At 1500kcal I don't gain weight. Over 1500kcal I gain weight.
I did slimming world for months, stuck strictly to plan and almost never used all my sins and lost about 3kg in 6 months.

I also have an underactive thyroid which doesn't help.

Go for it, i had a bypass at 40. I wish i had done it much younger, it would have saved me all those years of self loathing.

I've had it at 36 and I wish I would have done it younger.

I'm not sure about 20 but it would have saved me years of upset.

That’s a BMI of over 50; are you already working with your GP for help with this?

@amykg This thread below may be of interest to you.... I have cut out UPF, and the health benefits are fantastic!
If you go for it, you'll need to give it at least 6 months before you are used to it.

mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4583619-to-be-totally-on-the-anti-upf-bandwagon-and-think-this-may-finally-be-how-i-crack-my-food-addiction

Personally I wouldn't rush into this type of surgery, I understand that for many people it looks like an easy fix. But I always think, exploring the underlying reasons and sustainable lifestyle / diet changes should come before any weight loss surgery.

My GP asked me if I wanted a referral.

I looked into it, and to be honest when I looked into what you have to do before and after, well I thought, "If I could do that I wouldn't need the op".

I was always big, I was 10lb at birth.

After developing arthritis (not linked to my weight) and not being able to work my weight has gone up.

I managed to lose 5stone using Orlistat, but then I got ill and had to stop, the weight came back on.

I've now got T2 diabetes. I'm shorter than you and not quite as heavy so I know how miserable it can be.

Because of the diabetes I'm following 2rules.

Low carb diet (not no carb)
Eat protein for breakfast

The weight is coming off at about 0.5kg a week

I think you should talk to your GP about this, it may be possible to get a referral to a dietician to go through issues with eating, and one thing I have had to learn is what to eat. What is good? How does it affect my blood glucose?

You are still young. Do you want more children? Bariatric surgery won't stop you from having more but you would need to be monitored more closely.

Another thing I have done is to get a 'Freestyle libre' glucose monitor. It is a disc about the size of a £1 coin that monitors interstitial glucose every 15 mins. You scan it with a phone and it tells you your glucose reading, I have found it really useful because it tells me what my blood sugar is doing in response to what I have eaten.

So I now know a banana on its own causes a spike for me, so I don't eat bananas unless they are with something else. For others there might not be a spike.

I do not know if it is something that would help you, I have no idea if you could even get one (you can get a free sample if you are diabetic and on the NHS if you have Type 1).

I'm learning a lot about how the body processes different food and how different sugars are processed so a piece of fruit can contain a lot of sugar, but the sugar is fructose and the rest of the fruit contains things like fibre.

The body processes fructose differently to other sugars, ie in the liver.

www.bbcgoodfood.com/howto/guide/sugar-explained

In short there are people on here who have been through the experience of bariatric surgery and have found it a positive. I decided against it but I'm having to change my lifestyle now, for good.

Talk to your GP, make contact with people who have had the surgery and ask about the downsides.

Make sure your decision is informed, not just about the surgery but about the lifestyle changes.

And good luck with whatever you choose.

It is for the vast majority of people. They just lack willpower...

Not an amazing "gift"
It is a life time of not being able to eat normal food or portions anymore

It is a quick 'fix ' for people who think it is a whole grail.

You were never fat
So it is not genetic
You need to change your life style. And you lack willpower thats it.

Don’t have the band. Nhs don’t do them generally now as they have so many issues
also super easy to cheat (Ice cream, chocolate, high calorie drinks etc).
i had a bypass but I think the sleeve is more appropriate for youngsters. It’s more like the old stomach stapling
20/21 is very very young. It’s definitely not been easy and a huge % of post by passers end up with alcohol issues. I did but have sorted that 2 yrs ago

OP, I say this kindly as someone who has had lifelong problems with food. I have lost some weight the hard way (nearly 4 stone and still going), but have accepted that my obsession with food is something I'll realistically never have under full control. You can't just undo 48 years!
All I can do is my best, but it's a daily battle.
I worry for you that the bariatric surgery will do nothing to change the way you see food, your relationship with it, or your mindset. So that makes it a sticking plaster, as far as I am concerned.
It's psychological, and I'm concerned that you will still find a way to eat. After all, none of us would be overweight if we only ate when we actually needed food!
Good luck, whatever you decide.

I had a mini bypass exactly one year ago at age 23. I was almost 23 stone at 5ft 2, one child, very similar to you. My life has changed completely for the better. I wish I’d have done it at 18 years old in all honesty. People who haven’t had the op will make out your life won’t be normal and you’ll be miserable but that really isn’t the case.

I fell pregnant at 4/5 months post op, now 33 weeks. I’ve lost the entire time and I’m now 15st 4. As soon as baby is out I expect a couple stone off in the first month and then the rest to keep coming off. Happy to speak to you privately if wanted. X

Have you tried hypnotism?

I agree. Being a good role model means changing your lifestyle permanently to include healthy eating an exercise. It will be harder than surgery but ultimately better for your health.

I think the money would be better spent on some good therapy and a dietician.

is your under active thyroid being treated?

Have you had your thyroid checked? An under active thyroid is much more common than people realize. If I were you I would go and see my GP and ask for a blood test. Unless your portions are gigantic or you’re eating more than you’ve told us, there’s no way you shouldn’t be losing weight with that amount of exercise.

Because some of us have also been told we'd never be capable of doing it without surgery - the underlying judgemental narrative being that we're helpless, incapable and might as well stay as we are.

I certainly was told that multiple times by people who were also obese. And when I began to slowly lose weight through exercise (for the good of my body and mind) and making healthier choices in food because I wasn't using it to numb stress, anxiety or pain), it changed to 'you'll never keep it off, you know, you'll be the size of a house again come Christmas'.

When Christmas came and went, it changed to 'well, you have all that loose skin, fat looks better than that, not worth it if you can't wear a string bikini, really.'

And then when I continued, it changed to 'must be an illness she's not talking about. Or an eating disorder. Bet she's bingeing and throwing up on the quiet. Or she's buying amphetamines on the internet'.

Eventually, the sniping gossips changed to 'she's one of those who lies about having surgery. Nobody can do that without a bypass'.

I guess the thing is that because it worked for me, it makes others feel like I'm attacking them just by existing. Whilst I initially started because I wanted to be able to do more/feel stronger and happier and the weightloss followed, biologically what I've done is move more and eat slightly fewer calories than I use.

At 20, I'd have found more use from encouragement and childcare so I could go and be active instead of constantly being told I'd never do it on my own or that it wasn't really worth it if I couldn't do it practically overnight.

And maybe, just maybe, a contribution towards a tummy tuck in the future would have been nice.

What is oa please

It’s psychological in my experience. You need to want to lose weight and then commit to it. In every way.

I say this as I put on 5 stone after my youngest was born and stayed fat for 4 years!!! I’ve since lost the weight, but I’m annoyed with myself that I spent so long gorging after starving myself repeat. I hated how I looked, wore awful baggy clothes, squished my ass into the swing at the park, got out of breath running after DC. So sad.

It was only when I saw an awful photo of myself that I realised how big I’d gotten. I didn’t feel like I looked like that it if makes sense. I then did a clothes trying on session of things I thought I still fitted in. There were items I could even get over my arms and knees!!!

I managed to learn more about what I eat. I couldn’t believe the amount of sugar in so many things like milk and apples and yoghurt. I used Noom and it helped enormously.

By losing all the weight you put a mirror up to your so called friends and families own failures and they didn't like it. People are horrible and jealous when they see others succeed. Congratulations on your weight loss journey it's not easy but the rewards are worth it!

OP have you ever looked at why you over eat from a psychological perspective? Boredom? Comfort eating? Eating disorder? Trauma? I would definitely recommend getting some form of counselling or therapy as well, to tackle the root causes of why you overeat.