My mother is 90 and very much all there, she craves attention and if the family don't jump we'll get told in no uncertain terms. I was told to "F off" last night, she's threatened the neighbours, this has been going on for decades so by no means only with her old age.
I was called by a sister as a food delivery service had noticed the curtains were still closed and she couldn't be raised. Bless Wiltshire Farm Foods for doing this. My sister called me as I'm local so I popped down there. The bedroom door was locked, I'm gently tapping, which goes to knocking, I'm knocking on the bedroom window begging her so say something, even if it's "Get lost", there's nothing no sound, no reaction, nothing. She is deaf but not so that she wouldnt hear me knocking on the bedroom door and window.
By now i'm in tears, totally panicked my calls and knocks are met with silence, I'm thinking this is the time we lose her, she's gone. I phone the police to break into the bedroom door, who were totally amazing. I said this could be when she passes or she could be playing me up again.
I call through the door that the police are here and if she doesn't let us know she's ok the door will be going in. The police say the same thing. He taps the door with the ram thing and she opens it right as rain.
She won't speak to me, but replies to whatever the police say to her.
I've been in pieces for a couple of hours, couldn't stop crying, thinking she was gone. But I'm also thinking that she knew what she was doing, we've been in similar situations before and it's a nasty thing to do, to scare and worry someone like that.
Before you judge me too harshly I used to be her carer and after years of switching between nasty and lovely I had to hand it over to the rest of the family as it was making me ill.
So am I being unreasonable to not know whether to hug her (not that she'd let me) or tell her to stop creating drama (not that it would work).
The day I don't respond will be the day she does really need help so I can't ignore her.